China: Xinjiang goes "boom"

In case you've been living under a rock for the past 4 or so days, ethnic tensions in the far western Chinese province of Xinjiang have boiled over in the most serious of manners.

Its still down to who you listen to regarding causes and exactly who has done what to whom. However, it's safe to say the indigenous Uighurs (Muslims with ethnic and religious ties to other Central Asians like the Tajiks, Kyrgyz, and Kazakhs) and the relatively-recent immigrant Han (the majority ethnicity in the rest of China), who have been sorta grinding up against each other for years, and not in a good way, have finally blown off a lot of steam. Mob violence seemed to rule the streets of Urumqi, the capital city of the province, earlier in the week. State media reports 150+ killed, thousands arrested, and who-knows-how-much property damage.

The images coming out of Urumqi this week are some of the scariest you will ever see.

This first YouTube clip is not for the faint of heart. Lots of blood and bodies; you get some sort of sense early in the clip of the chaos of the street. I'm not sure where this comes from; the text on the screen looks to be Korean, but I am no Asian language scholar. Anyone with any more info, please chime in:



From MSNBC, a recap of sorts:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The Beeb, always the best bet for international news from obscure places, has this bit of reportage from Quentin Sommerville, a good, kilt-wearing, caber-tossing Jock sent off to the far reaches of Asia. If you troll through the BBC site, you'll find a good deal more from wee Quentin and others.

We've mentioned the ethnic situation in Xinjiang here before. It's not at all clear whether ETIM or any of their fellow Muslim travelers are involved here. Certainly, they are in the neighborhood and watching closely, if nothing else. This sure looks spontaneous, but it's impossible to tell anything from 7000 miles away and no access to anything other than general media reports.

The question I've got is how did it start? Perhaps street protests are routine in Urumqi. A name being tossed about by the Chinese as a possible instigator is one Rebiyah Kadeer, a rather vociferous Uighur critic of the Chinese. Ms. Kadeer has spent some time in the Chinese clink, and is currently in exile in the US. Hard to see how she's encouraging mob violence from the other side of the planet, but they said the same thing about Khomenei in the 70s and look how that turned out.

The violence looks like it's been shut down by a massive influx of state security forces - everything from riot-shotgun-toting police to what appears to be platoons of People's Liberation Army infantry. However, the underlying tensions aren't going away any time soon. Given the People's Republic's usual ham-fisted manner with its own civilians, especially the minority groups, along with Xinjiang's importance both as an oil-producer and a buffer against the really scary Muslims in Pakistan, don't expect the Chinese to scale back the influx of Han or yuan any time soon, and don't expect this to be the last time you see violence in the streets of Urumqi.

The official party line from the Chinese government makes all the right noises as far as the domestic audience is concerned, and actually represents a signficant departure from the normal internal and external news blackout we've come to expect from Beijing. Worth a look:

What does a trillion dollars look like?

No, the picture below isn't it. This is a mere $100 million.

If you want to see $1 trillion, in packets of $100 bills, go look here.

And, just for shock value, here you will see the $11 trillion US debt.

Um, holy crap?

The Burry Man Writers Center - www.burryman.com

Neat site I found while job hunting....

The Burry Man Writers Center - www.burryman.com

Shared via AddThis

Ortiz takes a beating out of the ring too

Personally, I would have quit after they put that freaking Clockwork Orange mouthpiece in my yap....


Ortiz takes a beating out of the ring too

Shared via AddThis

Johnny Thunders

Sometimes I wish I was Johnny Thunders. Watch this and maybe you will understand why:




Other days, I am so glad I am me.....

Too true to be funny

Bright Eyes

This is for all you lovers out there in the blogosphere.



Love the one you're with.

Celebrate Music and Dance

Aung San Suu Kyi to be charged and tried

The armed thugs who claim to be the government of Burma are, apparently, about to charge Nobel laureate Aung San Suu Kyi, along with her two live-in maids, with harboring a US national secretly in Suu Kyi's lakeside home for two days.

The Golden Land is full of nutty stories, but this is one of the nuttier I can recall.

It seems a John Yettaw, which may be a vaguely Burmese name, although I could be quite wrong on that, who is from the US, swam the lake to reach Suu Kyi's home. He stayed in the home for two days, and has since been arrested, although not charged. US diplomats were able to visit him, but haven't spoken publicly about the case yet.

The 63-year-old Suu Kyi, who has been under detention of one form or another for most of the past 20 years, has been rumored to be in poor health lately. According to her doctor, she suffers from dehydration and low blood pressure. Who knows what that really means.

There's some conjecture by the Beeb that this is an effort to put Suu Kyi away until after next year's "elections", which is as good an explanation as any. Suu Kyi pretty much is the opposition, such as it is, and locking her up where no UN or Western representatives can get a look at her would certainly prevent her from making any public noise.

Still, this represents something of a departure for Than Shwe and his minions. Up until now, they've been treating Suu Kyi with white gloves. They allow her no freedom, but they have resisted the notion of tossing her in the clink or any other drastic actions. They have to know that this is going to make some headlines in the West (not to mention spark the ire of certain bloggers, which I'm sure has them quaking in their Buster Browns), but since when has that stopped them from doing anything? Locking Suu Kyi up this far ahead of the elections makes sense, in their little dinosaur brains, in that it will have faded from attention by the time it matters.

In the pantheon of near-hopeless to hopeless situations, lost causes to causes well on their way to lost, from Zimbabwe to Gaza to GM, Burma has a place of honor: The spot on this little planet of ours furthest from any sort of hope at all.

FailBlog (extremely dark) giggle

No further comment necessary...

Swine flu funny

Sorry, I mean "H1N1", although I have also heard "Farmageddon" or "Aporkalypse"...

Daily YouTube: Morning news show prank

The local morning news show in Kirkwood MO gets pranked with every juvenile fake name you can think of in their "Birthdays and Anniversaries" segment.

The anchor realizes whats up towards the end, but his stumbling through only makes it funnier.

Such a giggle!

Keith Olbermann is my hero

I have been an Olbermann fan since the days of the Big Show on ESPN. While I disagree with a lot of his politics, I really like the guy to this day.

Now, he has taken another step up in my estimation.

After Sean "Windbag" Hannity said on his TV show that he'd undergo waterboarding "for charity", Olbermann has stepped in and offered $1,000 per second that Hannity can withstand the treatment.

No response from Hannity.

Everything I have ever read from people who have been subjected to waterboarding tells me that, regardless of your training, experience, general level-headedness, or toughness, it is terrifying. Your body believes you are drowning. I believe it is torture. Whether it's effective or not, I really have no idea.

I would LOVE to see Hannity do this. Put up or shut up, you blowhard. Hell, I'm in for $10 per second (I don't make the coin Olbermann does) to the charity of Hannity's choice.

C'mon, Sean, Put your kiester where you mouth is!

Bird humor

Have you heard about the man who did it with a parakeet? He contracted chirpes.

And the worst thing? It was untweetable.

Swine flu: Not sure what to make of this yet

Swine flu has taken hold in Mexico, killing upwards of 70 people (and many more if you believe on-the-scene comments on BBC) and spreading to a variety of other spots around the globe. The Mexicans are in a tizzy, the CDC is on alert, but I'm not sure if the bang matches the hype.

I certainly don't mean to trivialize the deaths of 70 or more people. However, I suspect snake bites take out more than 70 people per day on this lovely little planet of ours, and I don't see hordes of slithery little bastards on the front page of MSNBC.

I am intrigued by the flu story. A few things that pique my interest:

1. The rapidity of the spread, both in the population of Mexico City and the amount of geography covered by more recent cases.

2. The reported genetic structure of the virus, which seems to combine DNA from pig flu, bird flu, and people flu. Viruses are constantly mutating, and this may be all in a day's work for a virulent gene, but it sure strikes me as odd.

3. The out-of-nowhere-ness of the whole thing. Maybe this sort of thing happens, on a smaller scale, in the world of infectious diseases, and we just never hear about it. Whatever the case, I have never heard of anything like this, or presented in this matter, before.

I certainly don't want to be alarmist, or sound paranoid, or make more of this than it is. However, my little Tom Clancy-inspired brain can't help but ping on the thought that there's maybe more to this than we know.

Just suppose the Iranians, or the NKs, or someone else who has a ton of resources and a healthy dislike for the West in general and the good ol' USandA in particular (there's a lengthy list, yeah?) wanted to f**k with us in a big way? That part is not too far-fetched, right? There's no shortage of groups who would like nothing better than to go tinkle in our breakfast cereal.

Here's where I fear I am veering off into black helicopter-dom:

How hard is it to splice together your own virus? Obviously you're not doing it with a couple of test tubes and an Easy-Bake oven - it would clearly take the resources of a nation-state or the equivalent, and it's not the sort of thing you do in a cave in South Waziristan. But it can probably be done.

Next, if you were going to try to clandestinely bio-bomb the US, wouldn't Mexico be a great place to start? Especially if you had something really virulent and really easy to spread amongst humans? I mean, it's not like the security services in Mexico are in the MI-6 league, right? And its not like the US really has a grip on the border, right?

So, a couple of things are really wrong with my little hypothesis. One - Mexico City, which seems to be the epicenter of this thing right now, isn't right on the border. Tijuana, Juarez, or Matamoros seem like better places to start. Next, this virus, at least right now, doesn't seem to spread all that effectively - the cases which have popped up in the US and Canada (and elsewhere) seem to be less serious than those down south.

I'm sure there are about 20,000 other things wrong with my thought. I'm no scientist. I'm just a guy who reads too much, has a healthy dose of historical Jewish paranoia, and some well-earned 21st century skepticism.

I'm reasonably sure I am barking at shadows here. But I have to admit it popped into my little melon right away...

Movie greatness

I caught Schindler's List on HBO last night. It was certainly not the first time I've seen it, as it is required viewing for any Jew over the age of about 13 - it may have been incorporated into the Bar Mitzvah process, and if it hasn't, it should be.

This was probably the fifth or sixth time I sat thru Spielberg's masterpiece, and with this level of familiarity, I noticed some new things this time around.

Liam Neeson as Oskar Schindler is pitch-perfect throughout. He has the physical presence to portray a man who will, alone and without hesitation, enter the gates of Auschwitz to pull "his people" back from the abyss. He completely sells the transformation of Schindler from womanizing snake-oil salesman to great, compassionate, righteous human - a man who starts as all flash becomes substantial enough to comfort with a gentle kiss the traumatized Jewish maid/punching bag of a concentration camp commander; a man who begins the film with no significant visible morality is, by film's end, capable of such moral clarity and strength that he is able to turn his back on everything he had professed to be interested in and care only for the victims he sees around him.

Casting Neeson was a masterstroke.

The rest of the cast is equally exceptional. The music is perfect. The little use of color in the film is perfect. Sets, continuity, staging, photography - all exactly right.

All this is to point out the perfectly obvious: Steven Spielberg is the greatest maker of movies in the history of movies.

Schindler's List is clearly his masterpiece, and, given the subject, may be the greatest movie ever made. Add to that his other spectacular success - Saving Private Ryan, ET, Close Encounters, Raiders of the Lost Ark (Indy in general), I could go on and on and on - my God, what a talent.

Sure, AI gave me a headache. Catch Me If You Can and 1941 were trifles (but entertaining trifles), and I'm still not sure what to make of Minority Report. No one hits a home run every time. Except Pixar, but that's another story - call me when they match Spielberg in longevity and production, and we'll compare notes.

I said to myself a number of times during last night's viewing, and have repeated it a number of times since: How fortunate are we to be around to see this guy's work as it happens.

The great news is he shows no signs of losing grip of his powerful gifts. Nor does he show any inclination to stop doing what he does so masterfully.

Thank you, Mr. Spielberg. Here's hoping you spend many more years embellishing your record as the greatest ever at what you do.

World's greatest business card

Genius!













And, from the same secret stash - the card you get when you meet Steve Martin on the street:

Cool picture with a downer of an explanation

I ran across this photo and was instantly intrigued. What the heck is it? A huge stadium in the midst of paradise? Some Bahrainian sheik's summer getaway?

Unfortunately, its nowhere near as cool as either of those things. Instead, it is a concrete dome which shields a crater and soil left over from H-bomb tests in the 50s.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Another example of this blog writing itself:

Sex offender found nude, self-mutilated; bit tip of own penis off: cops

Some info you haven't seen on Somali "pirates"

Much has been written about the pirates of Somalia, so I'm not going to rehash any of the recent news (other than to pass along an emphatic "well done" regarding the most-impressive marksmanship clinic put on by the SEALs last weekend). Instead, I'd like to point you at some back story that I hadn't seen before. Perhaps you have not either.

So, let's get one piece of business out of the way straight off: Some, perhaps most, of the "pirates" we are reading about lately are nothing more than thieves, hooligans, gangsters, etc. A sizable percentage of these guys are lowlifes in the truest sense of the word. The jerkoffs who are attempting to hijack ships loaded with food and supplies bound for Darfur and other African disaster areas are the worst kind of parasites. Nothing I am about to discuss applies to these cretins. These types deserve a Special Forces love-tap, and you will never hear a peep from me beyond "Bravo, boys".

However, there are some Somali "pirates" who do not fit this description.

Did you know (I did not) that, at about the same time Somalia's last true government collapsed in the early 90s, mysterious ships began dumping barrels of waste into Somali coastal waters? Turns out this "waste" was from European hospitals and power plants, and was medical and nuclear.

You read that correctly: Persons unknown were dumping nuclear waste into the water off Somali beaches.

Not surprisingly, the populace in the area started to get sick and have malformed babies. The 2005 Indian Ocean tsunami washed hundreds of barrels of this crap onshore, where more pronounced radiation sickness began to occur.

This was not the only indignity thrust upon Somali coastal dwellers.

As you might suspect, a major local industry is fishing. Coastal Somalis feed themselves from the ocean, as do coastal dwellers the world around. In the past 20 or so years, with no government to assert sovereignty over Somalia's territorial waters, Euro fishing trawlers have been illegally clearing the sea out (thanks, U2), leaving greatly reduced fish stocks for the locals. Needless to say, this threatens the livelihoods, and the lives, of said locals.

Local Somalis started going out in speedboats to dissuade the Euros who were illegally dumping or illegally fishing, or to collect a "tax". Hence, the emergence of "pirates".

Now, it's clearly devolved from there. A bunch of dirt-bag opportunists have co-opted what was a pretty legitimate activity on the part of the locals. The current situation has much less to do with real grievances, and much more to do with a bunch of thugs looking to make some quick cash.

That doesn't invalidate the original activities, though.

I had no idea. I'm thinking maybe you haven't heard this stuff either. So here it is.

Just another public service from your friends here at CIT.

A city official with a sense of humor

The natives are restless in San Francisco, where efforts to expand the use of medical marijuana are causing all sorts of furor.

I have gone on record many times in my support of the legalization of marijuana, and just about everything else, so I won't go off on rant here. Instead, I will point you to a story on the San Francisco Chronicle's site, where you will find the following gem:

"The mayor will have to hash this out with public health officials," press secretary Nathan Ballard said. "It's the mayor's job to weed out bad legislation. And to be blunt, this sounds pretty bad."

This, my friends, is genius!

A great gift idea

I think this is somewhat disrespectful of the office...

Daily YouTube: Creed is soooo talented!

I just about spit my drink across the desk at this one...

(Language warning, btw)

Something to look forward to....

My son and I have been wandering around in a daze, without purpose, without meaning.

Now we have both:




Why not have some fun, eh?

Daily YouTube: Hamas continues to spread peace and understanding...

Picked this up from Jewish Issues Watchdog today: Hamas has put on a little play at the Islamic University in Gaza, in which two actors dressed as Hasidim talk about how they hate the Muslims and want to drink and wash in Muslim blood.

First, I feel compelled to point out how chopped up the video is. I'm relying on the supplied sub-titles, and overlooking a great many, obvious edits. Is this thing REALLY as inflammatory as it appears? I don't know. We know this isn't much of a break in the normal tone of Hamas' "cultural education" agenda - any "culture" which can spawn a kids character as evil as Farfour, the martyred, hate-spewing Mickey Mouse ripoff, is certainly capable of staging a play about Jews drinking blood.

Second, I notice that the turnout for the play is not exactly SRO.

I'm not really sure what it is that we're seeing here. It may be something very different from what it appears.

But maybe its exactly what it appears to be. It is Hamas. It is Gaza.

At any rate, watch this little jewel and decide for yourself.

Today's comedy ha-ha

A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"

Just when I had forgotten why life is worth living

Lest we forget all that is Charlie the Unicorn:



Now I feel much better.....

Thank you and good night!

Pre-Passover Jewish joke

A Jewish man and his wife, who is hard of hearing, are driving to the Catskills when they are stopped by a State Trooper and the following exchange ensues.

State Trooper, "Did you know you were speeding?"

Wife, "What?"

Husband, "He asks if knew I was speeding!"

State Trooper, "Let me see your driver's license."

Wife, "What?"

Husband, "He wants to see my driver's license!"

The State Trooper looks at the address and says, "So... you're from the Bronx? I once met THE MOST AWFUL WOMAN there."

Wife, "What?"

Husband, "He says he knows you!"

A day full of hope

April again, and a new baseball season is upon us. There are differences between April 2009 and Aprils of the recent past. I think there's reason to hope for a reasonably entertaining and satisfying season.

I can say this on April 5. Will I be saying the same thing on June 5?

So, what is different? Some minor stuff, and one critical, critical element. Allow me to elaborate.

I like this infield. A lot. The addition of ultra-prospect Elvis Andrus at SS, accompanied by Mike Young's move to 3B, and what should be a settled arrangement at 1B, solidifies things defensively. None of these guys are Tinker, Evers, or Chance, but, if the hype is to be believed, Andrus has a chance to star in his own poem and the whole bunch ought to improve over last year's butcher shop. The law of averages nearly ensures steadier fielding after last year's anti-clinic, right?

Offensively, the infield should be set for a pretty good, if not spectacular year. Young, Kinsler, Davis, and Saltalamacchia ought to produce some hits.

The outfield is OK, I think. I don't know that Andruw Jones has much left, but Rudy seems to think he's got plenty. I am still not sure if Rudy Jaramillio is Batting Cage Jesus or the most overrated dude to ever apply pine tar - if he's so great, how come this team hasn't hit with men in scoring position since the Clinton Administration? Either way, he seems to get some respect around the league, and if he says take a look at Jones, we probably ought to wait until at least early May before we run him out of town.

The biggest change, the biggest difference between today and the last 5 or 6 Opening Days is the state of the pitching staff. No, Walter Johnson and Cy Young have not returned from beyond the grave to don Ranger blue and red. We can look forward to mostly the same guys who have spared us to death over recent campaigns. However, for a change, we did not see a catastrophic injury in spring training. Shockingly, the Rangers start the season with the entire staff on the active roster.

This is a near-miracle. I mean, really. Not Parting of the Red Sea (how timely, yeah?), but pretty amazing.

Does this mean Millwood, Padilla, McCarthy, et al are going to throw strikes? No, that remains to be seen. But the fact they're available at the start of the season is beyond encouraging.

All in all, despite the 50-degree chill in the air (and the freeze warning for tonight - alas for my newly-planted snapdragons!), I would like to be fighting traffic on Collins today in an effort to catch me some Opening Day festivities!

Daily YouTube: Aircraft graveyard

In midst of the Arizona desert, there is AMARC, where military aircraft go to be mummified.

Electrical happy fun time

For your amusement: A gallery of the scariest electrical/telephone/television wiring lash-ups you have ever seen.

And you thought the spaghetti behind your TV was bad...

Daily YouTube: This was my dream last night

I knew I shouldn't have had that hot-fudge-and-anchovie sundae right before bed...

Daily YouTube: Random video from Sept 2001

I don't know about you, but I think America was at its best back in Sept 2001. A great deal has happened since then, but I think its important to look back and remember how we all felt then.

Daily YouTube: This is enough to send you on a 7-state killing spree

From the not-so-distant past: AIG TV commercials.





Put down the gun!

Daily YouTube: Apparently, I am gay

This song has been on a loop in my melon for like a day and a half now. It is clearly a sign that I have become gay.

From 1988: Boy Meets Girl - Waiting for a Star to Fall

Enjoy my gayness...

Matt Taibbi is my Hero (again)

Matt Taibbi has helped me make sense of why I should be so angry about the whole Economic Meltdown in his new article in Rolling Stone.

Read it and wonder how capitalism and democracy can co-exist for much longer.

NOW (more than ever)!

Do you feel that the shine has come off our Rock Star Pres?

I got the answer:



Nuff Said!

Detroit

A couple of tidbits regarding the disaster known as Detroit MI have caught my eye lately.

That Detroit has been in decline for decades is certainly not news. Back in the 80s, an effort at urban renewal, centered around Renaissance Center, bloomed in the downtown area, but nothing much came of it. Years of job losses, political corruption, mismanagement, and general decay have left the city an urban wasteland of epic proportions. While there are still affluent suburbs aplenty, the core is a disaster unequaled in the developed world.

A series of photos of abandoned buildings of all sorts was published recently published as a Time magazine photo essay. The only clean-up done in some of Detroit's once-stately hotels and other buildings has been done by looters. The pictures, taken by a couple of French photographers, are haunting.

But, out of this blight, something is emerging. A small group of artists have bought badly distressed housing for ridiculously low prices ($100 for a house and land?) and are renovating, wiring up to solar power, planting gardens, and making something out of less than nothing. It's reminiscent of the reemergence of Manhattan's SoHo and TriBeCa neighborhoods, where the avant garde began squatting in abandoned warehouses and factories and, over years and years, turned blight into a trendy, popping place-to-be.

We've seen similar efforts right here in Dallas - the West End, Deep Ellum, and Exposition Park spring to mind immediately. The degree of success has varied, and the long-term viability of all these areas is still somewhat in question, but the attempts have been made.

Will the same thing happen in Detroit? Hard to say. There are obvious, huge distinctions - as bad as SoHo was, it was still mere blocks from Midtown, which never decayed to the same extent. The devastation in Detroit may well be too far along to reverse.

Nevertheless, it is fascinating to watch an area die out, and few hardy souls attempt to bring it back.

Quality control. Or, um, not.

see more pwn and owned pictures

Funny picture

Um, Mr. President? I think you have some people who can do that for you...

Long-lost documentary looks at Neiman Marcus circa 1983

Dad, you might be interested in this one.

The Great Wilonsky posts on Unfair Park today regarding a late entry into the AFI International Film Festival (to be held in Dallas in a couple of weeks): A forgotten film by documentarian Frederick Wiseman, shot in 1983 and entitled The Store.

It turns out that Wiseman produced a four-hour doc on Neiman Marcus in it's heyday.

Now, this is of some note on general purposes. Neiman Marcus was, for many years, Dallas' major redeeming feature. As much as, and probably more than, that stupid TV show, NM symbolized the glitter of Dallas, and put it on the international map. This film captures NM towards the end of the "We Have a Marcus (Richard) In-House" years, before the company was bought, and watered down, by General Cinema. In those days, everyone who was anyone in this town did a stint as a salesperson or assistant buyer in the joint. As such, The Store is worth seeing by anyone and everyone who lived, or who wanted to live, in Dallas in the halcyon days of the mid-80s.

But there is more at work here than general purposes. In 1983, the elder Curmudgeon (Curmudgeon Emeritus, if you will) was at the height of his long run as NM's Executive VP of Just About Everything At One Time or Another, and yours truly was indulging in a bit of shameless nepotism, working in various menial, but highly educational and entertaining, positions in the underbelly of the company.

So, one would think that a lot of folks either he knew, or I knew, or both, would make an appearance in this one.

I doubt I'll make the show (it's on a Monday afternoon), but I might check it out on video...

Daily YouTube: Chimp on a Segway

No need for further comment, is there?

Daily YouTube: AT&T predicted the future

Remember these ads from 1993? They were right. It took longer than we wanted, but all this and more are here.

Monks Monk the Monkless (with Jesus)

A Little Bit of Sweetness Goes Straight To the Oven

Are Violent Video Games Preparing Kids For The Apocalypse

At least I no longer have to worry about the future we are leaving for my son.....

Swedish pointy-heads protest Israeli tennis

The anti-Israel Master Race in Sweden took to the streets today, battling police in an effort to interrupt an Israeli-Swedish tennis match.

A tennis match. What, they couldn't find a rhythmic gymnastics competition to disrupt?

The far left in Scandinavia is truly amazing. Blessed with a nearly homogeneous population, a wonderful little Socialist paradise of a welfare state, and a work ethic that makes the Australians look like Tom Peters, the Swedes (and the rest of the blonde-and-blue Nordics) are usually amongst the first to start pointing fingers at "injustice" wherever they can find it. I can only assume this is to assuage their feelings of complete impotence on the world stage. I mean, really; who the hell cares what Sweden thinks?

Here's an idea: Give the world something more useful than Ikea and Haagen-Dazs, and maybe we'll drum up some interest in your point of view. Oh, wait, I forgot Volvo. You got me there. I'll shut up now.

I don't know why the pointy-headed liberal Euro gets such a rise out of me, but they do, and without fail. Let's relocate Sabra and Shatila and a few of the other craphole-where-the-Arabs-dump-the-Palestinians-so-they-don't-have-to-really-deal-with-them camps up north, and then lets see what they have to say.

Effing hypocrites.

Tsvangirai's wife killed in car wreck, Zimbabwe PM injured

Zimbabwe's Prime Minister, Morgan Tsvangirai, and his wife, Susan, were involved in an auto accident earlier today in a rural part of the country. Susan Tsvangirai was killed, and the PM was injured.

Details are sketchy, but it appears a large truck was involved. According to the BBC, the driver of the truck was asleep at the wheel.

On the surface, this event has all the hallmarks of an authentic, tragic accident. Zimbabwe's decrepit road system, rampant drunk driving, and non-existent law enforcement make traveling by car moderately less risky than swimming laps in a pool of battery acid. Huge wrecks and fatalities are all-too-common on rural roadways, especially those in the more-densely populated eastern half of the country.

However, given Mugabe's track record, the "accident" angle cannot be taken at face value. That Tsvangirai himself was in the car at the time of the wreck makes everything about it suspicious. Mugabe and his vile, violent cronies stand to gain from this sort of unfortunate "accident", especially if Tsvangirai had been killed. He was not, but the loss of his wife of 30 years (and mother of his six children)is nearly as good from the ZANU perspective. Tsvangirai is, no doubt, personally devestated. There's every chance this blow causes him to leave public life entirely.

I hate to be cynical, but it's a mistake to put anything past Mugabe.

The fall of Citigroup, continued

More on (pun intended) the Citigroup debacle in a recent Economist article.

The gist of this one is that Citi was too big to manage. Anyone who has worked there could tell you that much. Whilst inside the belly of the beast in the early 2000s, it occurred to many of us that there was no way anyone could keep track of the behemoth wrought by Weill. With 300,000+ employees, operations scattered literally to the four corners of the world, languages, cultures, banking laws, customs, technologies, currencies, and controls of every stripe imaginable, Citi defied the imagination.

I went for months at a time without talking to anyone outside the company. Between our cash processing at Citibank in Delaware, our umpteen acquired portfolios in probably 20 states, our IT in NYC, our foreign operations in Canada and Puerto Rico, our nun-with-a-ruler auditors crawling over the entire operation like ants, and management EVERYwhere, I spent days, weeks, months on interminable conference calls, fighting for my little projects, fending off intrusive managers looking to validate their positions, auditors more concerned with methods than results, and an aversion to risk at all levels which bordered on psychosis.

We got very little actually done, but burned calories and brain cells at suicidal rates. Any minor success was often chalked up to the "even a broken clock is right twice a day" theory, rather than any talent or skill on the part of the victorious party.

It's no surprise to me that all sorts of illegal and bone-headed shenanigans were going on in the brokerage and mortgage lending areas. I submit that these are only the illegal and bone-headed shenanigans which came to light. Many more were occurring in less-sensitive areas or by crooks or bone-heads less ambitious or more skilled in covering their tracks.

Morale inside Citigroup, at least amongst those I worked with directly, was horrible and beaten down back in the days when Citi was a money factory. Now that the red ink is flowing in Zambezian torrents and the axe is swinging indiscriminately, I'm sure it's as much fun as a Dickens-era garment factory.

Thank the sweet, clean Maker of Us All I got out of there when I did!

I take no pleasure in this...

When I was at Citigroup (I left in 2003), we lamented the fact we could not get our stock price over $50 no matter what we did. In those days, the place was absolutely printing money, and Sandy Weill looked like the smartest man in the history of money.

Six years later, we get this (click the image if your eyes are as bad as mine)...



The Citi Never Sleeps, says the slogan. I bet they're losing some sleep these days.

How is this even possible? I am an optimist, but something like this shakes you to the core.

Funniest FailBlog post in a while

I love FailBlog. You do too. You just don't know it yet.


see more pwn and owned pictures

Daily YouTube: U2

Where the Streets Have No Name. Turn it up!

You are not a "cool dad"

Dudes who want to be "pals" with their kids, this one is for you. Yes, you with the pony-tail, the earring, and the Hawaiian shirt: Your kids think you are a dork.

According to the Daily Mail, Bono's daughters are mortified by him. If Bono (Bono, for God's sake!) can't pull it off, neither can you.

Uncle Bob turns 85, throws a big ol' bash

Comrade Bob Mugabe is throwing a quarter-million-dollar party in honor of his own 85th birthday.

While his population starves, dies of cholera (over 3,000 at last count), and struggles with billion-percent inflation, Big Bob decides it's time to par-tay!

And why wouldn't he? After all, he freed Zimbabwe from the evils of minority rule, didn't he?

Forget that was 30 years ago. Forget that he started whacking his opposition and their families about 90 seconds after the transfer of power was complete. Forget that he has dismantled an agriculture system that once fed sub-Saharan Africa to the point where it's own population is dying in droves. Forget that he has presided over the decimation of what had been the best and brightest education, health care, and economic system in the region.

Forget all that heinous crap, because, you know, it's been fabricated by the Western media anyway. If Zimbabwe has any problems (not that it does, mind you), they are the results of Britain's attempts to recolonize.

Gee, I hope this doesn't sound too bitter...

The Ministry of Silly Names

The phrase "What an unfortunate name" has been a running joke around the CIT Compound for years. Now, thanks to be Beeb, we have the authoritative list of truly unfortunate names.

How would you like to go thru life with a name like Bill Board? Annette Curtain? Stan Still? Would you go to a dentist named Les Plack?

I get all giggly just thinking about it!

Long overdue Mavericks rant

I have held my ire with the little Mavericks all season. I figured they just weren't worth the effort, and I still feel that way. However, last night's 93-76 debacle in San Antonio was so bad, so disheartening, so indicative of what this team has become, that I just can't help myself.

The Spurs were without Ginobilli and, at the last minute, Duncan. So, if you're the opposition, you look at the Spurs without two of their Big Three and you ask yourself, "Who do we have to stop?"

Need a minute to answer that one? Of course you don't! And neither does Rick Carlisle or anyone in a Maverick uni. You clamp down on Tony Parker and dare the spares to beat you. Elementary, right?

Except Parker goes off for 37. He could have had 50 with no problem except he started passing before shooting and got the spares some buckets.

If you're going to make any sort of run in the West, you HAVE to POUNCE on teams like the Spurs when they are depleted. You cannot get whacked by 17.

The window is closed. Everything the organization has done since Don Nelson left is open to second-guessing. It was a heck of a run, but the errors have all come home to roost. The Mavs had the championship won in Miami, then let it slip away. The emergency alarm rang the next year, when the Mavs had a super-human regular season then got swept by Golden State - that's when major changes should have been made. Nothing was done, and the fun has been pretty much over since then.

So, now what? I don't know. The options all stink, as this team doesn't have a draft pick worth a damn for the next few years. Free agency, esp the vaunted class of 2010? I suppose something can be done there, but what big-time free agent has signed here? I mean, I thought Cuban's largess with the players was supposed to have everyone lining up to be a Maverick. Sure doesn't seem like it's worked out that way, does it?

I am disappointed, disheartened, and disillusioned. I'm a Dallas sports fan, so I'm getting used to it.

Good economic news, I think

President Obama, today, outlined his plan to deal with the mortgage mess and the housing crisis.

The good news - he thinks he's found a solution. The bad news - it involves arson.

- Jay Leno

And while we're on the subject of bits...

Nuclear-grade duct tape. Not kidding.

PS Read the product reviews. They are a double giggle.

The greatest Web site in the history of ever

If you have not checked out Pandora Radio, you need to.

A streaming music site which puts to work the findings of The Music Genome Project, Pandora takes music you like and extrapolates it into more music it thinks you'll like. Whatever taxonomy they came up with, it frickin' works. I am amazed at the songs this thing dredges up - old favorites I haven't heard in years, new stuff I haven't heard before but like immediately, and the Petey All-Time Top 100 in a commercial-free endless stream.

You can read more about the artist, album, or song; find similar artists or songs; continue to refine your "station"; create new stations; or just sit back and let the sheer awesomeness of it wash over you for hours on end.

Best part? The free app for Super-Phone, which works equally well on Wi-Fi or the cell network.

THIS is technology you can use! Check it out!

Daily YouTube: Is this a bit?

I think Joaquin Phoenix is pulling an elaborate, Sascha Baron Cohen-style prank on all of us.

Regardless, whether Phoenix is legitimately this whacked or not, last night's VERY uncomfortable interview shows David Letterman in all his late night genius.

Good, awkward fun!

Israeli elections: And you think OUR system is screwed up?

Tuesday's general election in Israel has resulted in the biggest political mess in the country's turbulent political history.

The short version is: Kadima (center) won 28 Knesset seats, Likud (right) won 27, upstart Yisrael Beiteinu (waaaayyyyyy right) won 15, and venerable old Labor (left) has 13.

A party has to have 61 seats to form its own government.

Obviously, we are in for a right-leaning coalition of some variety. Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni (Kadima) may be able to pull a workable coalition out of her hat, but the smart money says she will be stonewalled by Avigdor Lieberman (head of Yisrael Beiteinu), and it will fall to Benjamin Netanyahu of Likud to rally the righties and take over the Prime Minister's office.

This ain't good news, folks.

Netanyahu is a blowhard. He's a snakeoil salesman who will escalate the confrontation with the Palestinians, probably piss off Obama, and won't get us one step closer to a solution. He's going to be beholden to Shas, the ultra-Orthodox, ultra-right party, as well as to former protege Lieberman, who's fascisti are more secular but no less fanatical. Abbas is now a lame duck, as the Palestinian populace will likely react to Netanyahu's confrontationalism by swinging more towards Hamas. Just as Iran was able to make W. look like an idiot (not that hard to do, I'll admit), they will run circles around Netanyahu, as his ideology leaves him with few options.

Oh Ariel, how we miss you! Now the Olmert chickens have come home to roost. Even successful prosecution of the recent adventure in Gaza cannot erase the dissatisfaction of the 2006 Lebanon/Hezbollah fiasco.

All this doom and gloom is predicated on Netanyahu being able to form a government. He may not. Israeli politics are so splintered, so muddy, and so crowded with parties, it's become almost unworkable. Livni was given the opportunity to form a government back in the summer and was unable to do so. Power is so fragmented that no one is able to effectively marshal a majority. There have been five general elections in the past 10 years, and no one has the moral or political clout to move their agenda forward in any meaningful way.

What's the answer here? I mean, short of Ariel Sharon rising miraculously from his vegetative state and retaking the reins? Hell, I have no idea. The Israelis have to sort this for themselves. But sort it they must. This is no time for political chaos, and yet that's exactly what we have.

Yikes!

Daily YouTube: The most out-of-control car chase ever filmed

From To Live and Die in LA, before William Petersen grew that friggin' beard. Hang on to your keisters, boys and girls!

Think before you speak...

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

The doctor exclaims, "What happened to you?!"

"I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife," the man tells the doctor, "when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball stuck right in the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, as I was standing there holding up the tail, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

Gay-Rod did 'roids with the Rangers?

I am shocked, shocked!, to hear Alex "Gay-Rod" Rodriguez apparently tested positive for steroid use back in 2003 when he was with the Rangers.

It sounds like the late 90's/early 00's Ranger clubhouse was the world's busiest pharmacy. Palmeiro, Ivan Rodriguez, Juan Gonzalez, and, of course, Canseco, and God-knows who else, were all apparently juicing like crazy, so it's not exactly the biggest surprise ever that Gay-Rod was following suit.

There's no way we're ever going to get a clear understanding of who was juicing and who wasn't in those days. It's sad to say, but every record and statistic for the ten-year period 1995-2005 needs to be questioned. And yet the American fan (and I include myself in this category) looks forward to spring training with optimism and enthusiasm.

It's enough to turn one into a cynic.

Art is where you find it

Something you don't see every day: Watermelon carvings.

Labor unrest in China

Interesting (VERY interesting) piece in the Sunday Times (the Times of London, that is) regarding labor unrest in China.

For some time, my impression of China has been that of a huge, and rapidly expanding, middle class, a country on the upswing, a super-hot economy propelled, in large part, by a ridiculously undervalued currency, and a government set to do whatever it needed to maintain a huge trade surplus.

All these things may be true. But they don’t tell the whole story.

According to the Times, the low wages you would expect in China are a LOT lower than we thought, the dreadful working conditions are a LOT more dreadful, and the “worker’s paradise” is far more oppressive and far less secure than the central government would like for you to believe. And, with the slowdown in the world economy, even these awful measures are not enough to prevent huge job losses. The Chinese equivalent of our Holiday Season is just now wrapping up, and a significant number of migrant laborers are going to return to their workplaces to find they no longer have jobs.

This is leading to a great deal of worker unrest, and a great deal of unionization activity. The Chinese central government is no fan of labor unions – it’s the Worker’s Paradise, for God’s sake, why would anyone need a labor union? – and is clamping down on this activity. Hard.

No one is saying its civil war, or that civil war is looming. And no one is saying China is on the road to ruin. It’s just interesting, to me at least, that the Chinese are not immune to this stuff anymore than the West was a hundred years ago. This may very well be the Chinese century, but they are not omnipotent either.

Daily YouTube: Ahmadinejad and his firm grip on the truth

This is old news, but is a good illustration of how reality and those pesky "facts" just don't seem to enter into the equation in Iran. Giggle or cry - you'll react in some way...

Ahmadinejad is still a jerk

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has made his reply to recent, somewhat warmer overtures made by the Obama administration.

Not content to say something like, "We look forward to hearing what President Obama has to say" or anything else that would be, you know, constructive, Ahmadinejad instead insists on a US apology for past transgressions against Iran.

Nutty Mahmoud is up for reelection later this year. It would appear he is staking out his position as The Guy Who Will Stand Up To The Great Satan, regardless of what's on the table. Does that sell well enough in Iran to overcome Ahmadinejad's failed policies at home? Is the average Iranian more inclined to wish "Death to America" than look for actual compromise and improved relations?

I guess we'll find out in June. In the meanwhile, Ahmadinejad is doing nothing to change his image as the world's biggest a-hole.

Another day, another Middle East diatribe...

I don't know about you, but I am beginning to suffer from tired-head at the mere mention of Gaza.

What's left to discuss, rant about, or debate? It seems very clear to me that Hamas played it's usual cards - hiding weapons in apartment buildings and schools, using civilians as human shields, trumpeting Israeli "atrocities" from the rooftops, whilst doing everything in their power to make more of those "atrocities" occur. The depravity and cynicism displayed by Hamas and their fellow-travelers is staggering, vomitous, and pretty much expected by now.

Truly, there is no workable compromise possible with these lying murderers.

So, I'm reading They Must Be Stopped by Brigette Gabriel. If you have not read this, I think you probably should. Not because every word in it is true, or that it contains any real enlightenment. But because it makes an argument that I have wondered about for a long time: Islam, according to Gabriel, is basically about conquest and subjugation of every other religion on the planet.

First things first: I have some basic suspicions whenever someone indicts an entire (major) religion as intolerant and bent on destruction of all competing religions. Jews have long experience with this sort of accusation (Protocols of the Elders of Zion, anyone?) and we, in particular, should be very hesitant to believe blanket, negative generalizations.

With that disclaimer in place, I have been waiting since at least 2001 (at least!) for a Muslim scholar to tell me, in specific terms, how AQ, Hamas, Hezbollah, etc differ from mainstream Islamic thought. If such a discussion or dissertation has been put forth, I have not seen it. Seems like a well-written piece of this nature would get a lot of play, wouldn't it?

If such a document, in fact, does NOT exist, why not? Is it because AQ et al really don't differ significantly from mainstream Islamic thought?

Hell, I don't know. I really don't.

However, I can't help but think our stifling political correctness prevents us from asking tough questions along these lines. Serious questions about religion (except for Christianity, I've noticed) are verboten in public discourse - ask a serious question about Islam's true inclination to participate in the peaceful co-existence dance party, and you get shouted down by all sorts of well-meaning pinheads.

I guess my point with all this stream-of-consciousness is this: Is the typical Ahmed-on-the-street willing to accept Israel's existence in exchange for some guarantee that the IDF isn't going to drive a Merkava or ten thru his front door every once in a while?

If the answer is yes, then this will someday pass, and it's just a matter of time. If the answer is no, then what? If we're going to have an Israel (and we ARE going to have an Israel, we have to), then is this the price? Does the IDF have to go flatten civilian areas every couple of years? Do we have to endure CNN telling us how evil Israel is? The Euros turning red in the face over another "atrocity" visited upon the poor, defenseless, innocent Palestinians?

It's this simple. If the Palestinians want peace, the situation can be resolved. If they will be satisfied with nothing short of the destruction of Israel, well, we can recycle the headlines from the last 30 days for the next 30 years.

Duelling noise

I am catching up on the news today whilst waiting for the children at Sunday school.

So here I am at good old Temple Shalom, in the Adult Lounge (which I've always wondered about - should houses of worship really have an area referred to as an "Adult Lounge"?). On the left, the Israeli Dance class has the latest Top 40 from Tel Aviv turned up to 11 on the boom box. Across the way, Rabbi Paley has the next crop of Bar and Bat Mitzvah kids on the bima and is checking them out on the process of speaking thru the sanctuary's PA, and over to the right the Brotherhood has some speaker from the Trinity River Project giving a presentation over the PA in the Social Hall.

To combat all this, I'm doing the logical thing - turning Aerosmith's first album up on Super-Phone and rocking out! "Make It", baby!

My head may yet explode this morning!

Daily YouTube: What happens when you don't get enough sleep

Eight hours, boys and girls. Every night. Or this is what happens:

Giant Robots -- Come On, You Love Them

My son and I were talking the other day about the cartoons we use to watch together when he was much younger.

This one is/was/will always be

EPIC!

Daily YouTube: Cosby's Fiesta Bowl-winning TD

Here is the first play in Texas' march to the 2009 National Championship:

BCS National Champeenship

It's 7-7 at halftime, which means I have to stick with it. I have not got anywhere near enough sleep this week - I was hoping for a blowout!

My two grumpy, sleep-deprived observations:

1. I'm sorry, but marching bands are gay. The OU band's "Pinball Wizard" had me torn between laughter and vomit.

2. U of F's "When did you become a Gator" ad campaign is extremely silly.

And, just to complete my curmudgeonly misery, Crabtree's last-minute TD against Texas is the Pontiac Game Changing Performance of the Year. Dang it.

Texas 24 - Ohio State 21

I'm naming my next child Colt Quan Elkin.

Daily YouTube: I can't get this song out of my head

Coldplay - Viva La Vida.

This thing has been on a loop in my melon for like three days now.



This one too.

John Cash - Ring of Fire.

India has some hot sports opinions

Buried on about page 9 of today's DMN is one heck of a shocking story. Apparently, India has solid proof that "state actors" on the Pakistani side were involved in planning and execution of the recent Mumbai fireworks. Further, the Indian Home Minister will be bringing said proof over with him when he visits the US next week.

India and Pakistan make me more nervous than anyone this side of Iran. Two nuclear-armed countries, one with a barely-in-control central government and a HUGE fundamentalist problem, the other allegedly the "world's largest democracy" with a huge chip on its shoulder; it's surprising they haven't gone to the mat yet.

My initial reaction to this one was along the lines of "No way the Pakis are this crazy." I mean, they couldn't have been involved in that mess, could they? Then I think back to the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, the continued support of the Taliban by the ISI, and the inability of the new government to get a grip on the western provinces, and suddenly its not so hard to believe.

I wonder what this "proof" is, and if we'll get to see it.