Ten minutes of pure genius with Entourage's Ari Gold.
Note: Language warning of the HIGHEST order.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Good quote for a Monday
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
-Unkown
or, if you prefer:
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
-Double Unknown
-Unkown
or, if you prefer:
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
-Double Unknown
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Daily YouTube: The Clash
Funny how time changes things. I loved The Clash back in the day, but hesitated to go see them as their shows tended to turn into the musical version of English football riots. If they were to tour today, tickets would be $150 apiece and they're be an AARP discount.
I should have nutted up, bought a set of brass knuckles, and gone to a show in 1985.
I should have nutted up, bought a set of brass knuckles, and gone to a show in 1985.
Top 5 70s kid activities
If you do the math, you quickly realize that I am a child of the 70s. That is, of course, if you’re interested in my childhood, math, or both. Which you are not. Well, maybe the math.
Whatever.
Since this blog is the Petey Show, it doesn’t really matter if you’re interested. As long as I am.
I digress.
So, child of the 70s. We got that far. I was reminiscing not so long ago (in fact, I believe it was in the “Deploying Windows Vista to the Desktop” session at Microsoft’s big Vista/Office 2007 Launch event at the Dallas Convention Center this past Wed) on the things I did as a little kid, and how different they are from my own kids’ activities. So, perhaps for my kids’ benefit, maybe for my own, here are the Top 5 (or so – I had to cheat again) Little Kid Activities from the 1970s:
5. Playing “Emergency” on our bicycles
The two cool kids would get to be the paramedics from Squad 51 (a little help on the names of the characters - I got nothing) the spares would be the guys from Engine 51. We’d just hang out on the front steps of someone’s house, trying to reproduce fireman-talk, until someone would honk out that annoying EEEEE-OOOOP-GAAAAAAA signal and off we’d go, pedaling our three-speed and five-speed Schwinns like lunatics, towards the scene of some made up disaster or colossal car wreck or somesuch
4. Baseball in the park
There was a drained wading pool in the park across the street, which, come to think of it, I never remember having water in it, even in the middle of the summer. That pool was a perfect infield, and, since ground-level was maybe two feet above the bottom of the pool, it was an easy jump up to the outfield. A wood bat, a baseball that had been white in the waning years of the Eisenhower Administration but was now only a slightly lighter shade of brown than the dirt, and my uncle’s glove which had been top-of-the-line when he got it in 1952 – I had all the gear. Amazingly, we needed only about three kids per team.
3. (tie) Doing anything in the basement
Our tiny little house had one huge redeeming feature – a basement. One half was unfinished and held the washer and dryer, the furnace, and dad’s tool bench. The other side was finished and was kid-land. We had a 19-inch (or so) Zenith black and white TV which got about two channels, an enormous German (WEST German, if you can remember back that far – very confusing for a kid) console hi-fi that dad had brought back from the Army days, a couple of chairs, and a table or two down there. I vaguely remember Lincoln Logs, Hot Wheels track, and a wooden train set, but it was imagination that made the place run.
3. (tie) Buying ice cream from the Good Humor man
Back in the day, the ice cream man drove a clean, white truck and was generally a clean, white guy. I’m sure half of them were child predators, but remember, this was in the days when a kid’s place was outside, away from the house, as much as possible, because there was NOTHING to be afraid of, except maybe the psycho Irish kids on the next block. Whatever. The nice, clean, white Good Humor truck (or one of the competitors, I can’t remember any of their names) would come up the street by the park, with that annoying little jingle-bell music going – it sure wasn’t annoying to a six-year-old, it was the World’s Greatest Sound – and would pull up right there by where we were doing our kid bit. As soon as you heard the music, you dropped whatever you were doing and ran your ass off to the spot where he always stopped. He’d come back to the big window on the side of the truck, wearing his nice white Good Humor uni, the white hat with the shiny black brim, the silver change dispenser clipped to his black belt, and one at a time, we’d ask (hell, scream) for our favorites. I remember Fudgsicles, Dreamsicles (orange ice with some sort of cream inside), and multi-colored rocket-pops. I’m sure there was much more to choose from, but that’s all that pops into my tired old brain now. Great stuff. No ice cream on Earth tastes like that now.
3. (tie) Listening to my AM radio late at night
I got a little, white AM clock radio when I was a little kid, and the world completely changed for me. I stopped sleeping and turned into a radio junkie. I’d lie awake, turning the tuning dial and pulling in clear-channel stations from all over, catching ABA games from exotic places like Dallas and Richmond, hockey games from Madison Square Garden and the Nassau Coliseum. I discovered country music (really strange for a first grader in New Jersey), sports broadcasting, news (clearest memories: Vietnam and Northern Ireland), the wacky radio contest (I was sure I was going to win a Thanksgiving turkey on year), and all sorts of other stuff. A formative experience.
2. Playing “French Resistance” around the neighborhood
The boundaries were basically the four or five contiguous houses on our side of the street, and the rule was if you got “shot”, you had to count to 30 before you could rejoin the game. This was good for HOURS of entertainment. We’d play from morning til late late in the day, when the light got long, the green of the trees and grass got deeper, the ground got cool. By the time we quit, it would be so dark you couldn’t tell if the kid who just came around the corner of the house was on your team or not until you got 5 feet from him. The funny thing was how we’d all drop the toy guns the instant an older kid stopped by. I didn’t understand why we did that (I still don’t), but we all did without anyone having to say anything.
1. Swimming ANYWHERE
We had a pool in the yard when we moved to Texas. Before that, it could be a pool, a lake, the ocean, a deep puddle, it didn’t matter – going swimming anywhere was the coolest thing you could possibly do. It didn’t matter if you could swim or not, just being in the water was awesome (an aside: I can’t remember what adjectives we used them; “cool” was still a hippie word and we’d have needed a dictionary to tell you what “awesome” meant – I totally cannot remember what we’d call something really good). Even the backyard kiddie pool was a treat, as long as there were lots of plastic boats handy. And it was always a fight when it was time to get out.
Some other activities that pour out in a stream of consciousness:
- Flipping baseball cards
- Throwing the football with dad in the park
- Saturday morning cartoons, of course
- Trying spinach because Popeye ate it, then wondering what the hell was wrong with that insane sailor
- Bug hunts, especially for fireflies (remember those, from the days before Dursban?)
- Board games – Monopoly, Clue, and The Game of Life were biggies
- Riding my bicycle up and down the street for hours
- Bowling
- War movies
- John Wayne
- Staying up really late to watch Saturday Night Live and Don Kirshner’s Rock Concert
- Passing notes back and forth in school – IM in the pre-computer days (and the first school-related memory – what does that mean?)
- Sleeping over at friends’ houses, trying to get their family vibe down, then sneaking out at 3:00 in the morning to do some petty vandalism. The first time I stayed up all night was probably 5th grade and it almost killed me
Whatever.
Since this blog is the Petey Show, it doesn’t really matter if you’re interested. As long as I am.
I digress.
So, child of the 70s. We got that far. I was reminiscing not so long ago (in fact, I believe it was in the “Deploying Windows Vista to the Desktop” session at Microsoft’s big Vista/Office 2007 Launch event at the Dallas Convention Center this past Wed) on the things I did as a little kid, and how different they are from my own kids’ activities. So, perhaps for my kids’ benefit, maybe for my own, here are the Top 5 (or so – I had to cheat again) Little Kid Activities from the 1970s:
5. Playing “Emergency” on our bicycles
The two cool kids would get to be the paramedics from Squad 51 (a little help on the names of the characters - I got nothing) the spares would be the guys from Engine 51. We’d just hang out on the front steps of someone’s house, trying to reproduce fireman-talk, until someone would honk out that annoying EEEEE-OOOOP-GAAAAAAA signal and off we’d go, pedaling our three-speed and five-speed Schwinns like lunatics, towards the scene of some made up disaster or colossal car wreck or somesuch
4. Baseball in the park
There was a drained wading pool in the park across the street, which, come to think of it, I never remember having water in it, even in the middle of the summer. That pool was a perfect infield, and, since ground-level was maybe two feet above the bottom of the pool, it was an easy jump up to the outfield. A wood bat, a baseball that had been white in the waning years of the Eisenhower Administration but was now only a slightly lighter shade of brown than the dirt, and my uncle’s glove which had been top-of-the-line when he got it in 1952 – I had all the gear. Amazingly, we needed only about three kids per team.
3. (tie) Doing anything in the basement
Our tiny little house had one huge redeeming feature – a basement. One half was unfinished and held the washer and dryer, the furnace, and dad’s tool bench. The other side was finished and was kid-land. We had a 19-inch (or so) Zenith black and white TV which got about two channels, an enormous German (WEST German, if you can remember back that far – very confusing for a kid) console hi-fi that dad had brought back from the Army days, a couple of chairs, and a table or two down there. I vaguely remember Lincoln Logs, Hot Wheels track, and a wooden train set, but it was imagination that made the place run.
3. (tie) Buying ice cream from the Good Humor man
Back in the day, the ice cream man drove a clean, white truck and was generally a clean, white guy. I’m sure half of them were child predators, but remember, this was in the days when a kid’s place was outside, away from the house, as much as possible, because there was NOTHING to be afraid of, except maybe the psycho Irish kids on the next block. Whatever. The nice, clean, white Good Humor truck (or one of the competitors, I can’t remember any of their names) would come up the street by the park, with that annoying little jingle-bell music going – it sure wasn’t annoying to a six-year-old, it was the World’s Greatest Sound – and would pull up right there by where we were doing our kid bit. As soon as you heard the music, you dropped whatever you were doing and ran your ass off to the spot where he always stopped. He’d come back to the big window on the side of the truck, wearing his nice white Good Humor uni, the white hat with the shiny black brim, the silver change dispenser clipped to his black belt, and one at a time, we’d ask (hell, scream) for our favorites. I remember Fudgsicles, Dreamsicles (orange ice with some sort of cream inside), and multi-colored rocket-pops. I’m sure there was much more to choose from, but that’s all that pops into my tired old brain now. Great stuff. No ice cream on Earth tastes like that now.
3. (tie) Listening to my AM radio late at night
I got a little, white AM clock radio when I was a little kid, and the world completely changed for me. I stopped sleeping and turned into a radio junkie. I’d lie awake, turning the tuning dial and pulling in clear-channel stations from all over, catching ABA games from exotic places like Dallas and Richmond, hockey games from Madison Square Garden and the Nassau Coliseum. I discovered country music (really strange for a first grader in New Jersey), sports broadcasting, news (clearest memories: Vietnam and Northern Ireland), the wacky radio contest (I was sure I was going to win a Thanksgiving turkey on year), and all sorts of other stuff. A formative experience.
2. Playing “French Resistance” around the neighborhood
The boundaries were basically the four or five contiguous houses on our side of the street, and the rule was if you got “shot”, you had to count to 30 before you could rejoin the game. This was good for HOURS of entertainment. We’d play from morning til late late in the day, when the light got long, the green of the trees and grass got deeper, the ground got cool. By the time we quit, it would be so dark you couldn’t tell if the kid who just came around the corner of the house was on your team or not until you got 5 feet from him. The funny thing was how we’d all drop the toy guns the instant an older kid stopped by. I didn’t understand why we did that (I still don’t), but we all did without anyone having to say anything.
1. Swimming ANYWHERE
We had a pool in the yard when we moved to Texas. Before that, it could be a pool, a lake, the ocean, a deep puddle, it didn’t matter – going swimming anywhere was the coolest thing you could possibly do. It didn’t matter if you could swim or not, just being in the water was awesome (an aside: I can’t remember what adjectives we used them; “cool” was still a hippie word and we’d have needed a dictionary to tell you what “awesome” meant – I totally cannot remember what we’d call something really good). Even the backyard kiddie pool was a treat, as long as there were lots of plastic boats handy. And it was always a fight when it was time to get out.
Some other activities that pour out in a stream of consciousness:
- Flipping baseball cards
- Throwing the football with dad in the park
- Saturday morning cartoons, of course
- Trying spinach because Popeye ate it, then wondering what the hell was wrong with that insane sailor
- Bug hunts, especially for fireflies (remember those, from the days before Dursban?)
- Board games – Monopoly, Clue, and The Game of Life were biggies
- Riding my bicycle up and down the street for hours
- Bowling
- War movies
- John Wayne
- Staying up really late to watch Saturday Night Live and Don Kirshner’s Rock Concert
- Passing notes back and forth in school – IM in the pre-computer days (and the first school-related memory – what does that mean?)
- Sleeping over at friends’ houses, trying to get their family vibe down, then sneaking out at 3:00 in the morning to do some petty vandalism. The first time I stayed up all night was probably 5th grade and it almost killed me
Gordon Keith Show #2
Ol' Gordo makes the over by producing a second show. Go check it out here.
Still gay, by the way. But funny.
Still gay, by the way. But funny.
Protest in Burma, such as it is
At least four people were arrested for participating in one of the rarest spectacles in all of humandom: A public protest in the streets of Yangon.
About 15 placard-waving protestors took to the streets on Thurs afternoon, demanding outrageous things like lower inflation and stable supply of electricity. Those rotten subversives.
In case you didn’t know (or had forgotten), the Burmese have been under military rule since the 60s, and are one of the most repressed populaces in the world. You can pretty much tell how repressed by this story – 15 people stage a street protest and it makes BBC’s front page.
About 15 placard-waving protestors took to the streets on Thurs afternoon, demanding outrageous things like lower inflation and stable supply of electricity. Those rotten subversives.
In case you didn’t know (or had forgotten), the Burmese have been under military rule since the 60s, and are one of the most repressed populaces in the world. You can pretty much tell how repressed by this story – 15 people stage a street protest and it makes BBC’s front page.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Palestinian statehood – Boston Globe says “I don’t think so”
Jeff Jacoby, writing in the Globe Op-Ed section, wonders “… has any population ever been less suited for statehood than the Palestinians?”
He goes on to answer his own question with a resounding “no”.
To say this piece is uncharitable towards the Palestinians is like saying PW Botha was uncharitable towards blacks. However, I think it’s pretty accurate.
The Palestinians have had a defacto state in Gaza since 2005. Are you ready to fill out the change-of-address cards and move the family there? No? Are you, perhaps, a little concerned about the non-stop Palestinian-on-Palestinian violence? Are you worried about the abject poverty and near-hopeless economic situation, despite the billions of dollars in international aid delivered to the PA over the past few years? Are you a little depressed about the seeming non-existence of a competent, rational group or individual in leadership?
Yep, those Palestinians sure are doing a great job with their state, aren’t they?
Read the whole thing!
He goes on to answer his own question with a resounding “no”.
To say this piece is uncharitable towards the Palestinians is like saying PW Botha was uncharitable towards blacks. However, I think it’s pretty accurate.
The Palestinians have had a defacto state in Gaza since 2005. Are you ready to fill out the change-of-address cards and move the family there? No? Are you, perhaps, a little concerned about the non-stop Palestinian-on-Palestinian violence? Are you worried about the abject poverty and near-hopeless economic situation, despite the billions of dollars in international aid delivered to the PA over the past few years? Are you a little depressed about the seeming non-existence of a competent, rational group or individual in leadership?
Yep, those Palestinians sure are doing a great job with their state, aren’t they?
Read the whole thing!
Gas up to $3 this summer?
According to Wired’s Autopia blog, gas prices are headed for the north-of-$3-a-gallon realm again this summer. If you don’t have some of your portfolio in oil stocks by now, what are you waiting for? Exxon looks to be on their way to another record year in 2007.
We’re still paying on both of our vehicles (an Expedition and an Escape – ouch), so I’m sorta stuck vehicle-wise for the moment. However, prices at this level mean the next modes of transportation around the CIT compound are going to be selected, in large part, based on fuel source and cost.
Gas is not going to go below $2 a gallon again, at least not until the electric car powered by safe nuclear plants, wind, tide, etc are the norm.
Personally, I hope we get to this point in my lifetime. Sure, it would be great to be able to drive for fractions of pennies per mile, but that’s not really the reason I want to hang around to see it. Mostly, I want to see Iran, Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, and other oil-rich international troublemakers stuff their oil wells up their wazoos.
And, by the way, that lovely scenario will happen. It’s not “if”. It’s “when”.
We’re still paying on both of our vehicles (an Expedition and an Escape – ouch), so I’m sorta stuck vehicle-wise for the moment. However, prices at this level mean the next modes of transportation around the CIT compound are going to be selected, in large part, based on fuel source and cost.
Gas is not going to go below $2 a gallon again, at least not until the electric car powered by safe nuclear plants, wind, tide, etc are the norm.
Personally, I hope we get to this point in my lifetime. Sure, it would be great to be able to drive for fractions of pennies per mile, but that’s not really the reason I want to hang around to see it. Mostly, I want to see Iran, Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, and other oil-rich international troublemakers stuff their oil wells up their wazoos.
And, by the way, that lovely scenario will happen. It’s not “if”. It’s “when”.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
How Evil Are You?
More genius lifted from Geeding...
| You Are 28% Evil |
 A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil. |
The Gordon Keith Show
Our favorite heavily medicated local media personality, Gordon Keith, has his own show way up there on Channel 52, every Thursday night. Since I have no idea where Channel 52 is on Time Warner, I'm glad to see the episodes are being posted on the Web.
Here's Week 1 of the Gordo Show. And here's the show's logo - maybe the gayest picture ever taken of a human.
The Smartest Poodle in the History of Poodles
Thanks to Comedy Central:
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.
The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!"
Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.
"Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says, "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.
The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!"
Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.
"Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says, "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Daily YouTube: The Cure
Robert Smith & Co., circa early 80s. Great song, probably a somewhat cool video at the time, but we've come a long way since then.
Elephant polo: Not for the faint of heart
A Sri Lankan elephant polo game got a bit out of hand recently, as 18-year-old Abey, a veteran polo elephant, went off. He threw his Sri Lankan driver, along with the wealthy American tourist who was playing from on top of him, and went after a minibus.
Opinion seems somewhat divided over the merits of using elephants for polo as a general concept. Some feel it’s a good way to raise public awareness of elephants as domesticated, working animals. Others think it’s a good way to get killed.
Spanish polo player Inigo de Arteaga, who was present at the Sri Lankan game, summed it up pretty well when he said, “Doing any sport is always a risk. Let’s go surfing.”
Opinion seems somewhat divided over the merits of using elephants for polo as a general concept. Some feel it’s a good way to raise public awareness of elephants as domesticated, working animals. Others think it’s a good way to get killed.
Spanish polo player Inigo de Arteaga, who was present at the Sri Lankan game, summed it up pretty well when he said, “Doing any sport is always a risk. Let’s go surfing.”
Funny quote of the day
From noted comedian and cross-dresser Eddie Izzard:
I grew up in Europe. Where the history comes from.
The Norwegian doomsday vault
Here’s a nutty one: Norway is about to begin construction of a huge vault buried in a mountain in the Arctic. The vault, dug straight into the side of Spitsbergen Mountain, 600+ miles above the Arctic Circle, is designed to hold seeds for every known crop plant on Earth.
The vault is clearly designed to withstand just about any natural or man-made catastrophe imaginable. It sits 400+ feet above sea level, just in case Antarctica melts and raises the level of the oceans by 200 or so feet. The inner seed vault is in the center of the frozen mountain, where the temperature stays around 28 degrees, regardless of man-made refrigeration or outside temp. And, the most telling point, the whole thing is designed to operate with no human maintenance whatsoever.
Spooky.
Well, be sure to circle the Svalbard Islands on your survival map. When The End comes, you’ll want to know where to go to replant yer taters.
The vault is clearly designed to withstand just about any natural or man-made catastrophe imaginable. It sits 400+ feet above sea level, just in case Antarctica melts and raises the level of the oceans by 200 or so feet. The inner seed vault is in the center of the frozen mountain, where the temperature stays around 28 degrees, regardless of man-made refrigeration or outside temp. And, the most telling point, the whole thing is designed to operate with no human maintenance whatsoever.
Spooky.
Well, be sure to circle the Svalbard Islands on your survival map. When The End comes, you’ll want to know where to go to replant yer taters.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Daily YouTube (sorta): Are you frickin' kidding?
Talk about hanging on for dear life - this is nearly miraculous. Or lucky as you-know-what.
Socialism is back, and I am most confused
Didn't everyone learn a lesson the first time around? This stuff just doesn't work. Yet the Venezuelans and the French seem hell-bent on going back to the failed days of socialism.
The latest news from France is Socialist presidential candidate Segolene Royal's release of a 100-point manifesto (never a comforting word for a Republican). This is the latest effort on the part of Ms. Royal to take back some momentum from right-wing candidate Nicolas Sarkozy in the polls.
Among her promises: Higher minimum wage, more public housing, larger pensions for poor retirees, more benefits for the unemployed, and novel concepts like citizen juries to evaluate the work of the National Assembly.
And the dough to pay for all this is going to come from...where, exactly?
The French unemployment rate has consistently been around 10% for the past several years. See anything in the Socialist Manifesto to fix that? Me neither.
Can you think of one single French product you want to buy?
The latest news from France is Socialist presidential candidate Segolene Royal's release of a 100-point manifesto (never a comforting word for a Republican). This is the latest effort on the part of Ms. Royal to take back some momentum from right-wing candidate Nicolas Sarkozy in the polls.
Among her promises: Higher minimum wage, more public housing, larger pensions for poor retirees, more benefits for the unemployed, and novel concepts like citizen juries to evaluate the work of the National Assembly.
And the dough to pay for all this is going to come from...where, exactly?
The French unemployment rate has consistently been around 10% for the past several years. See anything in the Socialist Manifesto to fix that? Me neither.
Can you think of one single French product you want to buy?
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