Does BU need football?

As readers of this blog may know, my alma mater, Boston University, killed it's D1-AA football program in 1997. BU had about zero football tradition, and games at Nickerson Field were sparsely attended at best. However, I do have fond memories of fall Saturdays, the mighty Terriers taking the field against arch-rivals like UNH and Maine. Good times.

Brian Roach, in today's Freep, attempts to make the point that a dominant hockey program makes up for the absence of a mediocre football program. He reminds us of BU's multiple National Championships, 2009 being the most recent, bitter rivalry with that other school right out the B branch of the Green Line, and Beanpot triumphs. He doesn't mention, but could have, the semi-household names like Eruzione and Craig, Drury and Tkachuk, and, of course, Jack Parker.

Well, I'm not so sure. I have some great Beanpot memories, sure. One of the great sports moments of my life occurred at the Beanpot. I some really good times at Brown Arena (the Rathole On Babcock St). Scott Shaunessy was sorta fun to drink with at Father's Too on Beacon Street. I mean, it was nice being around a superior hockey program, no doubt.

But college hockey is a fringe sport. It's not even on the same map as college football or college basketball. It's lumped in with other third-tier sports like baseball, soccer, swimming, etc. All very worthwhile pursuits, don't get me wrong. But they just aren't the same as the biggies.

I have NOTHING in my experience to rival Game Day in Austin, or the atmosphere of Cameron Indoor or the Dean Dome. I've never been in an arena with the hoisted jerseys of Walton and Kareem, or where there are 100,000 people wearing maize and blue.

Now, of course, that's not to say BU could ever achieve that sort of success in the big sports. BU football was a very average 1-AA program. There was no history or tradition. The most spectacular players to ever roll thru Nickerson, guys like Jim Jensen and Bill Brooks, wound up with very solid, but unspectacular, NFL careers. A guy like Paul Lewis, who set every rushing record the school has, couldn't catch on with the Patriots as a free agent when the Patriots were terrible.

Hockey is all well and good. And it is nice to be able to say "I went to BU, home of the hockey National Champions of 2009". And it's probably better to have a dominant hockey team than it is to have a spare football team.

That was a long rant for not much payoff. I guess the moral of the story is its better to be really good at something sorta spare than it is to be really spare at something sorta good.

It probably also pays to not do too many stream-of-thought blog posts late at night!

Stay sportsy, my friends

Oh so much to talk about here in Sportsville. I have been neglectful. But no more. Onward!


Rangers

Our formerly-red-shoed Rangers have done the near-impossible this season. They have kept us entertained past the start of the regular NFL season. This has never, to my thinking, happened before.

So much to be excited about regarding this team! Young pitchers who throw hard as hell, and who seem to know how to pitch as well. Young position players who can play their positions, hit reasonably well, run the bases (some blazingly fast). A nice mix of veterans to provide some wisdom.

And, at the head of it all, the Old-Skool Brother, Ron Washington.

Can it be? It's late Sept and I really should be back in school. Er, no. Not what I meant. It's late Sept and and we are still waxing rhapsodic about the Texas Rangers? We are. This has been the most entertaining baseball season I have experienced since the Red Sox of 1986.

Thank you, Nolan Ryan, Jon Daniels, and the rest. If Big Dumb Tom can sell the team to someone with some dough, next year may be even better.


University of Texas football

I've got the same feeling I had at the start of the season in 2005. Remember, I didn't start to get totally on board until after the Ohio State game that year. This year's schedule holds no similar out-of-conference test, so it will be Oct 17th's annual showdown with Oklahoma before I start to mention the "C" word (not THAT "C" word, you pervert) around here. But the cards seem to be falling into the right places, don't they?

By the way, did you see McCoy complete that pass to Shipley aboard a boat going 45 mph on the telecast this past weekend? Whoever thought that little stunt up needs to be keelhauled. Have you ever tried to stand in a small boat at speed? It ain't easy, and I thought it would not have taken much to knock Shipley right over the side. Maybe he was strapped in or something, but, man, I cringed!

At any rate, this season is off to a good start. That's all I'm saying right now.


Cowboys

Um, oh dear. Uh-oh? Maybe? I dunno.

I missed the opener against Tampa Bay, but it seems like it was a good one. However, I think we're seeing Tampa Bay is one of the worst teams in the league.

The Giants are clearly one of the best, and the Cowboys did seem to have the upper hand throughout the game. But...

But what's up with this Wade Phillips defense? There has been minimal pressure, even when they bring six guys. What happened to the swarming, scary-ass defense we saw at times down the stretch last year? Were Greg Ellis and Kevin Burnett really that important? I will certainly go on record as saying Kevin Burnett is a MUCH more attractive option than Bobby Carpenter. How is that guy still on this team?

The Cowboy defense looked a lot like it did in the doldrums of the Pear-Shaped Football Genius' tenure - unable to make a stop, unable to make tackles, and unable to get off the field when it really matters.

But what's up with Romo? Did he just have a one-game brain fart? Or his inconsistency becoming a consistent? It's feast or famine with this guy - he doesn't have many so-so games. And history is beginning to suggest the bigger the stage, the more likely he's going to toss out a clunker. When do we call it a trend?

The running game looks to be, potentially, something serious. Barber is hurt already, which isn't good. But it seems mild, and I thought the Cowboys could have had 300 yards plus if they had just kept running it.

The new kickoff guy seems to have worked out. The last time a Cowboy reached the end zone off a tee, he was holding a 1-iron, so it was good to see a few kickoffs get into the neighborhood. Still, a punter and two kickers? Wouldn't you really rather have another left tackle on the roster?

And let's talk for just a moment about the colossal, shiny Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, shall we? I absolutely LOVE The Ticket's nickname for it: The Death Star. I hope it sticks. It's perfect. In a world turning more Idiocracy by the minute, the Death Star only speeds us on our way to a Costco world. Sure, its a showplace. Sure, its going to get TONS of positive press. But do we really need 100,000 people crammed into a stadium to watch a football game on the world's largest TV screen? Personally, I am embarrassed by the place. It's too much for me. And it's in Arlington.

That last bit did sound a bit good-old-days-ish, didn't it? Maybe a bit curmudgeonly? Well, too bad. Look at the title bar of this blog, you ninny.

And now that I have managed to disparage both Jerry Jones and my readership, I bid you a fond farewell.

Aloha, Spicolli.

Daily YouTube: Cosby's Fiesta Bowl-winning TD

Here is the first play in Texas' march to the 2009 National Championship:

BCS National Champeenship

It's 7-7 at halftime, which means I have to stick with it. I have not got anywhere near enough sleep this week - I was hoping for a blowout!

My two grumpy, sleep-deprived observations:

1. I'm sorry, but marching bands are gay. The OU band's "Pinball Wizard" had me torn between laughter and vomit.

2. U of F's "When did you become a Gator" ad campaign is extremely silly.

And, just to complete my curmudgeonly misery, Crabtree's last-minute TD against Texas is the Pontiac Game Changing Performance of the Year. Dang it.

Texas 24 - Ohio State 21

I'm naming my next child Colt Quan Elkin.

Saturday morning scattershooting

Scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to Tony "Thrill" Hill...

- Some poor bastard got "Cincinnatti Who'd" at a Wal-Mart in Valley Stream NY yesterday. Then the crowd got pissed because the store was closing. Suburban NY is not for the faint-of-heart, man.

- Speaking of sorry, sorry humans, those a-holes who shot up Mumbai seem to have finally lost. I guess blasting away in the sub-continent allows Muslim fanatics to check a lot of items off their lists: Jews? Check. Western tourists? Check. Cow-worshipping heathens? Check. Sowing third-world panic? Check. What a bonanza, huh?

- Around the Horn of Africa, Somali pirates are still at it. Most recent victim is a chemical tanker. I just find it hard to believe these characters are as effective as they are. How do a bunch of frickin' goat herders in speedboats capture a super-tanker? Shouldn't the tanker driver be able to floor it and keep going? Boarding a ship in-motion on the high seas is not an easy thing to do, or so I've heard. If said ship is doing 15 knots and throwing up a massive wake, it seems like it would be pretty near impossible, wouldn't it. I guess the threat of an RPG through the windshield is somewhat intimidating, but those things aren't easy to fire from a bobby little speedboad either. Just don't get it.

- In yet more happy Africa news, Nigerians are killing each other yet again. This time it's over which religous-affiliated political party won elections. Good thing the world economy doesn't depend on Nigeria for oil or anything like that. Er, wait a minute...

- On a much lighter note, there's yet ANOTHER monster college football game in the Big 12 tonight. OU vs. Okie State has all sorts of possible ripple effects, and the entire south Plains will be tuned in, including usn's at the CIT Compound. This season, already the greatest ever, just keeps getting better.

Boomer. Sooner.

Wow, what an ass-kicking THAT was. I expected Oklahoma to win, and win convincingly, but I never imagined 65-21.

If we assume everyone wins out, I think you have to take the Sooners for the Big 12 Championship game, and the National Title. I hate to say it, but I just don't see how Texas squeaks into things now. That was too big a whuppin'.

What a bummer, too. I was looking forward to a good game. Not a total snoozer like that.

45-35!

Number 5 Texas beat number 1 OU convincingly today. Texas' resounding 45-35 victory puts the 'Horns firmly in the driver's seat for the Big 12 championship and allows us to use "national championship" and "Mack Brown" in the same sentence for the first time since the Vince Years.

Next week's showdown with Chase Daniel and the number 3 Missouri Tigers (assuming they take care of business against Okie State tonight) looms huge. Is there any doubt where EPN's College Game Day will be on Oct 18?

And, not least, we can start using the terms "Heisman Trophy" and "Colt McCoy" in the same sentence as well.

VERY exciting!

Football Friday: Texas-OU, 'nuff said

The best weekend of college football is upon us, with many lesser lights also worth a mention. Let's get to it, shall we?

And yes, I know the logo is two years old. It's the best I can find.

Onward!

Colleges

Oklahoma St (+14) @ Missouri
Big stuff in a small town (yes, I've been to Columbia, and I don't recommend it), this one ought to be a shootout. Okie State is not bad at all, but the Tigers have it goin' on. I like Missouri to win, probably by double digits, but I don't know about 14. I'll take the points.

Penn State @ Wisconsin (+6)
Would someone please bury the Nittany Lions? I am so beaten by those third-grade unis and worn-out Joe Pa. Enough. Gimme the Badger Badger Badger Badgers.

Kansas St @ A&M (+3)
I don't think anyone in Vegas has seen the Aggies this year. They barely beat a terrible Army team. Kansas State is no Great friggin' Power, but surely they can beat the lame-o Aggies by more than 3, can't they?

Arizona State (+28) @ USC
It ain't easy being a Sun Devil these days. It probably never is - Tempe is a dump, although Mill Ave has its charms. Regardless, they are a long way from competitive. I wonder how USC will play out the year, but a demolition job here will be a good first step towards redeeming themselves.

Tennessee (+12) @ Georgia
Look no further; here is your Redneck Game of the Week. The SEC has slipped, and Tennessee's demise has been a big part of it. I still love the Big Gay Orange, but Phil is going to have to start paying his players a lot more if he's gonna get competitive again. Georgia mops the floor with the Vols, with a big "wa-hooo" echoing through the empty heads in the stands.

U LA La @ North Texas (+21.5)
Todd Dodge is inquiring about getting his mail forwarded back to Southlake. Poor guy.

OU vs Texas (+6.5)
The Biggie. I can't wait for this one. The Sooners are the better team, Stoops is the better coach, and the stars seem to be in alignment for OU to win and win convincingly. However, Colt McCoy is a one-man army these days. I like the Longhorn defense, although I will readily admit they have seen NOTHING like Bradford & Co. They say never bet with your heart. But, I'm not betting. I'm only running off at the mouth. I like the 'Horns.

Boston University vs the overly large head of Michael Dukakis
I was there during the "Massachusetts Miracle". I knew Lloyd Bentsen and you, sir, are no Lloyd Bentsen. Wait, what?

Pros

Jacksonville (+3.5) @ Denver
Hmm. I like both teams. I really like Cutler, and wish good things for him. However, I think Jacksonville has more. I'll take the Jags.

St Louis (+13.5) @ Washington
The Rams are so bloody awful, but a new coach may give them a bit of life. This is potentially a trap for the Redskins, and I would LOVE to see them step on their weenies. My usual rule is to take 10 points or more when they're given, and I won't break that rule here.

Oakland (+7.5) @ New Orleans
I don't get this. The Rams get nearly two touchdowns at Washington, but the Raiders only get seven and a half at New Orleans? The Saints showed me something against the Vikings the other night, despite the turnovers. Seven and a half is nowhere near enough. Give me the Saints.

NYG @ Cleveland (+7.5)
I keep waiting for Eli to turn into Eli. It will happen. Here? Good a place as any. Go Browns!

Dallas @ Arizona (+5)
The Cowboys will come out and steamroll the Cardinals to silence all the whiners back in Dallas. Adam Jones will have three interceptions and a punt return for a touchdown. All will be right in Cowboyland again next week. Really.

Comedic Value Game of the Week
Not as many choices as usual. This week, usual-CVGW-suspect Detroit is at Minnesota, and the presence of Adrian Petersen gives that game at least a little cred. From here, it looks like Cincinnati @ NYJ is the biggest battle of the inept to be found. The only question is which junior high unis will the Jets be sporting?

Go (insert your team here)!

Football Friday (sorta): I'm Not Quite Dead Yet edition

Oh, what a wacky week it's been since last I posted. I won't bore you with blather. Suffice it to say, little CIT has been pushed WAAAAYYYYY down the priority list for some time now.

However, we are back, and ready for a bit o' prognostication:

Colleges

TCU (+18.5) @ OU
This has the feel of an upset weekend to me. USC gets knocked off on Thurs, and it's just that time of year. I'm not going to predict a TCU victory, but I do think they cover.

Alabama (+7) @ Georgia
Oh, what a treat. A huge rivalry, a clash of SEC titans, AND Redneck Game of the Week all in one. Go out to the still and get TWO Mason-jars-full for this! I think the Tide wins this one, "Men in Black" or not. Go climb that there teler-phone pole, ring up Earlene and her kids, and holler "Roll Tide!" as loud as you can.

Tennessee (+6.5) @ Auburn
Another SEC biggie, and runner-up for Redneck Game of the Week. This one may be even more rural, but it's not as good a game. Auburn wins and covers, but I'm tuning in for this one.

Colorado (+5.5) @ Florida State (well, its in Jacksonville)
You know, the Big XII has, quietly, become the second best football conference in the land. This isn't as much of a mis-match as it sounds. I sorta like Colorado to go out there and defend some honor for the rest of the conference. An upset? Maybe. A dog covering? I think so.

Army (+27) @ A&M
Army may be bad, but A&M has shown nobody nothing (if I may double-negative you - it seems appropriate for the Aggies on several levels) this year. A&M may toss out a worthwhile effort, just because it's at home, it's finally an opponent they outclass, and it's an opportunity for them to redeem themselves slightly. However, I'm going to take the points, as I believe we haven't seen the bottom in College Station yet.

Arkansas (+27) @ Texas
Arkansas is bad. Really bad. I feel terrible for them (NOT!). With the demise of USC, the door is open for everyone. If Texas wants to get into the hunt, a blowout here is a big first step. Gimme the 'Horns.

Boston University vs the corrupt-yet-compelling soul of Vic Mackey
Michael Chiklis, BU School of Fine Arts, Class of 1985 (or so).

Pros

Denver @ KC (+9.5)
My goodness, Kansas City is bad this year. Denver looks like it might have it goin' on. Now that Cutler is all insulined up, he seems to be back on track to be a star in this league. I sorta like this one. Nine and a half is a lot to give in the NFL, but sign me up this time.

Arizona (+1.5) at NY Jets
Beware Kurt Warner? Oh dear, this is indeed a matchup of spare, middle-of-the-pack NFL teams. However, I'd give up a point and a half and take the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets for a quick payday.

Houston (+7) @ Jacksonville
Houston is becoming the Texas Rangers of the NFL. This team may NEVER get it together. I like Jacksonville, and I like them at home even more. Do I like them seven points worth? Ummm, yeah, I guess.

Baltimore (+5.5) @ Pittsburgh
There might be ten points scored in this game. I think I'd take the Ravens and the under at 34. Now watch Rothlisberger wake up from his coma and pass for 500 yards and 7 TDs...

Washington (+11) @ Dallas
I think the Cowboys win, and I don't think there's much drama. However, 11 points? I wouldn't bet a dime on this game, but since it's play-dough, I'll take the points.

Comedic Value Game of the Week
There's surprisingly few laughers this week. I think it's either Buffalo (whom I sorta like) @ St Louis - any game that involves the Rams has to be considered for CVGW - or Cleveland @ Cincinnati, the battle of the two last places in America I would want to live.

Go (insert your team here)!

Football Friday: Ike'd up and ready to go (ROCK ME!)

As we await Ike, the lesser-known 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse, what better way to spend our remaining hours on this Earth than picking football games?

Onward!

Colleges

Washington State (+1) @ Baylor
Good heavens, Baylor is favored. I guess that's what happens when you lose to Cal 66-3 in your opener, as Washington St did last week. Still, it's sorta hard to figure. This game got bumped up to prevent God and His little buddy Ike from messing things up. May be over by now, in fact. I think I will break one of my cardinal rules here and go w/ the Bears.

UNT (+44.5) @ LSU
What is Coach Dodge telling his boys this week? "Guys, if we're lucky, the hurricane will blow right thru Baton Rouge and we won't have to go"? Well, the hurricane disappointed. This promises to be a bass-whipping of dreadful proportions. I hope UNT's cut of the gate is worth it.

SMU (+36.5) @ Texas Tech
The over/under on successful tackles may be around 10 in this game, while the o/u on duration is probably 5 hours. With as many times as these two teams will be throwing, this may be the longest game in the history of college football. In about 3 years, if we're lucky and June Jones isn't the snake-oil salesman I somewhat suspect he is, this may be a great game to watch. Not now. Tech covers.

Georgia @ South Carolina (+7)
Yee-ha! The Redneck Game of the Week is BACK, baby! No shirt, no shoes, no problemo, man! Pack your '77 El Camino full of moonshine and your cousins, even the kissin' cousins, and come on down! Which one will there be more of - yards gained on the field, or original teeth in the stands? Georgia covers, by the way.

Michigan @ Notre Dame (+1.5)
Oh. My. God. The world has truly turned upside down. The state of these two programs makes me question everything I thought I knew. Is passive resistance still effective? Is the atomic weight of carbon still 12? Is red dye #40 still bad for you? Nothing is sure any more. I have no pick, only sadness and dreams of better days in Ann Arbor and South Bend both.

OU @ Washington (+20.5)
Bad things seem to happen to the Sooners in the land of the Pac-10. Sorry, Coach Stoops, but I'm taking the points.

Ohio State (+11) @ USC
One of the few legitimate big games in non-conference. I like OSU's willingness to play the big boys early. Everyone is picking the Trojans to kill 'em. I dunno - I keep thinking USC and, especially, Pete Carroll are just a tad overrated. I'll take the points.

Boston University vs. the 1987 ROTC cadet graduates
Dan Haines (whom I have just re-established contact with after 21 years) and Pat Bomberg combine to pistol-whip the ghost of Pat Mancini, causing a late fumble and score. Raise your hand if you have any idea what I'm talking about.

Pros

New England (+1.5) @ NYJ
The tables have turned, or so it would seem. This is certainly not Tom Brady vs. Chad Pennington. Let's see what Bellichick can pull out of the hood of his silly sweatshirt. I'm taking the Pats until proven wrong.

New Orleans @ Washington (pick)
Someone needs to tell me why this game is pick. What on Earth do the Redskins have? Joe Gibbs hung it up because he saw what was coming this year. I think the Redskins have a chance to be really, really bad. Give me the Saints.

San Diego @ Denver (+1.5)
I think history will show that Phillip Rivers is a choke artist. Dude annoys the crap out of me. As much as I am a Norv Turner fan, and as much as I appreciate what he did for the Cowboys back in the 90s, I don't think much of him as a head coach. Shanahan, with his rodent teeth, will win the coaching battle, and the Broncos will win the game.

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland (+6)
Is Cleveland that bad, or are the Cowboys that good? We'll know more after this one. I would love to see the Browns put a whuppin' on 'em, but I sure wouldn't bet that way. Give me the Steelers.

Philadelphia (+7) @ Dallas
Should be a good early season game. There's a real chance that the Cowboys kill 'em. I think the Cowboys clobbered a so-so Browns team last week, while the Eagles got no test at all from a truly horrible Rams team. I think what we saw from the Cowboys was legit, while what we saw from the Eagles was a mirage. I'll give up 7, not happily, and will hope for a big Romo night.

Comedic Value Game of the Week
As always, so many to choose from. This week's honor goes to Miami @ Arizona. I really wonder what the Phoenix area did to offend God so badly that He sent them the Cardinals?

Go (insert your team here)!

Daily YouTube: D-3 football highlight of the century

Division III football powerhouse (?) Milsaps defeats Trinity on the most ridiculous play ever in the history of ever. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Football Friday – The Ice Storm Does Not Showeth edition

In a surprise to exactly no one over the age of about 12, “Arctic Blast 2006” was a giant fizzle. The so-called “weathermen” have a lot of brass calling what they do a “profession”. See? I’m so upset, I can’t even control my use of quotation marks.

Well, never mind all that nonsense. The college season is reaching its crescendo, and the pros are starting to sort themselves out. Lots to talk about today, so let’s get to it!

Colleges

USC @ UCLA (+13.5) – It must be a big game, as ABC is dispatching “Big Game Brent” to broadcast it. Which is too bad – I really wanted to watch it. Question: Can a game be good enough to counter-balance Brent Musburger? How does that guy get the big college game every week? Whatever. USC will win, and probably by a bunch. But 13.5 is too much for me. Give me the Bruins.

Arkansas (+3) vs. Florida @ Atlanta – The SEC Title Game (and, by default, the Redneck Game of the Week) is an interesting one this year. The Gators are not that great, but they can throw the ball. Arkansas is pretty darn good, but they can’t defend the pass. I think Arkansas wins for two reasons: 1). Florida is probably underestimating them, and 2) Razorback fans will annoy the Florida team into defeat. They do it to me every week.

Nebraska (+4) vs. Oklahoma @ KC – The Big 12 Title Game is not so interesting. This was, once upon a Big 8 time, one of the greatest rivalries in all of sports. Unfortunately, not so much anymore. Oklahoma is the better team, and may have the best defense in the country. Bob Stoops has, once again, proven the superiority of his sports brain, willing this injury-ravaged team to the success it’s had.

Rutgers (+10.5) @ West Virginia – Did we really think these were Top 5 teams at one point this year? We did? How silly. I totally don’t care about the outcome of the game, but I would LOVE to see the crowd at this one. The home side will be a bunch of coal miners and hillbillies, the visitor side a bunch of Christopher Moltisanti look-alikes. Talk about clash of cultures.

Overly Dramatic Pick of the Week: Fresno St. (+4) @ San Jose St. – The techies vs. the lettuce growers is sure to be a pitched battle between the classes, between the whities and the Meskins, between the future high earners and the future working class. Tune in to witness the final conflict between the forces of Karl Marx vs. those of supply-side economics. There can be only one!

Boston University vs. the cast and crew of “BU Tonight” – Since when does BU have 1) a campus TV station, and 2) a late-night TV talk show? I’ve seen some clips from this thing (look for a Daily YouTube with one in the not-too-distant future), and everyone in it needs a SERIOUS beating.

Pros

Minnesota (+9.5) @ Chicago – There’s NO QUESTION the Bears are the better team, but can their offense outscore anyone by 10 points? I sorta don’t think so. Give me the points.

Atlanta (+1.5) @ Washington – Oh, sure. Atlanta is bad and in full melt-down mode. And the Redskins have a new QB. Sorry, not everyone is Tony Romo. The Falcons are nowhere near as bad as they’ve played recently. The Nation’s Capital is the place to get your wheels back on.

Detroit (+14) @ Pats – Danger, Will Robinson! Fourteen points in the NFL is a WHOLE lot. Still, the Pats have the wheels on again, and Detroit so totally does not. Argh. It’s too much. Give me Detroit (kill me now).

Carolina @ Philadelphia (+3) – THIS is your Monday night game? WTF?? How much did ESPN pay to broadcast barforama games like this? Give me a good night’s sleep. No WAY I’m staying up for this one.

Cowboys @ Giants (+4) – The Giants are imploding and the Cowboys are world-beaters. Or are they? The Giants may very well use this week’s negativity to rally around. And, let’s face it, Tony Romo has to come back to his home planet at some point, doesn’t he? I’m taking the points (shocking), and will be working up Monday’s Dark Side post throughout.

Comedic Value Game of the Week – As usual, silly games outnumber serious ones by about 2 to 1. It’s always a struggle to narrow it down to one. While Jets @ Packers and Cardinals @ Rams are both great ones from a Buster Keaton-pratfall perspective, Houston @ Oakland really has to be the winner this week (or any week). Things are gonna be tough in the East Bay this weekend – it’s either this abysmal football game or the big Walnut Creek Hippie Craft Festival. Not sure which way I’d go.

Go (insert your team here)!

Some soul-crushing A&M numbers

From an email sent to Sports Bob, and lifted by me: Here are some Coach Franchione numbers which should make all Aggies cringe:

Bob,

More Fran numbers:

20-21 Overall record
Record against OU: 0-4, TT: 1-3, NU: 0-2, t.u.: 0-3
11 losses of 20 or more points
Lost to every Big 12 team, except for KU/KSU at least once
Lost to every Big 12 team, except for KU/KSU/Baylor by at least 20 points
Overall Big 12 record of 10-14 with an average margin of loss of 22 points
Big 12 South record of 5-10 with an average margin of loss of 21 points
Worst loss in Texas A&M history (77-0)
Worst loss to Texas Tech in Texas A&M history (56-17)
Worst bowl game loss in Texas A&M history (38-7)
First loss to Iowa State in Texas A&M history
First losing season since 1982
First loss to Baylor since 1985

As a great man almost once said,
Mark: They're making a mockery of my University, man. This whole thing is turning out to be a theatrical mockery. You understand that, Mike?
Mike: No
Mark: Well, you will.

-Brady Class of '99

Daily YouTube: 2005 Texas Longhorns highlights

OK, this is pretty gay. It's the 2005 Longhorns' season set to Eminem's "Lose Yourself". Still, it's pretty cool to remember just how great Texas was last year, and how much fun it all was.

Football Friday - You should be dancin', YEAH! edition

Friday again, in a week where I picked a fight with Sports Bob over the gayness of "Dancing With the Stars" (my vote: NOT GAY). What better way to celebrate than to quote Bee Gees lyrics until my voice goes up three octaves? That, and pick some football games.

I've heard through the grapevine that some of you out there scoff at my prognosticating abilities. Well, I've got news for you, dude. I scoff at them too. Anyone using this silly little blog to check their picks before calling their bookie gets what's coming to them.

So with that bit of self-deprecation behind us, let's get to it:

Colleges

Oklahoma St (+6) @ Texas Tech - Graham Harrell may rewrite the Tech record book before he's done, and that's saying something. However, I think the Cowboys don't really need six points here. Gimme Okie St to cover. By the way, I heard they're giving away Mike Leach-autograph-model plastic swords and eyepatches at this one. Hope it's true. Argh, matey.

Arkansas @ Mississippi St (+14.5) - Them Root-Hogs have come out of nowhere. What's up with that? I have no explanation. Regardless, it's liable to get messy in Starkville. I'm not ready to get up on my desk and start Callin' the Hawgs, but I'll lay down those 14 and a half.

Auburn @ Alabama (+3) - YEAH, baby! This one is always Redneck Game of the Week. Hell, this is Redneck Game of the Year, the Original Redneck Game. Yeeee-haaaaa!! This game has it all - Big Southern Dummies wherever you look, a parking lot paved with crushed-out Winstons and cans of Coors, and a who's-who of recessive gene disorders. Expect a whole lotta Lynryd Skynyrd rattling out of blown dashboard speakers and lots of muffin-tops hanging over polyester shorts. And expect Auburn to win by 7.

Michigan (+7) @ Ohio State - Why am I not psyched more for this game? Is it because I think Ohio State is going to kill the Wolverines? That's part of it. This is a classic matchup, it's #1 vs #2 for the second time this year, it's Nov football in the Midwest. What's not to like? And yet, my interest level is running on fumes. Maybe it's me...

Tennessee @ Vanderbilt (+7.5) - The Volunteers are my Disappointing Team of the Year, and I want Phil Fulmer's melon on a spike, dammit! Well, screw 'em. Give me Vanderbilt to cover, even though every time I hear "Vanderbilt", I always think of the nearsighted bugler on "F-Troop".

Virginia Tech @ Wake Forest (pick) - How the mighty have fallen. I'd take the Hokies for sentimental reasons only.

We're debuting a new feature here on CIT: The Overly Dramatic Pick of the Week. Here goes:

Oklahoma @ Baylor (+20.5) - Last year, I thought Baylor had found the secret. This year, they've lost it again. The Sooners are the best team in the Big 12 right now. I think the Brazos runs red with Baptist blood.

Pretty dramatic, huh?

Boston University vs. Deval Patrick - the new governor of Mass is probably a great guy, and may wind up being great for the state, but he looks a bit, and sounds a lot, like Mike Tyson.

Pros

Pats @ Green Bay (+6) - What in the Holy Name of God is going on with the Pats? They lose to the friggin' Jets? They sign 87-year-old Vinny Testaverde. It's looking like full-on collapse from here. Well, if you're fighting a collapse, Green Bay is probably the place to do it. At least, I hope so. I'm going with my heart, not my head here. Give me the (gulp) Pats.

Atlanta (+4) @ Baltimore - Ray Lewis had surgery on his back, but isn't definitively out for this one. That guy is nuts. I would have thought the Ravens would clean Atlanta's clock, but they BARELY beat the ridiculous little Titans last week, so I dunno. Give me the Ravens, but I ain't putting the mortgage payment on this one.

Titans (+13) @ Eagles - Another example of why betting on the NFL will kill you young. The Eagles are so schizo - no wonder their fans are such a-holes. They've all been driven completely nuts by their psychotic team. Oh, crap. Give me Vince Young to cover at least.

Giants (+3) @ Jacksonville - I guess I'm an idiot, but this looks like the biggest no-brainer of the week. You're going to give me the Giants, on Monday night, AND 3? I'll take it.

Colts @ Cowboys (+2) - WHHHAAAAAATTT? The Cowboys are getting 2? They need 22. Why does everyone think the Cowboys can hang with the Colts? They can't. Yes, that's right. I said: They CAN'T! Some people are comparing Romo to Peyton - seriously, I'm not making this up. What the hell have these people been watching? Or smoking? It's gonna be a GREAT week on the Dark Side. Please stop by on Monday to see how much fun we're having.

Comedic Value Game of the Week: Detroit @ Arizona - Why, oh why, do they do this to us every stinking week? Why must they schedule games so rancid, so awful, that they make us long for pre-season college basketball? Good God, I'd rather watch TENNIS than this swill.

Go (insert your team here)!

Football Friday - TO's Got the Dropsies Edition

The weeks just fly by at this time of year, don't they? We're less than two weeks from Thanksgiving - how did that happen?

While there are no knock-your-mama-out match ups this weekend, there are some games of note. So, let's get to it:

Colleges

Nebraska @ A&M (Pick) - I guess I'm an A&M hater, but I don't get it. How is this game down to pick? Who have they beaten? Well, they aren't beating the Cornhuskers, not even at Kyle Field. I will take Nebraska, and I don't think it's close.

Tennessee @ Arkansas (-6) - Redneck Game of the Week? While Arkansas isn't really the Deep South (at least not to me), I think it probably is. Both teams are working in new QBs this week, so it's likely to be a messy one. Tennessee keeps disappointing me, so I'd lay the points. And look forward to halftime, when the bands have a showdown, both playing Roger Miller's Chug A Lug at top volume while the fans try to polish off their Mason jars fulla 'shine.

Georgia @ Auburn (-12) - This ought to be Redneck Game of the Week, except Georgia is truly showing it's a** this year. Sorry, Johnny G., your Dawgs suck. I like Auburn by about 20.

Texas Tech @ Oklahoma (-9) - I made a promise not to bet against Bob Stoops for the rest of the year, and I won't, even though 9 points makes me a bit queasy.

Texas @ K St (+16) - I keep waiting for Colt McCoy to play like a redshirt freshman. He hasn't done it yet, and there's no reason to think he will against sorry Kansas State. I'm gonna keep going Burnt Orange (which I readily admit is the worst color this side of the old Tampa Bay Buc's day-glo) until they make me regret it.

Boston University vs. the latest fare increase on the T - What do they think this is? New York?

Pros

Chargers (-1) @ Cincinnati - I really tried to get on the Bengals' bandwagon earlier in the season. I have no idea what's gone wrong there, but something clearly has. Give me the latter-day LT to have a big ol' honkin' day.

Baltimore (-7) @ Tennessee - Think Mr. McNair has a thing or two to prove to the Titans? The jury is still out on Vince Young. I still think he's a failed bit in the pros, but time will tell. I'm giving up a lot of points this week, but I have to go Ravens here.

New Orleans @ Pittsburgh (-4.5) - I still want to believe in the Saints, and Pittsburgh's wheels are so off. I think I'm going to regret this one, but give me New Orleans.

Washington @ Philadelphia (-7) - I think both of these teams suck, but I sure like Donovan McNab vs. geezing Mark Brunell. Seven points is a lot here, but I'll lay it.

Chicago @ NYG (-1) - Chicago, maybe a bit over-rated? Their defense is great, but what, exactly, has Rex Grossman ever done? This should be a good game, and I'm leaning towards the Giants.

Dallas (-7) @ Arizona - While I'll be pulling for the Cardinals (can you IMAGINE how much fun the Dark Side post will be if the Cowboys lose here?), there is NO WAY I would EVER bet on them. Why does Denny Green keep getting jobs? What has he ever done? There's talent on this Cardinal team, but they need a new coach and a total karma transplant. It makes my teeth hurt to say this, but give me the Cowboys.

Comedic Value Game of the Week - San Fran @ Detroit - The schedule makers must have laughed themselves silly when they lined this one up. The real reason Ford is failing now? They put their name on the Lion's stadium. God doles out punishment of the highest order to those who support crappy teams.

Go (insert your team here)!

Football Friday - Tony Romo Looks Just Like My Nephew (age 5) Edition

I swear to God, Romo looks exactly like my 5-year-old nephew. It's sorta surreal. I expect to see him running around in a pair of yellow Crocs every time I see him.

Well, never mind that. We've got us some football games to pick. And we have a lot of ground to make up from last week's 4-8 disaster. Onward!

Colleges

Texas @ OK St (+17) - The Texas defense is showing some a** lately. I think the 'Horn offense is good for a bunch of points - Colt McCoy may wind up being one of the great Texas QBs before he's done. But that defense - I dunno. I think I'd go with the points this week.

Ball St (+38.5) @ Michigan - So, I guess the trick is to schedule your patsies later in the season. Michigan will wipe out Ball St, just like Texas did Sam Houston State a while back. The difference is Michigan won't go into free-fall in the polls because it's too late to penalize them. Everyone paying attention? BTW - I'll take Michigan, although I hate like HELL giving up all those points.

Mississippi St (+15) @ Alabama - Waaaahoooooo! The Redneck Game of the Week is right here, baby! Every time Alabama scores, you're supposed to kiss your sister. Every time Mississippi St scores, you're supposed to kiss your girlfriend. And you can see this punchline coming from 10 miles away, so I won't bother. Give me the Crimson Tide here.

Florida (+12.5) @ Middle Tennessee - This has GOT to be a misprint in the Thurs DMN. Jump on it, man!

Oklahoma @ A&M (+3) - The Aggies are 8-1, but that is the fakest 8-1 in the nation. Oklahoma surprised the you-know-what out of me last week. I should know better than to bet against the superior sports brain of Bob Stoops. Sorry, Coach. It won't happen again.

Boston University vs. the horrible Astro-Turf at Nickerson Field - The worst turf burn of my life came on that damn lousy rug in the spring of 1984. My leg still stings from it. I can't imagine getting drilled into it by 5 200-lb guys on a rainy, 35 degree December Saturday. Maybe that's the real reason BU killed football?

Pros

Indianapolis (+3) @ New England - Game of the Week. Zowie, this should be good. Peyton and Colts killed the Pats last year. I kinda don't think so this year (well, to be honest, I didn't think so last year either). Go Pats!

Cleveland (+12.5) @ Chargers - I don't know why, but when I think of this game, I immediately think of the great Curt Gowdy. Don't ask. Point spreads over 10 always get my attention in the NFL. I don't like Cleveland, but I do like the points.

New Orleans @ Tampa Bay (+1) - Give me New Orleans. I still want to believe.

Cincinnati (+3) @ Baltimore - What has happened to the Bengals? I really thought they had found something. The Raven defense is looking fairly scary, and this is no place to try to get your offensive wheels back on. I'm gonna lay the points. Go Baltimore. Whee.

Dallas @ Washington (+3) - As mentioned in Monday's Dark Side post (a stellar piece of insightful analysis, if you haven't read it), with this Cowboy team, despair is only a week away. I think despair checks back in at Valley Ranch. Since Joe Gibbs remembered he has Clinton Portis, the Redskins' offense is showing life again.

Comedic Value Game of the Week - Packers @ Buffalo is the funniest game on the slate this week. What do you think - 20,000 in the stands? I might take the under on that.

Go (insert your team here)!

Good thing I don't actually make these bets

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to go back and rehash this past week's football picks. A few weeks ago I went 5-5 and thought the world was ending. Now, I look back on those halcyon days wistfully.

Colleges:
Oklahoma @ Missouri - Wrong. Changing my tune on Chase Daniel.
Auburn @ Mississippi - Better. No Klan robes, at least not on TV.
Georgia vs. Florida - Florida won, which I figured, and covered, which I did not.
Texas @ Tech - 'Horns won, which I figured, but did not cover. What is up w/ the Texas defense?
A&M @ Baylor - God apparently had bigger things to worry about on Saturday. Wrong again.
Tennessee @ South Carolina - Volunteers won (and so did I), but it was closer than I expected.

Pros:
Seahawks @ Chiefs - Close, but no cigar.
Baltimore @ New Orleans - Not so close, and definitely no cigar.
Pittsburgh @ Oakland - Oh dear.
Colts @ Denver - Peyton Manning is regular season genius.
Dallas @ Carolina - Help me prop up that sword so I can fall on it again.
Pats @ Minnesota - Tom Brady is still the best QB to put Drew Bledsoe on the bench.

So, let's tally it up...carry the one...divide by the square root of pi...multiply by the cube of my IQ...and we come up with 4-8.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the back, putting on the dress blues and polishing the service revolver.

Football Friday - It Is OVER edition

WHAT A WEEK! The good news is the Cowboys implosion has really just started. The finger-pointing and blame-avoidance needs a few more weeks (and a few more losses) to gather some momentum. The big TO Owens weapons-grade meltdown is always just around the corner as well. What a mess.

Well, regardless of the utter foolishness going on out at Valley Ranch, the rest of the world is still playing football. There are some big games this weekend, so let's get to it:

Colleges

Oklahoma @ Missouri - The Sooners are one banged-up team. There isn't much left on the shelves and even the superior sports intellect of Coach Stoops isn't going to pull it out of the ditch this year. The Tigers are giving a point and a half, and should have no trouble covering it. Chase Daniel is worth keeping an eye on.

Auburn @ Mississippi - This would be the Redneck Game of the Week, if it weren't for that big to-do down in Jacksonville. I guess in this day and age, it's unlikely anyone attends the game in Klan robes, but it's always a possibility with a matchup like this. Mississippi gets 19, but I'd lay those points and go with the War Eagles/Tigers/whatever their mascot is.

Georgia vs. Florida in Jacksonville - The undisputed Redneck Game of the Week every year. We're not allowed to call it "The World's Largest Cocktail Party" anymore, but I always thought that was a misnomer anyway. C'mon, it's Georgia and Florida. These guys mix beer and tomato juice, not apple martinis. Florida is giving 14, which is an awful lot in a rivalry game. Florida wins the game, but I'm taking the points.

Texas @ Texas Tech - The Red Raiders get 11 here, but they are really bad this year. It's a sad state of affairs when a Mike Leach team struggles to score points. I don't think the 'Horns are an offensive juggernaut, but they should whip up on Tech. Sorry, Shane.

Texas A&M @ Baylor - As mentioned here a few weeks ago, God is not happy with the Ags over their non-conference schedule. Here's where the Almighty extracts Old Testament-style justice. Baylor may win by 50 points. I'd be on the lookout for a few lightening bolts as well.

Tennessee @ South Carolina - Which Volunteers team shows up here? I think the good one, and I think Phil's boys cover the 3.5.

Boston University vs. the ghost of Pat Mancini - The former Terrier QB actually stopped by little CIT last season and left a comment. Nice to hear from him.

Pros

Seahawks @ Chiefs - Seattle has no one healthy, and I think they're going to need most of the 6.5 they're getting. Chiefs win, but Seattle covers.

Baltimore @ New Orleans - It's a strange NFL world when the Saints are favored against the Ravens, but that's where we are. I'm trying hard to be a Saints believer, so put me down for New Orleans to cover the 2.5.

Pittsburgh @ Oakland - Big Ben or no Big Ben, 9 point favorite Pittsburgh should mop the floor with the shockingly bad Raiders.

Colts @ Denver - Indianapolis is a 2 point dog. How is a team with Jake (the Fake) Plummer favored over a team led by Peyton Manning? Give me those points.

Dallas @ Carolina - Oh. My. God. Is there a mercy rule in the NFL like in grade-school baseball? If the score is 75-0, do they make Carolina stop? We'll find out this week. Next week should be even MORE entertaining than this past week around the DFW Metroplex of Love.

New England @ Minnesota - Why is no one talking about the Pats? Maybe they'll get some pub after wiping out the Vikings on prime-time TV.

Comedic Value Game of the Week - As is often the case, we've got two to choose from. Houston @ Tennessee is not a good game, but there's some interest as the Texans get to see what they passed up in Vince Young. And don't forget Arizona @ Green Bay, which I can't even find the words to mock.

Go (insert your team here)!