Monday, October 02, 2006

Tales From the Dark Side: Titan-ically Terrible (rock me!)

You might think all is, well, dark over here on the Dark Side following Cowboys 45 - Titans (snort) 14. Not so. There’s much to be joyfully pessimistic about regarding our beloved Cowboys. Where shall we start?

How about with this: Tennessee is God-awful. There is nothing “titanic” about this team and it makes me giggle to even say the word. Poor on defense, limited on offense, rookie QB, no running game, etc etc. There’s every chance they go 0-16. Really. What can they do well? What can they do even decently?

Vince Young may grow up into the greatest QB in the history of the NFL. I’m sure rooting for him. But I think it’s unlikely. His success at Texas came in an offense which allowed him to maximize his physical superiority. Guess what? He left that superiority in the Rose Bowl back in Jan. In the NFL, he’s just another big, fast guy, one among literally hundreds. There is little chance Vince will dominate physically. He’s got to become a QB. He may be able to do it in time, but yesterday showed he’s got a ways to go.

Which certainly helped the pedestrian Cowboys. Once again, a sub-par offense with no serious weapons made the Cowboy D look All-World. Folks, this is smoke and mirrors. A real offense will shred this bunch. While I will give the secondary some credit, I don’t think the front seven is capable of stopping an elite running back, or pressuring a top 10 QB. Philadelphia should expose this defense for what it truly is. If they don’t, the Giants, Carolina, or Indianapolis (yikes!) will.

And how about on the offensive side of the ball? Oh sure, the O line looked omnipotent yesterday. I suspect Sam Houston State’s O line could handle the Tennessee front, especially after Albert (Dumbest Man in the NFL?) Haynesworth got himself ejected for attempted murder on Andre Gurode. I’m still thinking the same way I did in training camp – this bunch is below average at best. I have seen nothing to change my mind so far.

A big day for the running backs (esp Mr. Jones, of whom, I must confess, I am a fan) and Bledsoe (another guy I can’t help but like). TO (The Incredible Me) Owens had a semi-large day, but failed to score, thank God. All in all, I’d be impressed if the Titans D weren’t about as tough as the Celina Bobcats. Do it next week and I’ll change my tune

So, while yesterday’s game was a bummer, there’s still lots to feel dark and gooey about. I am rubbing my hands together in anticipation of next week’s ace-whuppin’ to be administered by the Eagles.

Final note: The Tennessee Titans’ story was summed up nicely by the fans’ reaction to Titans’ owner Bud Adams vs. that given to Bondo-Face. Adams, addressing the crowd during the ceremony retiring Warren Moon’s number (even though he played for the Houston Oilers, and never played in Tennessee), was roundly booed. Bondo-Face, on the other hand, was signing autographs left and right from his open-air owner’s box. It says a heck of a lot about a franchise when Jerry Jones is a desirable alternative to what you’ve got.

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