Didn't catch this on Thurs night, but fortunately, Uncle Barky (TV Ed on the link list to your left) scours the airwaves for us night and day.
The Late Late Show's Craig Ferguson - who is, by the way, an absolute riot - has been writing to state and local officials across the US, requesting citizenship on their state or town. His rationale: If he's granted citizenship in enough locales, he'll become an American citizen by default.
Trust me, it's funnier when he says it.
Anyway, Ferguson heard back from Texas gov Rick Perry (known in some places as Governor Good Hair), who responded with a pretty funny note. This is not exactly keeping in character with Perry's usual mildly bewildered, too-tight-for-his-collar, I-have-no-laugh-reflex demeanor.
The note:
"Dear Craig,
There was a time when we granted the status of Texan to just about anyone, including criminals, drunks and Tennesseans. Today our standards are much higher.
"We need to know first of all if you have a gun rack on your car -- and we don't mind gun racks on girlie cars, which I suspect you drive.
"Secondly, we need to know if, upon approaching roadkill, you drive on by, or stop and throw it in the back so you can skin it and hang the pelt on your wall.
"Third, we need to make sure you have never, and never would, deface the Alamo (as some celebrity rock star with a bad British accent once did through the release of bodily fluids.) Editor's note: Legend has it that Ozzy Osbourne did the peeing.
"Lastly, we need to know if you are willing to stand guard on our border, and prevent the entry of illegals from Arkansas, Oklahoma, Louisiana and New Mexico.
"Your citizenship as a Texan depends on your answers to these questions, and whether you can dip tobacco and eat chili at the same time.
"Sincerely yours,
"Rick Perry, Governor."
Where the heck did that come from?
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