Today's make-me-gag headline on MSNBC: "Rolling sneakers blamed for rise in kid injuries".
It appears my daughter's Heelys are going to kill her. Or at least leave her maimed.
Someone needs to help me out here. What are kids supposed to do? They can't go outside alone, and if they can manage to get mom or dad to stand outside and watch them play, they can only ride their bikes when decked out in a full set of medieval plate armor. Same thing for skateboards or scooters, if the parent's are insane and/or unthinking enough to provide either of those death traps. They can't play army because they can't have guns, they can't go down to the creek because the water's polluted and the molesters apparently all live in caves along creek beds. They can't play unorganized sports because they don't have the proper safety gear and they might hurt someone's feelings by picking a kid last. And organized sports – too many practices can hurt you, and there are all those a-hole parents around too.
They can't play video games because they're all too violent. They can't go online because the sickos are going to prey on them. Barbie is too thin, GI Joe is too macho, and Tinkertoys have too many small parts. How about a book? Hell no, kid. You need more exercise.
Oh, and make sure you enjoy your childhood.
ENOUGH! The things I enjoyed as a kid – playing "Emergency" on my bicycle (no helmet, thank you), neighborhood baseball games, "French Resistance" (just a thought: is that an oxymoron?) until all hours of the night, exploring the creek at the end of the street, etc etc – all would be labeled "dangerous" now, and my parents would probably be in jail for letting me do any of them.
Listen, I'm all for a "No Heelys" rule in school, in the mall, and maybe a few other places. Basically, if you can't skateboard somewhere, you probably shouldn't be Heeling yourself all over the place either. But outside, when there isn't a crowd to weave through and knock over, why not? My kid has become pretty good on them and it looks like she's having a blast with them.
Kids are going to play, and probably fall down, and likely get scrapes, cuts, and maybe broken bones. Maybe worse. But real high-drama is unlikely. Fun is a near-certainty.
We had it right when we were kids: Parents ruin everything.
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