Monday, March 31, 2008

Today's funny ha-ha

Sorry for the lax posting lately. I've been commuting to Ft. Worth (120 miles round trip), and Blogger has been giving me problems, killing what little free time I have.

At any rate, a few doozies from the Homeland for you today.

First:

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream is now available in Israel in the following flavors:

- Wailing Wallnut
- Moishemellow
- Mazel Toffee
- Chazalnut
- Oy Ge-malt
- Mi Ka-mocha
- Bernard Malamint
- Berry Pr'i Hagafen
- Choc-Eilat Chip
- Simchas T'Oreo

It should be noted that all of these flavors come in either a cup or a Cohen.......

Number 2:

Leah gives 25 cents to her daughter Sarah. The little girl goes outside and returns ten minutes later without the coin. Wondering what she has done with the money, Leah asks, "Where is the quarter I gave you, my darling?"

"I gave it to an old lady," says Sarah.

"Oh, I'm so proud of you Sarah. That's a very important mitzvah you did. Tomorrow I am going to give you a dollar."

Sure enough, the next day, Leah gives Sarah a whole dollar and she returns a little while later without the bill.

"What did you do with the dollar today Sarah?"

"Today I saw the same old lady," begins Sarah as her mother beams at her, "and I gave her a whole dollar for an even bigger ice cream. I love performing the mitzvah of eating ice cream."

And numero tres:

"I'm getting operated on tomorrow."

"Oh? What are they going to do?"

"Circumcise me!"

"I had that done when I was just a few days old."

"Does it hurt?"

"I couldn't walk for a year!"

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