Friday, September 15, 2006

Football Friday - Man, I Need Some Sleep Edition

An 0400 wakeup, an 0630 flight to Austin, and a full day of fun with the CEO of the new company, and I am beat. However, a Friday is not complete without a weekend football preview. We've got some outstanding college matchups and the usual NFL early-season sorting out, so let's get to it...


LSU @ Auburn - Back in the Pat Dye/Bo Jackson days, I was a huge Auburn fan. I'm still kinda partial to them. They've got a big test in LSU this weekend, but I think they're up to it. LSU gets 3, and I think Auburn has no trouble covering it.

Michigan @ Notre Dame - This seems like a game that should be played in mid-November on a grey, rainy, 35 degree day, not on the 3rd Sat in Sept. Regardless, I'm starting to think the Irish may have a little something.

Nebraska @ USC - For some reason, everyone but Vegas is giving the Cornhuskers a chance. Uh, I don't think so, buddy. I would go USC, even if it means giving up 19 points. Don't f*** with Vegas, baby.

Florida @ Tennessee - This is my Redneck Game of the Week. The Vols get 3.5, and I would take some of that. I think those nutty boys in orange win the game. In the much-anticipated pre-game festivities, I like the Tennessee varsity demolition derby team to take their counterparts from Gainesville, four fenders to two. Take that one to the bank.

Clemson @ Florida St - Runner-up for Redneck Game of the Week, this one holds very little attraction, as the Seminoles appear to suck this year. You might tune in to count the pairs of bib overalls you see, or perhaps play America's favorite party game - Name That Inbreeding.

OU @ Oregon - I have my doubts about the Sooners. This game should answer some questions. I think OU travels a long way for nothing, but I would love to be wrong.

A&M vs. Army @ San Antonio - If I were an Aggie, I would enter the Witness Protection Program out of shame over my team's non-conf schedule. This sort of scheduling really ought to be against the law. God is watching, Aggies. As punishment, you will get blown out by Baylor. Just you wait.

Texas @ Rice - The 'Horns are exempt from the above criticism for obvious reasons: They had the stones to schedule Ohio State last week. A patsy like Rice should be just what the doctor ordered to get Texas on track for 11-1.

Boston University vs. John Brady's laundry bill - A credit to scholarship spares everywhere, John won the honorary Cleanest Terrier Uniform of the Season at least twice (1983 and 1984). Congratulations, John, from the Sleeper Hall 4th Floor Welcoming Committee.


New England @ Jets - The most-heated rivalry on the East Coast will once again pit Ace vs Joe in a San Diego sports bar. Keep it clean, boys. The Jets get 6, but it won't help them.

Pittsburgh @ Jacksonville - The Jags are only getting one and a half. They are not that good, folks. They may have looked impressive last week, but they were playing the friggin' Cowboys, for God's sake. A 14 point Steeler victory will tell us a lot about Pittsburgh, Jacksonville, and Dallas.

Arizona @ Seattle - Since when does Seattle get an extra exhibition game?

Cleveland @ Cincinnati - Two places I never want to visit. The Bengals may actually cover the 10.5.

Washington @ Dallas - Two ancient QBs, two faltering offenses, and two reasonably decent defenses - this may be the first 0-0 tie ever recorded in the history of the NFL. I'm SHOCKED to see the Redskins getting 6 - it appears even Vegas is buying into the Cowboys' fraud.

Comedic Value Game of the Week - Finally, a clear-cut winner. St. Louis @ SF is probably against the Geneva Convention. Here is one compelling argument against buying the NFL Sunday Ticket.

Go (insert your team here)!

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