Don't worry about it being Week 4 in the colleges and Week 3 in the pros. It's time to resume this most popular CIT feature.
I'm so excited.
Enough Pointer Sisters references. Onward!
Colleges
South Carolina (+16.5) @ LSU - I'll admit Steve Spurrier is a far better college coach than he was an NFL coach, and I'll further admit he's got the Gamecocks (uncomfortable) well along on the road to respectability. But (you knew that was coming), this is LSU. Those boys from the swamp play a bit of defense, and their offense ain't too shabby either, cher. This one looks like a blowout to me.
Georgia (+3.5) @ Alabama - What a glorious Redneck Game of the Week this one is! If you're a fan of SEC football, Southern hospitality, and a unnaturally small gene pool, this one is for you. Give me that Crimson Tide to cover, and recycled #8 Budweiser shirts over the new #88 Amp merch by about 4 touchdowns.
SMU (+21) @ TCU - No one outside of Dallas/Ft Worth, and precious few in the area, give a rat's patoot about this one. Poor SMU. You will never see the NCAA hand out the Death Penalty again. With all that said, SMU does seem to give TCU a bit of a tussle every year, and 21 points is a bunch. TCU wins easily, but not that easily.
Michigan St @ Notre Dame (+12.5) - It makes me smile to see both Notre Dame and Michigan suck so hard. Think NBC is diggin' that TV contract about now? Touchdown Jesus is taking Yom Kippur off. And speaking of Spartans, did you see 300...?
Rice (+38.5) @ Texas - I'm a Burnt Orange kind of guy, but what on Earth has Texas done to deserve 38 points against ANYONE? I don't doubt the 'Horns win, and by a bunch. But 38? I'll take some of that, please.
Penn St @ Michigan (+3) - Do the Wolverines play games on the road anymore? Just wondering. What used to be a classic is now a snoozer of the highest order. How much worse can it get in Ann Arbor? Quite a lot, I think. the thrashing continues at the hands of the Nittany Lions and the eternally overrated Joe Paterno.
Florida Atlantic @ North Texas (+6.5) - Todd Dodge is going to turn that Mean Green program around, and they may one day be the Florida Atlantic of Texas, but not yet. Anyway, since they tore down Frye St., Denton just isn't the same.
Boston University vs. Josh Beckett's 20th win - Dude should have been a Ranger.
Look forward to next week's Football Friday, when we resume taking shots at A&M.
Pros
Detroit (+6) @ Philadelphia - Don't look now, but Donovan McNab has lost it. I can't tell if he's still recovering from last year's injury, trying to avoid this year's injury, or has just lost the touch, but he looked BAD on Monday night. And while you're not looking, Detroit sorta seems to be going in the right direction. I know, I know. It's Detroit. And one of their wins came across the truly horrible Raiders. I still think I like the points here.
San Diego @ Green Bay (+4.5) - Norv Turner can't screw up a team this badly this quickly, can he? I mean, he needs more time to completely knock the wheels off a team as good as San D? Right? And who the heck does Green Bay have? The Chargers have to cover this one, don't they?
Tennessee (+4) @ New Orleans - One thing I can definitely predict is that ESPN will show us approximately 45 minutes worth of Rose Bowl highlights during Monday's telecast. The Vince-vs.-Reggie Bush angle will be so overplayed that you'll be drooling on yourself by the time a burnt-orange-and-white-clad Vince scampers into the end zone. As for this game, New Orleans has to win it. Going 0-3 will just reaffirm the bad mojo that's hung over this franchise for the past 25 years.
NYG (+4) @ Washington - Oof. Both of these teams are bad. The NFC East is easily the most overrated division in the league, every year, and this year anything the Cowboys might have (which remains to be seen) is more than offset by the stench coming out of East Rutherford and Landover. Someone has to win, I guess, but neither of these teams are going anywhere this year. I suppose I'll take the points to go with the Dramamine.
Dallas (+3) @ Chicago - On one hand, here's a potentially great offense (I'm not a believer quite yet, but you do have to like what Romo, Garrett, & Co have shown so far) against one of the top 3 defenses in the league. On the other, you've got an inept, Rex Grossman-led offense vs a very, very suspect defense (I'm sorry, but last week's domination of Miami proved nothing - Trent Green has no business being a starting QB anywhere). I can't really believe I'm saying this, but I think the Cowboys can score on the Bear defense, and I don't think Chicago's offense could score 14 points on Frisco Wakefield High School.
Comedic Value Game of the Week - Cleveland @ Oakland - On the other hand, Frisco Wakefield could probably pound either one of these teams. Which fans annoy you more - the Mad Max-ripoff artists in the "Black Hole", or the idiots in the dog masks?
Go (insert your team here)!
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