Monday, January 14, 2008

Australian kids are stupid, too

Corely Delaney, a 16-year-old suburban Melbourne kid, recently threw a party while his parents were away. Who amongst us hasn't done the same? When I was in high school, I had PLENTY of parties whilst the folks were off in parts unknown. There was (gasp) alcohol involved, perhaps a drinking game or two, a number of people crashed out on couches the next morning; the usual high school shenanigans.

Well, young Mr. Delaney took it a few steps further. Actually, quite a few steps further.

Young Mr. Delaney, presumably with help from his juvenile delinquent friends, posted adverts for his party on MySpace and via text message. Enough people found out about this bash that 500 of them showed up for it.

Trust me on this one: 500 16- and 17-year-olds, drinking in someone's back yard, with no adult supervision, is a recipe for disaster. This combination is NEVER going to produce good results.

As you have no doubt surmised by now, the party spilled into the neighborhood, with drunken 16-year-old douche bags smashing windows, vandalizing homes, shouting obscenities at the neighbors, etc. Someone called the cops, the aforementioned douche bags started pelting the first responders with bottles, and things went from bad to worse.

It took 30 cops, a police helicopter, and a K-9 squad to bring things under control. Victoria state police are considering billing Mom & Pop Delaney for the approximately A$20,000 spent in cleaning up young Corey's mess.

A couple of priceless quotes from young Corey himself seem to indicate that he hasn't quite learned his lesson yet:

"I can't remember. I was just off my head. Can't remember."

But when asked what advice he had for other teenagers planning a home alone party, (Delaney) appeared unrepentant and told the Nine Network: "Get me to do it for you.

"Best party ever, that's what everyone's saying."

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