Kenya's middle class

Yes, there is a middle class in central Africa. I know, I was surprised too.

Stephanie McCrummen writes in today's WaPo about the growing middle class in Nairobi. Made up of small business owners, teachers, civil servants, farmers, recent college grads, and professionals, this group is fueling a bit of a construction boom in the burbs of the Kenyan capital and are buying consumer goods you don't normally associate with that part of the world.

THIS is where peace lies. When a substantial portion of a population starts to see an improvement in their lifestyle, when they start to HAVE SOMETHING TO LOSE, they start to think more rationally and to look for economic, political, religious, and social stability.

Of course, the key here is education. These folks are, for the most part, educated and employable. As in, they went to school and learned more than Koran verses by rote.

Not that I'm trying make any comparisons or anything...

This ain't good news

Police in the Cleveland burbs are searching for 26-year old Jessie Davis, who has been missing since last Friday. Davis is 9 months pregnant. The only witness to whatever happened to her is her 2-year-old son, Blake. Blake is currently being cared for by his maternal grandma, and is wandering around the house saying really creepy things like "Mommy was crying," "Mommy broke the table," and "Mommy's in the rug."

The father of Blake and the unborn child (a girl) is one Bobby Cutts Jr., a local police officer. Cutts and his recently estranged wife are cooperating with the investigation.

You hate to jump to conclusions, but that entire last paragraph has "SUSPICIOUS" written all over it.

That poor little boy. God knows what he saw, and God knows how badly its damaged him.

Behind the passport mess...Citigroup

We're about to apply for passports for the entire fam - we're off to the ancestral family homeland of British Columbia later this summer and the new rules state we need passports to cross any border, even just to Canada.

As of just a couple of weeks ago, the rules have changed yet again. We don't have to have the actual passports, just proof that our applications have been submitted. Which is good news, because the State Dept, the agency which issues passports, is so far behind in processing new passport applications, they may never catch up.

Here's the latest on the passport processing fiasco: In addition to a signficant shortage of workers and slow hiring for no apparent reason, it turns out that initial data entry of applications, which is performed by a government contractor, is slow and riddled with errors. That contractor? My favorite former employer: Citigroup.

Based on my experience with Citigroup's ponderous bureaucracy, emphasis on avoiding blame and covering one's a**, complete lack of understanding of basic process design, dehumanizing work environment, lousy pay, and lousier benefits, I am shocked, SHOCKED, to hear Citigroup has made a mess of things.

Daily YouTube: Closer than you ever want to be to a 747 in flight

I have only two words to describe this: "holy" and "crap".

BTW, this is apparently the airport in St Maartens in the Caribbean, and it is apparently the real deal, not a fake. I will never be landing at that airport.

Mark Cuban gets a colonoscopy

Mavs owner and chief whiner (but he's OUR whiner, dang it) Mark Cuban had his first colonoscopy this morning, and thought it worthy of a blog post.

While I doubt I'm ever going to write a post like this, I have had the procedure and have to agree it there's nothing to it. The "clean out" (yuck) is FAR worse than the event itself.

If you're that age, and you haven't had one of these, it really is no biggie. An it can easily save your life.

HUGE win for Blu-Ray

Blockbuster announced today that they will be renting hi-def movies on Blu-Ray disc only.

The format war seems to be sorting itself out, and, for a change, the superior technology appears to be winning. In spite of Sony's ham-fisted manner in dealing with content providers and the general public, it looks like Blu-Ray is going to be at critical mass before the technologically-inferior HD-DVD.

Justice prevails.

Daily YouTube: Oh, dear. That's really gross.

Moderately graphic: Some dude barfs on-air during an interview. Who amongst us hasn't done that, right?

Time for a BIG Rangers trade (we hope)

The Texas Rangers' season is over, and has been since about May 5th. Amidst this disaster (wait, that should probably be DISASTER, in bold and italics, to convey the depth of abysmalosity we're witnessing), the Rangers have some serious chips in the deadline trading game. Let's see if they can cash in.

Tops of the trade-'em-now list is Mark Texeira, the power-hitting first baseman who will enter the final year of club control in 2008 and is a disciple of the Baseball Antichrist. There is essentially no way the Rangers will re-sign Texeira, so it's of paramount importance they get something for him now.

Also on the list of viable trade bait: Eric Gagne, who has shown he's got a little something left; Sammy Sosa, who also has shown he has a little something left; Aki Otsuka, who has been the most reliable pitcher in the organization for the past two years; and perhaps a few others. I'd trade Mike Young, the newly re-signed "face of the franchise" - I know, I know; he's a great guy, he's home-grown, he's part Mexican, and he can hit. But, if you can get some legit pitching prospects, welp, see ya, Mikey!

This season has been so bad, I don't think there's anyone on this team who's untouchable. Unfortunately, there are way too many players here that no one will take. But that's another story.

All this is a lead in to a column in the New York Post today which calls Jon Daniels "the most gunshy GM in baseball".

Well, if you had engineered some of the worst trades in Ranger history (hell, maybe in baseball history), like the Chris Young and Adrian Gonzales for Otsuka and the-long-gone-and-forgotten Adam Eaton trade, and the Alfonso Soriano for Brad Wilkerson trade, and the Kevin Mench and Coco Cordero for long-gone-and-forgotten Carlos Lee trade, and the John Danks for Brandon McCarthy trade, wouldn't you be a little gunshy too?

I sense very bad things for our little Rangers for some time to come.

Daily YouTube: Tiger Woods' golf swing

In honor of this weekend's US Open: I'm not sure it can be done any better than this. The guy is amazing.



He's a friggin machine even when he's screwing around.



And it's nice to know he's human, as well.

Automobile time capsule unearthed

Here's a kind of cool story from Tulsa OK, where the townsfolk have unearthed a 1957 Plymouth Belvedere buried under the courthouse lawn. The car, along with 10 gallons of gas, the contents of an averge woman's purse, and a case of beer (hey, it's Oklahoma), was encased in a concrete bunker and covered over back in 1957 as a time capusle.

Unfortunately, the bunker, which was supposed to have been able to stand up to a nuclear bomb blast, has been leaking water for a while, and the car's been sitting in said water.

They tried starting it yesterday, but, alas, the water did it's damage. It would have been a great story if they'd opened the container and found a bright, shiny classic car that fired up on the first try, but it's not to be.

Cambodia - Hell may be freezing over

In news I was pretty sure I would not live to see, judges in Phnom Penh today said they are ready to start the LONG-delayed Khmer Rouge trials.

While Brother Number One Pol Pot went to face a higher form of justice almost ten years ago, big boys like Khieu Samphan and Ieng Sary are still on this side of the daisies and are eligible for trial. One would think, since their sicko "social experiment" from 1975-1979 killed approx 2 million Cambodians, they might even be eligible for the Saddam Special.

This has been a political football of the highest order for the past twenty years or so, and delays of every description made trials before the defendants died of old age the longest of longshots. It remains to be seen who gets charged, with what crimes, and if the trials are going to be, you know, trials, but it's still a huge step.

And a reaffirming one at that. Hopefully, justice will finally prevail.

Daily YouTube: Local news reporters have it tough

This woman is NOT amused.

Things get worse in Gaza

The Palestinian territory of Gaza, which has been a big, giant, violent mess since the Israelis evacuated it in Sept 2005, is currently witnessing what may very well be the beginning of the Palestinian Civil War.

Fatah and Hamas, the two leading Palestinian political factions, have been killing each other for some time now, but things have really spun out of control in the past few days. Today's news includes RPG attacks on the Hamas Prime Minister's home, shootouts in hospitals, and kindergarten classes caught in crossfire.

Oh, these guys are ready for a state of their own. Aren't they? The Family of Nations would be enriched by the presence of the Palestinians.

Israelis are watching this Wide World of Death with mixed emotions, no doubt. As we've said before, every bullet, grenade, mortar shell, etc used on a fellow Palestinian is one less shot, thrown, launched, etc at an Israeli. On the other hand:

1. What's left of the best and brightest of the Palestinian population is getting massacred. While the Palestinian birth-rate ensures there will always be a steady supply of cannon fodder, there's no question the gene pool is getting culled in a big way. Who survives this much violence? Only the most violent. All that's left is the thugs and the regular people. The gifted leaders (if there ever were any) who haven't been zapped by an IAF Hellfire missile are taking an AK-47 round in the melon from their next door neighbor.
   


2. If this turns into the long-anticipated fight to the finish, whoever emerges as the winner will be far stronger and in a far more secure position than now. It's difficult to imagine the rest of the world standing around, permitting a "fight to the finish", especially if Fatah appears to be coming out on the short end, but I suspect the Israelis have already thought this through.
   


3. More violence means more kids desensitized to violence, and another generation of martyrs is made.
   


4. Chaos is unpredictable. If it gets really nasty, and (especially) if Fatah is getting creamed, does Egypt step in to enforce a truce? If Egypt sends troops, what does Iran do? If Iran does something, what do the Saudis do? And Gaza is how close to Tel Aviv? Oh, about 45 miles.
   

What's truly amazing to me is the full circle Fatah has travelled. Back in the day, Fatah was reviled as a vicious, uncrupulous, manipulative bunch of savages. Now, they're the voice of reason and probably the best hope for peace (or at least less violence). I guess in comparison to true evil (which is what I consider Hamas), even Yassir Arafat's cronies look OK.

I really want to blog about happy stuff. This crap is wearing me out.

EU-China trade talks focus on piracy, trade imbalance

Officials from the Chinese trade ministry are meeting with their EU counterparts in Brussels, and the conversation sounds like a whine-a-thon by the Euros.

At issue, among other things, are Chinese tariffs and other trade barriers, along with China's complete disregard for Western copyrights and patents. The Euros are in a snit because they fear loss of China's astoundingly huge and rapidly growing middle-income market due to the tough barriers the Chinese have put in place, while Chinese rip-off artists, free to charge whatever they want behind China's legal and tariff firewall, make a mint.

They've got a point. The Chinese are not playing fair at all with the West in trade, law, and many other areas. But, as Billy Joel's Dodger said, "Fairs are for tourists, kid." The Chinese, with their enormous economic clout, rather scary military (which has no major current commitments other than some minor freedom crushing in Tibet and pockets of Xinjiang, unlike a certain other country who's acronym-du-jour is TSBFPMEMBACEHE, and fundamentally different ideas about the concept of "private property", are under no serious pressure to play by anyone's rules except their own. Don't expect them to come down with a case of the moral heebie-jeebies anytime soon.

It's easy to over-estimate the other guys, especially in a case like this, when there are gaping cultural differences between the average Americano/Euro and the average Chinese. At the same time, it's important to remember the Chinese version of "long term" is a lot different than that of elected and term-limited leaders in the West. Subtlety and nuance are woven into Asia at the DNA level, while the Bush Administration's version of "subtlety" is a wooden baseball bat to the head, rather than an aluminum one.

Eventually, the Arabs are going to be irrelevant. As soon as we have alternatives to oil, which will happen later if not sooner, most of their power will evaporate and they'll be back to herding sheep and killing each other on horseback, just like they were 60 years ago. The Chinese, however, are in it for the long run. And the assets they've got - an enormous, growing-rapidly-in-size-and-wealth market; an industrious population which values education; and a basically stable government run by smart and experienced dudes – are not going away so easily.

Daily YouTube: Why is this funny?

There's something about guys getting hit in the gresticles that's funny. Right up to when it happens to you...



And then there's this. I don't want to sound racist, but, based on this video evidence, we need to watch out for the Chinese.

Everyone's an expert

Everyone's got an opinion on Iraq. Even some folks you might not expect. You can't argue with this guy's credentials though; he definitely has skins on the wall...

Retired Gen. George Washington Criticizes Bush's Handling Of Iraq War

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Revolutionary War veteran noted that while Hussein was a tyrant, that alone did not justify a "conflict that seems without design or end."

Daily YouTube: 100 greatest movie quotes

How many of these movies can you name?

The lowdown on LeBron James’ new crash pad

Dude knows how to live large.

An acronym so good, it deserves its own post

Hell, this probably deserves a Wikipedia entry:

TSBFPMEMBACEHE – The Single Biggest Foreign Policy Mistake Ever Made By Any Country Ever in the History of Ever. A new name for the bone-headed, wasteful-in-every-manner, option-killing, economy-crippling, moral-authority-destroying, foreign-policy-emasculating-for-the-next-20-years, ally-alienating, enemy-making, next-three-generations-of-Islamic-terrorists-training FIASCO which is the entire US campaign in Iraq.

For the record, I oppose a pull-out, as I believe it will just make all of the above worse. And I know its crying over spilled milk, but, GOD ALMIGHTY, we should never have invaded in the first place!

Something new in the world of terrorism

There's a very interesting piece on MSNBC today by Richard Engel, regarding a new trend in the world of international terrorism. Engel calls it "Al-Qaeda Franchises", and it's not good news at all.

What he's talking about is exemplified by those Fatah al-Islam jackasses who are currently slugging it out with the Lebanese army in the Nahr al-Barid refugee camp in northern Lebanon. While not technically part of AQ, these morons are clearly "inspired" by Uncle Osama and Friends. Engel compares them to your local McDonalds franchise – locally owned and operated, locally staffed, but supported by marketing, brand recognition, and "secret ingredients" from the Home Office.

The really interesting part is Fatah al-Islam and their ilk, and there's a bunch of such bands of jerkoffs scattered around Lebanon in Palestinian refugee camps and all over the Middle East, are Sunnis, just like Uncle Osama. In Lebanon at least, the strongest non-government force (hell, maybe stronger than the government) is Iranian-backed, ultra-Shiite Hezbollah. Shockingly, the Lebanese government and Hezbollah now have a common enemy. However, Hezbollah honcho Hassan Nasrallah, who may be delusional, psychotic, immoral, and a liar, but is definitely not a dummy, is pulling the "Oh, we'll help, but it's gonna cost you" bit with the Siniora government.

I don't really know what to make of this, but it's interesting (and scary) to see AQ remake itself yet again. It's equally interesting (and scary) to see just how long the Sunni target list is. These clowns are already going head-to-head with the US in Iraq, are spoiling for a fight with Israel (of course), are after most of the fascist Arab governments, and are ready to throw down with Shiites wherever and whenever they can.

Perhaps that's the answer, or part of the answer. Can we successfully get the Sunnis and Shiites to concentrate on beating the crap out of each other? The answer is probably yes, but we'd need to get out of Iraq first, then have Israel lie as low as it can. Those to pre-requisites are unlikely – we're too stuck in Iraq and it's way too late to just admit it was sheer stupidity to get involved there in the first place, and the Israelis can't afford to roll over, no matter what's at stake in the larger picture.

Still, it sure seems like there's something to be leveraged there. The Sunni-Shiite antagonism seems to present opportunities. I've given up on the Bush administration ever having the intelligence to recognize such opportunities or the skill and subtlety required to act on them, but it's something to keep in mind for January 2009 (how effing depressing is that?).

The lesson from Fatah al-Islam and groups like it is probably something along the lines of the adaptability of the fundamentalist Islamic terrorist world. We will never beat these guys with force, and force applied in the wrong place for the wrong reasons only makes them stronger (yes, that is a not too subtle reference to the Iraq boondoggle, henceforth referred to here as "The Single Biggest Foreign Policy Mistake Ever Made By Any Country Ever in the History of Ever" or TSBFPMEMBACEHE). And, thanks in no small part to TSBFPMEMBACEHE, our options stink.

A most unfortunate name

Here's an MSNBC article about a genuine travesty of justice. It seems a former honor student was convicted of having sex with a minor and received the mandatory Georgia sentence of 10 years in the Big House. Unfortunately for him, the sex was of the consensual oral sort with his 15 year old girlfriend when he was 17. I'm not sure this warrants 10 years of man-rape. The convicted man and his defense team are challenging the sentence, but if they don't succeed, you'd have to call this one of the most regrettable hummers of all time.

The convicted man is Genarlow Wilson, which is sort of a tragic name on its own, but it's not the one referred to in the headline above. That honor is reserved for his defense attorney, one B.J. Bernstein.

Sometimes, I am ashamed of just how childish I am.

Chevrolet Volt is coming sooner

According to GM Chairman Rick Wagoner, the plug-in electric Volt is a top priority for the company. Wagoner went on to say that GM has let two contracts to battery suppliers in an effort to get the program moving.

As painful as $3+ gasoline is, here's a good example of why it's in our long term best interests to get reamed by Exxon right now. As gas prices climb, alternatives like the Volt, which, driven with some care regarding length of trip and speed, might never use a gallon of gas, start to look pretty darn attractive.

For me, if someone can build a reliable, 40 miles-to-the-charge, all-electric car and sell it for under $40k, I am totally in. It doesn't have to be a giant sedan or SUV. All I want is seats for four adults, a trunk big enough for a load of groceries, a four-speaker sound system, and decent enough craftsmanship and materials to last for five or six years. Producing a vehicle fitting this description for under $40k doesn't sound unreasonable to me.

If you can come up with that, GM (or anyone else), I'll take two tomorrow.

Daily YouTube: A guy who’s not as funny as he thinks he is

Phillip Wellman, manager of the Braves AA affiliate in Mississippi, went nuts the other night, yanking up bases and throwing rosin bags like grenades.

Why do baseball managers get to make such idiots of themselves? What would happen if you tried some of this nonsense at your job?

Did he climb, or was he dragged?

Werner Berger recently became the oldest dude to climb the Seven Summits (the highest peak on each continent), reaching the top of Everest at the age of 69.

Good for him, I suppose. Assuming he actually did it on his own.

If you read a bit about the state of mountaineering, and especially mountaineering on Everest, you'll soon find out it's not all glory. Forget about the obvious danger to life and limb experienced by the professionals who are in top physical form, have tons of knowledge, years of experience, skills, talent, and drive. If it were just those folks climbing up to 29,000+ ft, there would still be outrageous danger and appalling accidents.

It's not just those folks scaling Everest each spring, however, as Herr Berger will attest. Werner himself might be strong as an ox, with all the skill and experience of an Ed Viesturs. But, then again, he might be your typical 69-year-old dude, who only made up the mountain thanks to bottled oxygen, Sherpas carrying everything from his tent to battery-powered jammies to jugs of Propel Fitness Water (whatever the hell that is) for him, and his guide literally carrying his old a** up the mountain strapped to his back. If so, he certainly would not be the first.

Don't get me wrong. Even if Werner got toted up the side of that hill like a sack of zucchini, it still wasn't a pleasant trip for him. However, there's a big difference between discomfort due to cold, wind, and a chafing tow-strap, and real suffering due to climbing nearly straight up into the stratosphere on your own hands and feet.

More ridiculous over-protection of kids

Today's make-me-gag headline on MSNBC: "Rolling sneakers blamed for rise in kid injuries".

It appears my daughter's Heelys are going to kill her. Or at least leave her maimed.

Someone needs to help me out here. What are kids supposed to do? They can't go outside alone, and if they can manage to get mom or dad to stand outside and watch them play, they can only ride their bikes when decked out in a full set of medieval plate armor. Same thing for skateboards or scooters, if the parent's are insane and/or unthinking enough to provide either of those death traps. They can't play army because they can't have guns, they can't go down to the creek because the water's polluted and the molesters apparently all live in caves along creek beds. They can't play unorganized sports because they don't have the proper safety gear and they might hurt someone's feelings by picking a kid last. And organized sports – too many practices can hurt you, and there are all those a-hole parents around too.

They can't play video games because they're all too violent. They can't go online because the sickos are going to prey on them. Barbie is too thin, GI Joe is too macho, and Tinkertoys have too many small parts. How about a book? Hell no, kid. You need more exercise.

Oh, and make sure you enjoy your childhood.

ENOUGH! The things I enjoyed as a kid – playing "Emergency" on my bicycle (no helmet, thank you), neighborhood baseball games, "French Resistance" (just a thought: is that an oxymoron?) until all hours of the night, exploring the creek at the end of the street, etc etc – all would be labeled "dangerous" now, and my parents would probably be in jail for letting me do any of them.

Listen, I'm all for a "No Heelys" rule in school, in the mall, and maybe a few other places. Basically, if you can't skateboard somewhere, you probably shouldn't be Heeling yourself all over the place either. But outside, when there isn't a crowd to weave through and knock over, why not? My kid has become pretty good on them and it looks like she's having a blast with them.

Kids are going to play, and probably fall down, and likely get scrapes, cuts, and maybe broken bones. Maybe worse. But real high-drama is unlikely. Fun is a near-certainty.

We had it right when we were kids: Parents ruin everything.

When jokes are Republican, only Republicans will have jokes

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money."

The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"

The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"

Are we one big storm away from $6 gas?

Several insurance industry modelers are predicting gas prices north of $6/gallon if the Gulf Coast gets clobbered by a true Cat 5 hurricane (which Katrina was NOT by the time it hit land) this summer. It's sorta shocking to read that the first time, but, when you stop and think for a minute, it's not that big a stretch.

Of course, the next question is: Would $6 gas be, in the long term, such a bad thing?

NASA is a mess

While I'm not a major space geek, I am a moderately-interested fan of the subject. I enjoyed Apollo 13 and From the Earth to the Moon immensely and will stop down for some interesting space news just about any time. Unfortunately, this means I hardly ever pay attention to NASA these days.

Is there anyone out there who understands why we still send space shuttles up? What can they possibly be accomplishing which could come close to justifying the expense of that program? Does anyone think a moon-base is going to result in some sort of scientific breakthrough? I thought the Apollo programs pretty much proved there's nothing of interest on the moon, which is sorta why we haven't been back in 30+ years.

Well, it turns out NASA's priorities are a bit more screwed up than I thought. Gregg Easterbrook (of Tuesday Morning QB fame) has a great article on Wired.com today which spells it out. He's right – the sooner the govt gets out of the space business and lets Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and the rest take over, the sooner we'll start learning again.

Today’s genius joke

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$65,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

It must be summertime

Just in case you weren't sure summer has arrived, check out tonight's TV listings. Topping the list of "Tonight's Best": A pirate reality show and a National Geographic special on the flashlight. I'm not making any of this up.

I am a fan of the flashlight, so perhaps I will tune in for that. Or not.

Hey, it beats watching the Rangers get killed in the Pacific Time zone.

The sun has returned to Texas

Here I am on the forty-something floor of the Bank of America Plaza (which is about the 7^th name of the tallest building in Dallas, the one outlined in green argon at night). I look out the window, and see, for a change, sun. It probably won't last, as big, grey clouds are blowing up to the west, but it's a welcome change from one of the wettest Mays ever here in Big D. Perhaps my recent blogging malaise can be traced to the weather. Or the pollen count. Or Mars' retrograde thru Aquarius (what?).

Hail the sunshine, baby!

Daily YouTube: CNN does its bit for Hezbollah

This is sorta old news - it's from last summer's confrontation between Israel and Hezbollah. You may remember quite a bit about Israel's strikes against "civilian" targets (this from the Hezbollah side) and charges that Hezbollah was stashing its equipment, supplies, and leadership amongst the populace (this from Israel and a whole bunch of video and other documentation).

Here's some yutz from CNN being led by the nose by a Hezbollah PR guy on a tour of civillian neighborhoods hit by those dastardly Israelis

Olmert is currently fighting for his political life, largely because of the fallout from last summer's failed offensive. Neither Israel nor the US seems to get it - these cockroaches fight dirty, and trying to win the PR battle with them is a losing proposition. They are not encumbered by things like morality or concern for their fellow humans, be they strangers, neighbors, or family members. And they'll always find saps like this CNN reporter to help them spread their lies.

Another Suu Kyi "release" date approaches

Nobel laureate and Burmese opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi, who has spent most of the past 20 years under detention of one sort or another, is due to be released from her current stretch of house arrest on May 27. Sorta like Uncle Joey in Back to the Future, it will probably be a waste of time to bake a "Flown the Coop" cake for her, as previous ends-of-terms have been marked by new extensions-of-terms by the fascist thugs masquerading as the Burmese government.

All over Rangoon, dozens of Suu Kyi supporters have held prayer vigils in support of Suu Kyi. And in a country as beaten down and repressed as Burma, dozens of activists doing anything together is a BIG deal.

In addition, the UN and world leaders past and present are urging the generals to release Suu Kyi this time around.

They won't, of course. International "pressure" has never had one iota of impact on the dealings of the Burmese junta. And no wonder, since said "pressure" consists of strongly worded letters and the occasional UN pipsqueak, er, I mean "envoy", rattling the castle gates with a scary note of protest from New York. Shockingly, the military government, which makes millions (billions?) in illegal drug, arms, and timber deals each year, is not impressed with the world community.

Now, if someone discovered oil in the Irrawaddy basin, that would be a different story...

A taste of the Rangers' future

The Rangers are playing, and, after one game, losing, a series against the ridiculous Devil Rays at Disney's BaseballLand (or somesuch) this week. Check out the Tampa papers this week and you'll see no one cares.

The Devil Rays have been awful for years, have never lived up to pre-season expectations, and play in a poorly-located, substandard stadium which has been compared (unfavorably) to everything from an oil-storage facility to a urinal. As a result, they routinely draw 10,000 or fewer in attendance.

While the Ballpark is certainly not substandard, the remainder of the description above (everything between "awful for years" and "poorly-located") definitely applies to our hometown heroes. In the midst of yet another failed campaign peppered with unfulfilled promise and crushed dreams, are we far from the days of comments like, "The Rangers still play here?"

Israel vs. Hezbollah (and Hamas), Round 2

We're all Israel, all the time here at CIT this evening.

Colin Rubenstein, writing in Australia's The Age, predicts a renewal of hostilities between Israel and their playmates Hezbollah (in Lebanon) and Hamas (in Gaza) very soon.

I don't for one second dispute Israel's right to defend itself, especially since the "governments" of these areas don't seem to want to do anything to chill out the terrorists launching rockets from their nations' territory against Israel.

However, the Israelis cannot stop at half measures this time. Either the gloves come all the way off, and this gets prosecuted to resolution, or don't even bother. One would hope that the fallout of last summer's failed bit will have retaught that lesson.

Not quite Mickey Mouse

He looks like Mickey, the high pitch of his voice sorta sounds like Mickey, but this sure as heck isn't Mickey.

Instead, it's "Farfur", a character on a Palestinian kids' TV show. And, while he's talking about love, harmony, and peace, it's the fundamentalist Islamic kind. You know, where everything is wonderful because Allah loves mankind (sotto voce: Because all the unbelievers are dead) and mankind loves Allah (whispered from the back of the room: If they know what's good for them).

The only thing more disturbing than Jihad Mickey is the Palestinian TV network's defense of his program.

BTW, I don't think Little Green Footballs is either fair or unbiased, but neither is CNN. My disclaimer is I am going on faith that the provided translations are accurate. Assuming LGF and their sources are on the up-and-up, this story does sort of tell itself.

The GREAT Emmitt Smith

Here on ESmith's 38th birthday, a link to Frank Luksa's column the day after Smith's greatest game. You remember it. It was January 2, 1994 and Smith ran for 168 yards with a seperated shoulder.

The great ones want it so baadly that NOTHING will stop them.

Not that we have anything to compare to around here these days.

Daily YouTube: Benny Hill offensiveness

Think this would fly today?

Gas is going up, and we're still driving

From our "Not Exactly News" dept: Even though gas prices are approaching the $3/gallon level here in the D/FW Metroplex of Love, and are higher elsewhere, Americans haven't changed their driving habits.

Um, yeah. That's not a surprise. The growth of the exurbs, the scattering of employment centers, and the dearth of public transport in most US cities makes demand for gasoline most inelastic (as we would have said in ECON202 back in the day).

My job is never going to lend itself to public transportation, even if we had something more than little DART. My clients are all over the place, so I"m going to be in the car regardless. Even if that were not the case, I'm 20 miles from the nearest light rail station, and bus transport is not done here in Frisco.

I"m at Exxon/Mobil's mercy. Not pleasant.

All we can hope for is the rising prices make R&D into alternative economically feasible. In the short term, the oil companies and upstanding individuals like Hugo Chavez, Vladimir Putin, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have us over the proverbial barrel.

Daily YouTube: F1 vs. road cars

Here's a couple of rather cool videos. Both are basically the same thing, a relatively current econo-box (a Fiat and a Peugot) vs. a super-hot road car (a Ferrari and a Porsche) vs. a modern F1 car driven by a top driver (the immortal #27 Ferrari with Schumi at the wheel and a McLaren piloted by Hakkinen) on a lap around an F1 course. The roller-skates get a huge headstart, the street rockets start next, followed by the F1 cars WAAAYYYY behind (Schumi's reading the paper, for God's sake).

Needless to say, the F1 cars rocket past the others in both cases.

Daily YouTube: Race a train, will you?

BAD idea:

The Best of Times

While I'm no fan of Belo, I do like the work of some of the boys and girls over there. Today, Todd Davis launches what I hope will be a continuing series of "good old days" posts, rehashing the Stars' run to Stanley Cup glory in 1999, and the Mavs' trip to the Finals last summer.

Go check it out, and check back daily for a trip in the Wayback Machine to the days when being a Dallas sports fan was not an act of masochism.

Daily YouTube: Jordan

In case you had forgotten...



This one goes double. Good times:

It ain’t easy being a Dallas sports fan

OK, I’m finally over my Maverick-induced depression. A little time, a little Prozac, and a lot of cheap wine, and I’m finally ready to address the plight of the Dallas sports fan.

First off, this generalization: Man, we take a LOT of crap.

What did we do to deserve this?

Let’s start with the lowly Rangers. A bad team with no history when they arrived in town in the early 70s (for those of you who didn’t know or had forgotten, the Rangers started life as the Washington Senators and were actually the second go-around for a franchise with that name; the first Senators are now the Twins), the Rangers have given us precious few baseball memories in their 35+ years in Arlington.

Oh, sure, we had those playoff appearances in the late 90s, but the mighty Yankees smashed the life out of the team before the fans even had a chance to get excited.

Other than that, what have we got? Nolan Ryan’s 6th and 7th no-hitters, Ryan’s 5,000th K, Kenny Rogers’ perfecto, and…

Oh, yeah. What am I thinking? We’ve also got that homer off Jose Canseco’s melon in Boston. We’ve got Frankie Francisco’s chair-toss in Oakland. We’ve got Billy Martin rants, Eddie Chiles getting mad, and Bobby V’s restaurant. We’ve got Canseco’s (him again?) pitching appearance, FAILED trades (Eaton and Otsuka for Chris Young and Adrian Gonzales? Wanna do that one over? Or, for that matter, Sundberg for Yost?), idiot free-agent moves (did someone say Pudge Rodriguez was going to break down in 2003?), and BAD BAD BAD signings (Gay-Rod, Mike Henneman, Chan friggin’ Ho friggin’ Park).

We’ve got all that, and more. What am I complaining about?

This year, our hopes are pinned on Kevin Millwood (currently on DL), Eric Gagne (just off the DL and a reclamation project of the highest order), Brandon McCarthy, Mike Young (who seems to have forgotten how to swing a bat), Mark Texeira (TRADE HIM NOW), and assorted other spares. Not to mention passed-over-many-times-in-Oakland Ron Washington, the new, chatty skip.

It’s going to be the longest of long summers. This team, to quote someone who knows a lot more about baseball than me, SUCKS.

The second most lowly team in town is the now-irrelevant Dallas Stars. It’s amazing to me that this franchise, KINGS of the town after winning the Stanley Cup in ’99 and returning to defend (unsuccessfully, but returning nonetheless) in 2000, have dropped so far off the radar. Well, that’s what three straight first-round playoff exits will do for you.

The Stars have kept a nucleus of popular, but under-achieving, players around for YEARS. Mike Modano is cute and skates well (or used to), but his intestinal fortitude is questionable. Dude is the American, ice-skating version of Dirk Nowitzki (more about that in a moment). What’s not to like about Lehtinen, Zubov, Sydor, Morrow, Ott, Robidas, and the rest? They’re all swell guys. But there isn’t a CHAMPION among them. A guy with the killer instinct of Brett Hull, Guy Carbonneau, Mike Keane, Pat Verbeek, or any of the other over-achievers from the Cup team is sorely needed at the Frisco StarsCenter.

And, please, don’t get me started on Marty “The Head Case” Turco. With his strange, cross-eyed stare, Marty is lucky he’s made millions (and will make millions more in the years to come) playing great regular-season hockey. It’s a sad state of affairs when you look back on Ed Belfour as your sanest goalie in the past 10 years.

I’m afraid the best we can hope for in the next few years out of this bunch is for Dave Tippett to regrow his truly awe-inspiring mustache. And Ralphie-n-Razor’s never-tiresome bits.

We’re only halfway home, folks. The real soul-crushing is still ahead of us.

Let’s examine our heroes, the Dallas Cowboys, shall we?

The owners of the longest playoff victory drought in town (yep, you read that right; even the ridiculous Rangers have won a playoff game more recently than the Cowboys, who last won a Wild Card game in Washington in 1996), the Cowboys are well on their way to turning into the Oakland Raiders. A once-dominant team owned by an egomaniac who was in the past a mad genius but has become increasingly erratic and eccentric, the Cowboys, like Al Davis’ Raiders, are quickly fading into NFL obscurity. As coaches come and go, QBs rotate through, each touted as the Savior, and the team grows more faceless and non-descript each year.

Forget about Aikman, Irvin, Smith, Nate Newton, Charles Haley, or Kenny Norton. All the guys with any kind of personality are long gone. Who’s the most interesting dude on this team? Easy – TO Owens, but he’s interesting in a bad way. Who else?

Romo? His girlfriend is a LOT more interesting than he is. And I’m not sold on his ability to be The Man yet, either.

Terry Glenn? The last freckled black man I wanted to listen to was Dennis Johnson, and he’s dead.

Wade Phillips? Wait. Let me cancel my Lunesta prescription.

How am I supposed to get excited about this team? Are they going to be better than last year, when they barely squeaked into the playoffs, only to lose the Wild Card game, again? Well, the Pear Shaped Football Genius is gone, so the condescension and derision (focused on the fans, not the players) ought to be toned down. However, I have no idea why this team would be any better. The draft was underwhelming, free agency was an exercise in paying way too much for very little.

Yippee.

And those little Mavericks. I had retired the “little” last year, but the performance we just witnessed can only be described as “little”. Maybe “gutless”. Or “choke of historic proportions”. Any of those, I guess.

What, in the name of God, went wrong? How does a team handle all comers 67 times in the regular season, only to lose four out of six to the #8 seed? How is this even possible?

How can Dirk Nowitzki get serious MVP consideration, then, in the space of less than two weeks, disappear completely?

How can second-year player Devin Harris be the only guy on this team not scared to go to the rack?

How can big, goofy (but sorta loveable) Don Nelson have his old team’s number so thoroughly? What did he ever do to curry favor with the basketball gods? Or has he been possessed by the ghost of Red Auerbach?

How is it possible that a team coached by Avery Johnson has one guy, one friggin’ guy, who’s still talking when it’s put-up-or-shut-up time? That guy, by the way, is Jerry Stackhouse. The rest of these very little Mavericks ran home to their mommies when it got tough. How did Avery, one of the mentally toughest players ever in the NBA, not vomit his guts out right there on the sideline?

The total give-up we witnessed in that series makes you appreciate guys like Bird, Magic, and Jordan all the more. Guys who had tons of ability, sure, but who also were CHAMPIONS, who refused to lose, who wanted the ball when it came to nut-cuttin’ time, money players, cold-blooded crunch time guys.

There aren’t many of those guys out there. I can’t think of more than a handful going right now. Tiger, of course, leads the list. After that, I guess there’s Tom Brady, Peyton Manning (MAYBE, now that he’s got the monkey off his back – we’ll see), Curt Schilling, Roger Federer, Steve Nash, Tim Duncan, and not many more, if any. Beckham in his day, perhaps. I’m reaching now.

It’s obvious the Mavericks have none of these money guys. Stackhouse has the mental make-up, but no longer has the skills. Dirk has the skills, but not the stuff between his ears or in his chest. Devin Harris may yet be one of those guys, but he’s not there yet.

Many here are saying if the Mavs had played anyone but Golden State in the first round, they would have won. That may be, but Golden State exposed this team’s mental weakness. Even if the Mavs had wiped the floor with the Clippers instead, crunch time was going to come against Utah, PHX/SA, or the East champ. It had to happen. And we now know the Mavs would not have had the stones to stand up. This team folded so badly and so quickly that I really question if they were going to beat anyone, Clippers included, this post season. I can make the argument they would not.

When you take this failure and add it to the failure in Miami last year, the finished picture is not pretty. Oh sure, the Mavs rolled through the regular season like a steamroller. Who cares? That only makes it hurt worse, makes the shock more shocking. We sure thought they were good. Were they really?

The answer to that last question is unequivocally YES. They were good. When the pressure is not on, this team rocks. The skill guys have got skill. Avery Johnson is magic on bench. But add some pressure, and the wheels go flying in all directions.

So, what do you do if you’re Mark (Please Shave That Goatee) Cuban? Blow it up? Stand pat?

I think we’re too close to blow it all up. I think you’ve got a cast with few equals assembled here. Dirk has talent coming out his ears, as do Howard, Harris, and Diop. Stackhouse is a tough guy who I want on my team. Dampier is a functional big man and teams well with Diop. Terry… well, that’s the question, or at least one of them.

Isn’t it interesting that the two best point guards going right now, Nash and Kidd, were both Mavericks once upon a time? I have no idea what to make of that, but the irony is hard to escape.

It’s just as clear that you can’t bring this bunch back intact. Many of the supporting cast turned out to be huge disappointments. Weren’t Devean George, Greg Buckner, and Austin Croshere brought here to provide experience, esp playoff experience? Then how come none of them played more than a few minutes in the Golden State series? If they can’t get on the floor when your team is getting humiliated by an 8 seed, it’s time for them to go.

Similarly, Jason Terry has disappeared too many times. When he’s on, he can be a huge difference maker. But, seriously, how hard is it to find a jump-shooting two guard with questionable heart? This team so desperately needs another guy who doesn’t wet his pants at the thought of driving to the rim, another Manu Ginobilli, a guy who can help Harris break a defense, who can drive and dish, or take it all the way himself. Where do we get one of those?

You’re as set as you can expect in the middle. You’re not going to improve on your rotation of Dampier and Diop.

Down low, you need someone who can play down low. Dirk may never excel at the low post, but he can certainly improve. Howard may do well there. But a real, big-butt power forward is a need as well.

And you need a bench that can play some when the pressure is on. I still don’t get this. The bench contributed during the regular season, and many thought the Mavs were the deepest team in the Association. Depth that was nowhere to be seen against GS.

It’s hard to be hopeful about any of the local teams. The Mavs still seem closest to being a power, but this embarrassment makes you question everything. The Cowboys' only good moves in the past 10 years are the new stadium and getting Parcells out of here. The Rangers are going nowhere, and look bad doing so. And with the Stars, Modano’s fiancé is a lot more interesting to watch than the game on the ice.

Well, there’s always UT football. And card tricks.

Hezbollah’s South American presence

Today’s WaPo has a rather sobering article on Hezbollah’s extensive presence in South America, most notably in the “Tri-Border” region of Argentina, Paraguay, and Brazil. This area, with little to no border control, tons of corruption funded by drug and smuggling money, and home to more Arab immigrants than you might expect, turns out to be fertile ground for Islamic extremism.

This ought to get your attention for two reasons:

1. Whenever I hear the words “terrorists” and “drugs” in the same sentence, I take notice. There is so much cash in illegal drugs that you had better believe the AQ and Hezbollah boys and all their little buddies are clamoring to get into the biz as deeply as they can. And don’t think for one second that Osama and Co’s claims to be devout Muslims (ssshhhhyyyyaaaaa, in my best Wayne Campbell impression) will make them think twice about dealing in those most unholy of substances. I’m quite sure they rationalize it by reminding themselves where most of the crap is sold and who it’s going to kill. I bet they get a big old kick out of that.

2. How hard is it to cross into the US from the south unchallenged by legal authority? Are you serious?

Fortunately, there is an easy solution to this problem, and it’s one that will have ENORMOUS benefits for the US which go WAY beyond just taking a whole lotta starch out of the terrorists. What is it, you ask?

Legalize drugs. Control them, sell them out of government stores, tax the living sh** out of them. But make them legally available.

Don’t laugh and don’t tell me I’m nuts.

I can stop on my way home tonight and legally buy a bottle of 151-proof rum, or 180-proof grain alcohol. Are you seriously going to tell me either of those items is less dangerous and less harmful than clean, uncut narcotics? Is a 12-pack of Coors Light or a carton of Winstons less harmful to my brain, body, and (potentially) my future than a half ounce of weed? A bottle of Belvedere is going to kill me slower than pure cocaine?

It’s all bad. But, for whatever reason, we’re able to make our own decisions about the booze and smokes (and, for that matter, the coffee and trans fat), but not about the dope. I don’t get it.

If the Western world legalized drugs, we’d put 2/3 of the world’s crooks out of business overnight.

No, I’m not high. I really believe it. But it’s not the point of this post.

The point of this post is: We’ve got a problem, a very scary problem, brewing to our south. And that’s just the latest spot. These dudes are good at finding remote, loosely-governed, difficult-terrain spots and putting down some low-tech infrastructure in a big hurry. Southwest Asia, South America, Africa, Southeast Asia, you name it. If the ground is inhospitable, the law enforcement is not, and there’s an international airport within a three-day donkey ride, it’s going to be Jihadistan very soon, if it isn’t already.

How we’ve made it nearly six years without another terrorist All-Star Show is beyond me. Have we been lucky? Good? Good and lucky? I don’t know. It can’t last forever, can it? These jerks are going to ruin another American day somewhere, sometime. Aren’t they?

Then what happens? Do we all cower in our homes? Are all “undesirables” rounded up and shipped off to parts unknown? I’m a Jew; does that make me one of “them”? Or one of “us”?

Holy crap, I could use a bong hit.

Just in case I haven’t been clear

So there’s no mistake, here is my two-part plan for curing the major social, political, and economic issues of our time:

1. Develop viable alternatives to petroleum and fossil fuels in general and implement them worldwide.
2. Legalize drugs worldwide.

Discuss amongst yourselves. Get back to me with your thoughts.

Your pal,

PHE
Founder and CEO
ProblemSolvers LLC

Mavs - Warriors: Don't mess around with the players!

Some exceptionally good advice from Tim MacMahon on today's DMN Mavs Blog. Remember what happened to a few unruly Detroit fans who didn't take Tim's good advice on that out-of-control evening. We don't want a repeat of that fiasco here.

Mavs - Warriors: Not by much

The little Mavs have staved off the hangman's noose for at least another two day, staging a ferocious rally to take Game 5, 119-112.

That's nice. Sure beats the alternative, which we came all too close to seeing.

I don't want to get too negative here, so I'll hold off until the aftermath of Game 6 on Thursday. If we get to Game 7, I'll be firmly back on the bandwagon.

Daily YouTube: KLIF 1190 on 11/22/1963

The Mighty 1190 radio broadcast as it all happened on that day in Dallas...

Mavs - Warriors: Uh-oh

I started writing a post called "Lament of the Dallas Sports Fan", but decided to hold off on full-scale despair for now. That post may yet see the light of day, but not today.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't indulge in some limited despair, however. And last night's 103-99 debacle certainly lends itself to limited (at least) despair.

In a game the Mavs absolutely HAD to have, they brought something. There was fire, there was effort, there were decent performances by Howard and Stackhouse. And that's what makes it so crushing. The Mavs played like they had to have the game, and it wasn't enough.

We'll be by the channel on Tues night for Game 5. I expect a Mavs victory in that one. Will the Mavs turn into last year's Phoenix Suns, and return from the dead? Maybe. But I'll keep my money in my pocket for now, thank you very much.

Daily YouTube: "Entertainment" Burmese-style

From our Theatre of the Surreal series, here's some sort of "show" from a nightclub in Rangoon. Remember, Burma is governed (allegedly) by the most corrupt and repressive regime on Earth. Which sorta explains the looks on these girls' faces, doesn't it?



Just for some equal time, here's Aung San Suu Kyi, Nobel Laureate, leader of Burma's political opposition, and political prisoner for most of the past 20 years, speaking about ASEAN's role in Burma. There isn't much Suu Kyi video out there, so this is worth watching.

It's come to this

Today's comedy joke:

What do you call a mentally disabled person in a fancy suit?

Mr. President.

Daily YouTube: Dallas Stars - Oh. No. Not. Again.

It ain't over yet, but the Stars are trailing 2-1 in the 3rd, as Trevor Linden has just scored again. It's looking like yet another first round playoff exit.

Remember the Salad Days of hockey in Dallas? It was 1999, and life was good:




Correction: It is over. What a disappointment.

Today's "Gay or Not Gay"

Submit your votes now.

Mavs - Warriors Game 1: THUD!

I'm still not sure what we witnessed last night, as the Warriors beat the Mavs 97-85 in Game 1. Didn't the Mavs have the best record in the NBA? Didn't Golden State barely squeak into the playoffs?

When did we land in Bizarro-World?

The Mavs abandoned their game, trying to match Don Nelson's small-ball lineup. No one played well, and a few (Dirk Nowtizki and Jerry Stackhouse, I'm looking at you both) didn't show up at all.

It's FAR too early to hit the panic button, and I'm predicting the Mavs to sweep the rest of the series, but what a way to start.

The worst part is that friggin' Don Nelson, strutting around in his hipster sport coat and t-shirt and his ultra-gel hair. I know, I know - he rebuilt this franchise and we all should be grateful. You know what, I'm over that. I really dislike the guy now. And I'd love to see Avery Johnson cram it right up "Nellie's" wazoo.

Mavs - Warriors; Game 1, first half: WTF???

The Mavs and Warriors are tied 38-38 after the first half of Game 1. The Mavs are shooting 29%.

I'm guessing Avery Johnson did the calm, it's-gonna-get-better bit with his players in the locker room during the half. It will get better. It has to.

Doesn't it?

BTW - if you're looking for blow-by-blow blog coverage, you aren't going to get it here at little CIT. You will, however, get it and a whole lot more at the DMN Mavs blog.

FINALLY - NBA playoffs are here

More about the NBA in coming days. All I've got time for right now is: Thank the sweet, clean Lord God Almighty the playoffs are finally here.

Go Mavs!

The dumbest dude on Earth

Part—time Boston University student Andrew Rosenblum, age 20 and, unfortunately for the rest of us, apparently Jewish, made complete jackass out of himself last week when he emailed a former paramour that he was going to kill her, her friends, and himself. “It’s gonna be VT (Viriginia Tech) all over again,” he boasted in the email.

What a friggin’ IDIOT!

Needless to say, the stalkee went straight to the police with the emails, Rosenblum was arrested toot-sweet, and is now being held in lieu of $50,000 cash bail and ordered to remain under house arrest and wear a 24-hour GPS monitoring device if he posts bail. He would only be allowed to leave his home with an escort when visiting his doctor or attorney.

Seriously, how stupid to you have to be to, first make a threat like this, and second to make said threat IN WRITING? And he did it on Monday night, less than 12 hours after the carnage in Blacksburg.

This guy is going to get the book thrown at him, and he deserves whatever he gets. Moron!

Mavs - Warriors: Let the trash talking begin

Nice little war of words (sorta) between DMN's Mavs Blog (good readin', btw) and Golden State of Mind (HIYO!).

Golden State of Mind does seem to have a pretty good handle on where the Warriors rank in the scheme of things. Case in point, the GSM Motto:

'UNSTOPPABLE, BABY!' - Golden State Warriors rookie Marc Jackson to the
Mavericks' bench, after hitting a lay-up during a 29-point loss (2000).

I'm going to stop in regularly to see what they have to say.

I LOVE this time of year!

Google Apps - taking the plunge

Google has recently unleashed a torrent of online applications which aim to supplant desktop office suites (like the incredibly bloated and over-priced Microsoft Office Professional 2007, of which I am a supporter - can't you tell?). With Google Docs & Spreadsheets, Gmail, Google Talk, Google Page Creator, Picassa, and a slew of other tools, you can now do just about everything from your browser, and save your hard disk for photos, music, ebooks, porn, or whatever your little heart desires.

Sounds brilliant, right?

Well, maybe.

Wired News editor Michael Calore went cold turkey, dropping his desktop apps and going exclusively with the Google online suite. He's got some good things to say, but it isn't all beer and skittles.

By the way, I'm posting from Google Docs & Spreadsheets for the past week or so. Word 2007 has a blogging feature, but it works for crap with Blogger (a Google product, go figure). So I thought a Google online app ought to be fairly seamless with another Google service. I'm going to stick with it for a while, because I think it will eventually work and some of my problems may be operator error, but right now, I have to tell you, NOT THAT GREAT. In fact, pretty darn frustrating.

Daily YouTube: No WAY!

This is truly amazing. And its safe for the kids, I promise.

glumbert.com - Pavement just isn't good enough for trial bikers

VA Tech shootings

My take, for the record.

I really don't have much to say on this one, beyond the obvious "it's a terrible tragedy" and "my most heartfelt condolences go out to the victims, their families, and the entire VA Tech community."

There's already a whole bunch being said about the University's "slow" response to the original shootings in the dorm, two hours before the unbelievable carnage took place in Norris Hall. I think this is hindsight and the overwhelming human need to blame someone, and I think it will fade shortly. It's difficult for me to see what the University could reasonably be expected to do in response to two isolated shootings in a dorm room. Should they have locked down the entire campus? Cancelled everything? That's obviously tremendously disrupting and extremely hard to do, what with some students driving in, others rolling out of bed and going straight to class (remember those days?), and classes already underway. I don't think it's a reasonable expectation, given what was known prior to gunfire starting in the classrooms. Now, its obvious. Then, not so much.

We'll hear plenty from the anti-gun lobby: How could this foreign national have obtained handguns? If handguns were illegal, this never would have happened. And we'll hear plenty from the other side, who will want to know what would have happened if the professors and/or students had been legally carrying concealed weapons.

Both sides miss the point, in my opinion.

Once a person decides he/she is ready to die, and wants to take as many others with him/her as possible, there isn't much anyone can do. Whether its a handgun, a Kalashnikov, a Semtex-and-roofing-nails body suit, a fully-fueled American Airlines 767, or an Abu Fayed -autograph-model suitcase nuke, once a person decides to make the ultimate statement (political, personal, religious, or otherwise), he/she is probably not going to worry about any deterrent, be it legal, physical, or emotional.

The day is coming when college students wear IDs on lanyards around their necks, just like most of Corporate America does today. It won't surprise me to see metal detectors and bag searches at all public building entrances as well. None of those things are bad ideas, none of them infringe on your rights all that much, and all of them represent the state of our world today.

Do you think that will make us totally safe?

You do? Can we talk about some real estate I'd like to show you?

French presidential elections – Some hope for US-France relations?

The upcoming French presidential election holds some hope for the long-troubled US-France relationship. Conservative Nicolas Sarkozy is well ahead in the polls, to the point that the French version of David Duke, good old Jean-Marie Le Pen, is calling him a “scum politician’. Anyone who Le Pen hates this much can’t be all bad.

And Sarkozy is, indeed, not bad at all. A realist (all too rare in France), Sarkozy favors, among other things, a more Anglo-American economic system to replace the suffocatingly inefficient and restrictive, worst-of-both-worlds, Froggie-branded socialism which has led to huge unemployment numbers and regularly-scheduled working class riots; a more active French role in the war on terror; and a solution to the problem of radical Islam spreading throughout western Europe.

Sarkozy is the guy Americans should be pulling for. Quietly, though. At this point, US endorsement is probably the kiss of death to most politicians around the world. But that’s another post for another day.

A Sarkozy victory in France could well be a turning point, not only in Franco-American relations, but in the modern history of Western Europe. If the traditionally leftist French begin to admit the failure of their Socialist policies and begin to swing more to the center, it could lead to a similar (although more subtle, because they have less far to swing) German move center-wards. If France and Germany begin to move away from their failed Socialist systems, the waaaayyyy-left Italians would find themselves singing solo. In addition, one would assume that some solid, realistic economic policies would have near-instantaneous, positive impact on the moribund French economy. An even-slightly resurgent France would do wonders for the stagnant EU.

There are lots of “ifs” and “maybes” in the paragraph above, but the alternatives – a National Socialist France under the unhinged Hitler-wannabe Le Pen, or a further descent into the Peoples’ Republic of France under mega-Socialist (and somewhat hot) Segolene Royal – are bleak. Don’t forget, Sarkozy is well ahead in most French polls, so the part about him winning is certainly well within the realm of possibility, if not probability, even if the rest of the conjecture above will have to be seen to be believed.

Go, Sarkozy. Too bad “Sarkozy” doesn’t rhyme with anything in English – it’s tough to come up with a good campaign slogan. Regardless, phone all your pals Over There and give them the good news.

Boy, ain’t this the truth?

The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.

- Samuel McChord Crothers

NOW I understand Sanjaya's appeal

This is NOT family friendly. But it does explain a lot.

Daily YouTube: Microsoft humor

Um, I think they're kidding. But, I'm not completely sure. You decide:

Ode to Drewzilla

Drew Bledsoe hung it up yesterday, retiring from the NFL after 14 steadfast and professional years in three different unis.

Bledsoe probably never did quite live up to his billing. A prototype physical specimen, he had some truly outstanding years in New England and Buffalo, but inconsistency, lack of talent around him, and perhaps a bit too much faith in his own skills prevented him from attaining the top of the mountain.

Drew came to Dallas two years ago as the next big hope. After several years spent looking for an adequate replacement for Hall of Famer Troy Aikman, the Cowboys saw Bledsoe as a viable, medium-term answer. It's clear now that the Pear Shaped Football Genius had plans for Tony Romo even then, but put his faith in one of his guys from the NE days. In his first year in Dallas, Bledsoe showed flashes of brilliance, and the hope was, with a retooled offensive line opening up what should have been a competent rushing attack and giving the immobile Bledsoe time to check off, the second year would be even better.

Alas, it was not to be. I still think the Cowboy offensive line underachieved, and the running tandem of Jones and Barber is over-rated, but it became clear early on that Bledsoe's skills and confidence had eroded to a point where it just wasn't going to work. He further hurt his cause by freezing out TO Owens (which, in retrospect, may not have been all that bad an idea) and, by the sixth game of the season, patience wore out. For the third time in his career, Bledsoe found himself passed over for the young guy.

Bledsoe won't be remembered much, and when his name does come up, it will be in the company of second tier guys like Bert Jones, Richard Todd, Billy Kilmer, Randall Cunningham, and others. Personally, I'd place him above any of those just based on Bledsoe's professionalism, community involvement, and general good-guyness.

Best of luck to you in your life after football, Drew. I'm sorry to see you go.

Daily YouTube: Beautiful Rhodesia

From our Theatre of the Surreal, today's entry is a series of home movie clips and patriotic songs from that idyllic moment in time: Rhodesia in the early 1970s.

Stick around for the end, where there's lots of mention of Rhodesia's "men of good quality" and those evildoers who sponsored the birth of Zimbabwe, referred to as "people of poor quality". Not too difficult to figure out the meaning behind those words, is it?

Hard to believe it was just 30 years ago...

Top 10 most under-rated US cities

As a fan of the Top 10 list in almost any form (most of my wedding/birthday/retirement/etc party schtick is in the form of a Top 10), I was drawn to an article on MSNBC tonight entitled, "Top 10 Most Under-rated US Cities". I've travelled this great land of ours pretty extensively, and I was curious to see how the list stacked up against my experience.

MSNBC's list (actually picked up from ShermansTravel.com, whoever they are) reads thusly:

1. Baltimore
2. Ft. Lauderdale
3. Houston
4. Kansas City
5. Louisville
6. Minneapolis
7. Pittsburgh
8. Portland
9. Providence
10. Sacramento

This is total crap list.

Baltimore? OK, I'm kinda down with that. The Inner Harbor is cool, the newish baseball stadium is cool. I can live with that. Maybe not number 1, but up there.

Ft. Lauderdale? Again, not too upset with this. The beach makes up for a lot, and it's definitely not the Spring Break dump it was back in the day.

Houston? WTF? I'm out right here. I am currently IN Houston, so I think I speak with some authority. This town SUCKS. It's way better than it used to be: The omni-present road construction is largely complete, and the area around Minute Maid Park (I still want to call it Enron Field) is going to be pretty good once some more stuff gets built here. But, the traffic is God-awful, the climate is akin to a malaria swamp, and LARGE parts of the city are falling apart. Again, WTF? Number 3? You have GOT to be kidding

Kansas City? Well, OK. Maybe. The downtown area is nice and compact, and you certainly can't beat the BBQ. But the utterly decrepit baseball stadium ought to rule it out right away.

Louisville? The city I've spent the least time in, so I can't really comment. Seems like a stretch, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Minneapolis? I can live with this one, if you include St. Paul. The climate rules against it, although summer is nice. It would be a lot nicer if it was warm more than three months a year though. And the Mall of America has GOT to go!

Pittsburgh? I don't have a lot of experience with this one, but based on the little I know, I'll go along with this.

Portland? Heck yes. I'm behind this one 100%. It ought to be higher.

Providence? Another one I can get behind. I'm out on the local accent and the preponderance of the color brown (in honor of the university, one assumes). But, overall, OK.

Sacramento? Another WTF? If you're looking for pre-fab, anonymous cities, go someplace like Phoenix or Dallas. They're much more affordable and offer much more to do.

One has to ask, where is Ft Worth? How about Austin? San Antonio? Or outside of Texas, how about San Diego, Tampa, Charleston, Santa Fe, or even Little Rock? None of those get props as "Big Cities", but all have some GREAT stuff going for them.

Well, that's the fun of Top 10 lists. I'm open to other suggestions as well.

Daily YouTube: Some fairly intense video

Here's a heavy-duty bit of video: KBR (the former Halliburton sub which is the main US contractor in the "rebuilding" of Iraq and Afghanistan, and a company I have become quite familiar with lately - more about that another day) truck convoys criss-cross Iraq, carrying all sorts of supplies and goods. Here's a convoy that made a VERY wrong turn.

WARNING: Not for the faint of heart, and ABSOLUTELY not for kids.

A missive from Edinburgh

From the World's Best-Named Band. If you're in the neighborhood on Friday, please do stop by, and tell the lads I said "howdy":

Just a quick reminder that our gig at the Liquid Room on the 13th is fast approaching and we'd like as many of you to come along as possible. The band are now in possesion of tickets. Reply to this message with TICKETS in the subject line and we can put some aside for you. Failing that, you can also pay at the door on the night.

Cheers,

Elkin

Today's comedy joke

From Comedy Central:

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.

"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, Dad -- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."

"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and..."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."

The crap we waste time on

Between Anna Nicole's baby-daddy, Don Imus' feeble attempt to remain (become?) relevant, and Sanjaya, I'm embarrassed to be an American lately.

Um, war? Middle East? Iran's industrial-strength, "peaceful" uranium enrichment program? Collapse in the sub-prime mortgage market? Anyone? Anyone at all?

My head hurts.

Back from the dead

Hey now.

For those of you who feared for my safety and sanity (and there were a few of you, for whom I am grateful), please be assured I am physically and mentally fit as ever.

Which is, admittedly, not saying much. On either front.

My absence is due to nothing more than apathy and inertia. But I have overcome both of those constants of the universe, and hope to be present here in these pages more frequently.