Regardless of whether he has a legit point or not, and you can make up your own mind about that, this is how the inevitable melt-down starts. If the Cowboys continue to lose, and they will, although not this week, TO Owens’ complaints will get louder and more pointed, culminating with him calling out Bledsoe, the coaching staff, the Pear Shaped Football Genius himself, or perhaps all three. And from there, it’s gonna be implosion city.
Bwahahahaha, I can’t wait.
Anyway, on with this week’s preview:
Colleges
Florida @ Auburn – We lead off with the Redneck Game of the Week. I liked Auburn right up until they got drilled by Arkansas last week. Arkansas? This goes to show the non-conf schedule tells us just about nothing. The game is down to pick, which is stunning to me. I am signing up for a quintuple play on Florida. That’s assuming the Gators’ yellow-dog school bus doesn’t break down on the way to the game.
Michigan @ Penn St – The Wolverines will mop the floor with Penn St. Regardless, THIS is a college football game, by God. The leaves are probably turning in PA, there should be a nip in the air. You have got to love fall weekends, man.
Missouri @ Texas A&M – The Ags are getting 2, but they’re gonna need a bunch more than that to get my vote. I fear bad things for A&M this season in general and this weekend in particular. Coach Fran, if he’s smart, has a go bag packed and a fast car parked, nose out, close by.
Baylor @ Texas – The somewhat-resurgent Bears get 28.5 points. I’d stay away from that, but the ‘Horns will kill ‘em. It’s still well within the realm of possibility Texas gets to defend the championship this year.
Iowa St @ OU – The Sooners will win this game, probably pretty easily. However, they’re giving 19, which is too much for the OU offense. I’ll take those points, please.
Boston University vs. the sainted memory of Malcolm Perry – The pride of New Hamster, Malcolm returned kicks for the Fighting Terriers before bailing out for the green pastures (literally) of UNH. A great guy whom I really like, I wonder where he is now…
Pros
Texans @ Cowboys – Everyone is expecting a Dallas romp similar to that of two weeks ago in Tennessee. While the Texans are bad, David Carr seems to have figured out a thing or two. I’m pretty sure the Cowboys will win, but a Texans squeaker would not shock me one bit. How delicious would that be? Oh, and by the way, Houston is getting 13. NO ONE should get 13 against the Cowboys.
Cincinnati @ Tampa Bay – The Bengals are still one of my faves in the AFC. And TB is bad regardless of the condition of Chris Simms and his liberated spleen.
Giants @ Atlanta – The Giants are getting 3 here? I don’t get it. The Giants will win straight up.
Tennessee @ Redskins – Another funky spread. The Titans, admittedly as bad an NFL team as you’ll ever see, are getting 10 against Washington? There may not be a touchdown scored in this game. Gimme the points, man.
San Diego @ SF – Another big spread (SF gets 10), I’m staying away from this one. I think San Diego has a bit in it’s bag, while SF has got nothing. But California is just to strange for me to predict.
Seattle @ St Louis – I think the boys in Vegas have been smoking some major hooch this week. St. Louis gets 3? Seattle is going to kill them. Look for some properties on the Strip going up for sale early next week. Or some hair-gel-wearing dudes in the unemployment lines. Crazy, man.
Comedic Value Game of the Week – We finally have a clear-cut winner. Buffalo @ Detroit is about as uninteresting as it gets. Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp and Fleagle from the Banana Splits will be the broadcast team on this one, with HR Pufenstuff and Hong Kong Phooey roaming the sidelines. Since I’m now out of late-70’s kids TV references, I think I’ll quit here.
Go (insert your team here)!
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