The post from the other day regarding Olympic terrorism brought to mind the grand-daddy of 'em all - Munich 1972.
The perfect storm of guilt-wracked host country (Germany), incredible daring on the part of the terrorists (Black September was pure evil, but this operation was cold, rational genius), official incompetence, total lack of preparation by everyone involved except the Palestinians, Western arrogance and ineptitude, media frenzy, more than a bit of latent anti-Semitism, and a heapin' helping of Murphy's Law; it all combined to make for the most tragic event in Olympic history.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
The ultimate "Lost" spoiler?
Chinese Islamic fanatics looking to go to The Show
The Chinese, about to host this summer's Olympics, are sweating a domestic terrorist threat. The insurgents/rebels/terrorists (its all perspective, isn't it?) are ethnic Uighurs from Xinjiang, in the far west of China, and represent the East Turkestan Islamic Movement (ETIM).While this sounds like a punchline out of Monty Python's Life of Brian, these guys are quite serious. It ain't easy running a domestic terror campaign in a police state, but ETIM has managed to be a minor thorn in the Chinese side for some time now.
Much as the Chinese see the August Olympics as a chance to show their stuff on the world stage, ETIM is apparently gearing up for their own events in the International Terror Games, where most of the records are currently held by the Palestinians of Black September.
This promises to be a most interesting chess match. China has been working towards the Olympics for years, clearly intending for the Games to showcase the new-and-improved People's Republic. A successful Olympic fortnight represents huge (HUGE) political and economic gains for Hu Jintao and company. Similarly, a terrorist event of any kind brings shame and enormous loss of faith for the entire nation, not to mention a ton of instant street cred for whoever pulls of the successful attack.
The reality is, in today's world, any major international gathering, and especially the Olympics, are going to be the highest of high-stakes contests between security services and freedom fighters/terrorists/fanatics of every stripe
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Daily YouTube: The gayest song of all time
From same.same.com.au, the 50 gayest songs of all time. Numero uno on the the big gay list: ABBA's Dancing Queen.
Yep, it's on my mp3 player. So?
Yep, it's on my mp3 player. So?
Still more snow
After a VERY mild winter, we get an early March snowstorm of quite major (by North Texas standards, anyway) proportions.
The kids will enjoy this one!
The kids will enjoy this one!
Fascinating photo of Helen Keller as young girl
From MSNBC today: Here's a photo of young Helen Keller and her teacher, Anne Sullivan, taken in 1888. This would be less than a year after Keller and Sullivan's big breakthru, wherein then-7-year-old Helen first comprehended the meaning of language (the big "water" scene from The Miracle Worker - you know you saw it)
I am fascinated by this picture and what it represents. Since I was a little kid, the story of Helen Keller has interested me. I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to be 5, 6, 7 years old, with no way to communicate, isolated in a dark and silent world. How breathtaking must it have been to suddenly "get it", or to watch her make the connection between words and things.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is called "adding a bit or perspective to your day".
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
My Childhood/My Issues
I've been having a lot of problems in my personal life lately. I've been talking with (and paying) a nice lady psych, and she has helped me identify much of why I am so fraught with problems:
It accounts for so much really.
It accounts for so much really.
Don't blame the parents.
Blame the Pufnstuf.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Funny campaign button
This cracked me up.
I was overcome by indecision and did not exercise my right/privellage/obligation today, by the way. I am ashamed. But I can't decide. This has never happened to me before.
Daily YouTube: Apollo 11
Since there's space news to be had today, I thought we'd step back and take a look at the single biggest achievement in human history: Apollo 11.
It's sad to realize it's been almost 40 years since we've managed something as big as this.
It's sad to realize it's been almost 40 years since we've managed something as big as this.
Martian avalanche caught on camera
Now, THIS is COOL. Cameras on NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter caught a series of avalanches in progress near the Martian North Pole.
It's probably not a surprise that avalanches occur on Mars, but it's beyond awesome to actually see one. At least, it is to me...
It's probably not a surprise that avalanches occur on Mars, but it's beyond awesome to actually see one. At least, it is to me...
The Greatest Song in the World?
I don't know what it is -- I just can't get this song out of my head lately. I guess it is the Greatest Song in the World (doesn't sound anything like this song).
Maybe now I can live my life accordingly.
Maybe now I can live my life accordingly.
Monday, March 03, 2008
What about Russell Edson?
Russell Edson is a poet who speaks to you through your dreams. My friend, Dr. Fishbag, handed me a copy of The Reason Why The Closet Man is Never Sad and told me that this poet was actually me, but with better hand writing. Taken aback, I asked Fishbag "If this poet has better hand writing, will he be more profound?" Fishbag looked me dead in the eye and said, "Of course." And that made all the difference.
The Wounded Breakfast
A huge shoe mounts up from the horizon, squealing and grinding forward on small wheels, even as a man sitting to breakfast on his veranda is suddenly engulfed in a great shadow, almost the size of the night . . . He looks up and sees a huge shoe ponderously mounting out of the earth. Up in the unlaced ankle-part an old woman stands at a helm behind the great tongue curled forward; the thick laces dragging like ships' rope on the ground as the huge thing squeals and grinds forward; children everywhere, they look from the shoelace holes, they crowd about the old woman, even as she pilots this huge shoe over the earth . . . Soon the huge shoe is descending the opposite horizon, a monstrous snail squealing and grinding into the earth . . . The man turns to his breakfast again, but sees it's been wounded, the yolk of one of his eggs is bleeding . . .
And it only gets better the longer it sits in your lap. Edson turns our nightmares into beautiful pieces of succulent melon. He understands that everything in our lives, from the trip to the mall to a bowl of cereal, is fraught with the absurd. As we desperately try to make meaning of our lives, Edson points out clearly that it is a fool's game and ultimately we will be swolled by randomness.
The Family Monkey
We bought an electric monkey, experimenting rather recklessly with funds carefully gathered since grandfather's time for the purchase of a steam monkey. We had either, by this time, the choice of an electric or gas monkey. The steam monkey is no longer being made, said the monkey merchant. But the family always planned on a steam monkey. Well, said the monkey merchant, just as the wind-up monkey gave way to the steam monkey, the steam monkey has given way to the gas and electric monkeys. Is that like the grandfather clock being replaced by the grandchild clock? Sort of, said the monkey merchant. So we bought the electric monkey, and plugged its umbilical cord into the wall. The smoke coming out of its fur told us something was wrong. We had electrocuted the family monkey.
This sort of stuff doesn't just come from nowhere. This is a complex realization of how we interact with each other, but more importantly, how we interact with ourselves. Nothing points a finger in your own face more than an electric monkey, after all.
Do yourself a favor and go out and by The Tunnel, which is a collection of Edson's poetry.
Now kiss me on the head and tell me good-night.
The Wounded Breakfast
A huge shoe mounts up from the horizon, squealing and grinding forward on small wheels, even as a man sitting to breakfast on his veranda is suddenly engulfed in a great shadow, almost the size of the night . . . He looks up and sees a huge shoe ponderously mounting out of the earth. Up in the unlaced ankle-part an old woman stands at a helm behind the great tongue curled forward; the thick laces dragging like ships' rope on the ground as the huge thing squeals and grinds forward; children everywhere, they look from the shoelace holes, they crowd about the old woman, even as she pilots this huge shoe over the earth . . . Soon the huge shoe is descending the opposite horizon, a monstrous snail squealing and grinding into the earth . . . The man turns to his breakfast again, but sees it's been wounded, the yolk of one of his eggs is bleeding . . .
And it only gets better the longer it sits in your lap. Edson turns our nightmares into beautiful pieces of succulent melon. He understands that everything in our lives, from the trip to the mall to a bowl of cereal, is fraught with the absurd. As we desperately try to make meaning of our lives, Edson points out clearly that it is a fool's game and ultimately we will be swolled by randomness.
The Family Monkey
We bought an electric monkey, experimenting rather recklessly with funds carefully gathered since grandfather's time for the purchase of a steam monkey. We had either, by this time, the choice of an electric or gas monkey. The steam monkey is no longer being made, said the monkey merchant. But the family always planned on a steam monkey. Well, said the monkey merchant, just as the wind-up monkey gave way to the steam monkey, the steam monkey has given way to the gas and electric monkeys. Is that like the grandfather clock being replaced by the grandchild clock? Sort of, said the monkey merchant. So we bought the electric monkey, and plugged its umbilical cord into the wall. The smoke coming out of its fur told us something was wrong. We had electrocuted the family monkey.
This sort of stuff doesn't just come from nowhere. This is a complex realization of how we interact with each other, but more importantly, how we interact with ourselves. Nothing points a finger in your own face more than an electric monkey, after all.
Do yourself a favor and go out and by The Tunnel, which is a collection of Edson's poetry.
Now kiss me on the head and tell me good-night.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Madeleine McCann - still missing
The sad, sad story of young Madeleine McCann is right where it has been for months.
The Portuguese local cops may or may not have completely screwed up the initial investigation, the Portuguese national police may or may not have further blown it, Madeleine's parents, Gerry and Kate McCann, may or may not have had something to do with the young girl's disappearance, and, 10 months after she disappeared from that Portuguese seaside resort, no one knows where Madeleine McCann is or what happened to her.
MSNBC has a long story about events during those weeks in May 2007 and since. They have spoken with a longtime FBI profiler who has extensive experience in these sorts of cases and got his opinion. The facts and opinion seem to lean towards a person unknown making off with little Madeleine as she slept, rather than meeting some sort of nefarious fate at the hands of her parents. In addition, the evidence seems to point to a police bungling of monumental proportions.
Whatever the story really is, and whether or not we ever learn what that story is, this story remains a tragedy in every sense of the word. It seems pretty clear that Madeleine is not coming home. I look at the banner on the left side of this blog, and I wonder if I should take it down. I have been unable to bring myself to do so yet, but it continues to trouble me every time I look at it.
Whoever was involved in Madeleine's disappearance, and whatever your role in it, as well as all those who are guilty of other crimes against young children, whether it be for profit, by accident, or to satisfy your own sick and demented wants and needs - I believe there is a particularly unpleasant sub-basement of Hell reserved just for you. Whoever you are, and for whatever reason you did what you did, all I have to say to you is: Enjoy your stay.
The Portuguese local cops may or may not have completely screwed up the initial investigation, the Portuguese national police may or may not have further blown it, Madeleine's parents, Gerry and Kate McCann, may or may not have had something to do with the young girl's disappearance, and, 10 months after she disappeared from that Portuguese seaside resort, no one knows where Madeleine McCann is or what happened to her.
MSNBC has a long story about events during those weeks in May 2007 and since. They have spoken with a longtime FBI profiler who has extensive experience in these sorts of cases and got his opinion. The facts and opinion seem to lean towards a person unknown making off with little Madeleine as she slept, rather than meeting some sort of nefarious fate at the hands of her parents. In addition, the evidence seems to point to a police bungling of monumental proportions.
Whatever the story really is, and whether or not we ever learn what that story is, this story remains a tragedy in every sense of the word. It seems pretty clear that Madeleine is not coming home. I look at the banner on the left side of this blog, and I wonder if I should take it down. I have been unable to bring myself to do so yet, but it continues to trouble me every time I look at it.
Whoever was involved in Madeleine's disappearance, and whatever your role in it, as well as all those who are guilty of other crimes against young children, whether it be for profit, by accident, or to satisfy your own sick and demented wants and needs - I believe there is a particularly unpleasant sub-basement of Hell reserved just for you. Whoever you are, and for whatever reason you did what you did, all I have to say to you is: Enjoy your stay.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Funny Jessica Simpson news
Wilonsky, the only Jewish man on Earth who looks good bald, has a post on Unfair Park from yesterday, which includes big news about Jessica Simpson's fame in Ukraine.
While this is funny on it's own, Wilonsky makes it even funnier. Go read. Is good.
While this is funny on it's own, Wilonsky makes it even funnier. Go read. Is good.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Addendum to this morning's Mavs post
Oh dear. We look on the Internet today, and find that fireavery.com is up and running.
Nothing like a massive knee-jerk to pick up your Friday afternoon.
Nothing like a massive knee-jerk to pick up your Friday afternoon.
J. Kidd: Future Hall of Famer and crunch time bench warmer?
I have been silent on the big half-the-Maverick-roster-for-Jason-Kidd trade that went down a few weeks ago. Enough ink and hot air have been expended debating this thing that I couldn't possibly add anything of substance to it.For the record, I loved the trade.
I, like most of the Dallas-area basketball public, am stunned by what I witnessed last night, and it deserves some vitriol from me.
Can someone, anyone, explain why Jason Kidd, the greatest point guard of his generation, the guy you brought in here to close games, the QB Avery has been looking for, why this guy you just gave up half your team for was on the bench when you're down two points to the NBA champs with less than a minute left? Can someone please take me through the thought process on this one?
Avery's explanation (lifted directly from Tim MacMahon's blog post):
"Well, we were looking at spreading the floor with all of our shooters in the game," Avery said after TNT's Craig Sager asked the question on everybody's mind. "We wanted to put Stack, Josh and Jet, and that gave Dirk some more room to operate in those situations. And, just to show ... Dirk made some great moves in there, got his jersey pulled a couple of times. He battled, but our spacing was good, and that's what we were doing on that particular one."
Huh?
Let's forget the not-too-subtle jab at the refs, which is apparently what most of the team spent the post-game griping about. I'm all for giving Dirk some room, and getting the shooters in the game, namely Terry, Howard, and Stackhouse, makes sense also. But, come on. I believe (forget that, I know) Avery himself waxed euphoric about Kidd's ability to deliver at crunch time during the press conference right after the trade.
So, how about it, Avery?
Even Barkley was stunned.
An aside: One the the best things about Kidd, in my opinion, is his relationship with most of the refs in the league. Unlike way too many of his teammates, along with way too many people in the Mavs organization, he doesn't waste time whining about calls. I can't stand that about this team. Bitching about the refs is for losers.
Well, I didn't really expect the Mavs to go into San Antonio and win. They came awfully darn close, which is encouraging. But the rap on Avery from his detractors is that he's a control freak who won't cede offensive decision making to anyone, even a guy with Kidd's rep and resume. Last night's actions sorta seem to back that up...
Thursday, February 28, 2008
A stroll down Amnesia Lane
Ran into this from Big Bob Wilonsky on Unfair Park this evening - a group of 1987 grads from good ol' JJ Pearce High School in Richardson (the arch-rival of my own Richardson Eagles) are participating in a TV Land show called, rather obviously, High School Reunion.
This is a few years after I had left the local scene, but its right in the wheelhouse for some friends and my dear goofy brother-in-law. I wonder if he knows any of these attention-starved media whores, er, I mean participants?
This is a few years after I had left the local scene, but its right in the wheelhouse for some friends and my dear goofy brother-in-law. I wonder if he knows any of these attention-starved media whores, er, I mean participants?
Daily YouTube: Worst movie scenes ever
Warning: Some of this is funny, but not terribly kid-friendly.
Funny, and only slightly sarcastic
The Billboard Liberation Front has launched a new, San Francisco-based campaign executed on behalf of AT&T and the National Security Agency. The billboards are "designed to promote and celebrate the innovative collaboration of these two global communications giants".
Monday, February 25, 2008
Daily YouTube: Kimmel's revenge
You knew you'd see this sooner or later: Kimmel is ****ing Ben Affleck.
Do I have to mention the language (actually sort of a single, very long bleep) warning?
Do I have to mention the language (actually sort of a single, very long bleep) warning?
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Daily YouTube: The Bruce Sketch
More inspired insanity from Monty Python.
Rule numbers 1, 3, 5, and 7: No pooftahs!
Rule numbers 1, 3, 5, and 7: No pooftahs!
Full throttle
A German man decapitated his girlfriend with a machete, placed her severed head in a daypack on his car seat, and drove his car straight into a truck, killing himself. This after he left the girlfriend's headless body in his bedroom, and set fire to the building.
If you're going to go out, this is doing so as emphatically as possible.
If you're going to go out, this is doing so as emphatically as possible.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Daily YouTube: Matt Damon is truly my hero
Following the smash duet w/ Sarah Silverman, here's Damon doing his one impression. See if you can figure out who it is:
Friday funny
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?
"Yeah, I''ve come to activate your phone lines."
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?
"Yeah, I''ve come to activate your phone lines."
The man who almost killed Hitler
I stumbled across this on the BBC Web site today, and found it so remarkable, I had to post it.
This is the story of one Henry Tandey, a private soldier in the 5th Duke of Wellington regiment during the First World War. An exceptional soldier, he was awarded the DCM, the MM, and the Victoria Cross for bravery under fire. In fact, he left the service in the 20's as the most decorated private soldier of the War.
The most fascinating part of Tandey's amazing story is his actions around Marcoing on 28th September 1918. On this day, the day he also won his VC, he had a dazed and wounded German infantryman in his sights. Tandey held his fire, as the battle-weary enemy soldier never raised his weapon. The young German, a corporal from Austria named Adolf Hitler, nodded in thanks and walked off.
I'll leave to you to read how both men, and, ultimately, the world found out the identity of the parties involved. It's entirely plausible that Hitler was the German spared by Tandey, and is, in fact, likely.
History is full of what-ifs. It's pretty pointless to wonder most of the time - what if Franz Ferdinand hadn't gone to Sarajevo, what if the Germans had taken Moscow in 1941, what if Khrushchev hadn't backed down over Cuba, what if Gore had contested the election more aggressively? Those things happened they way they did, and no amount of wondering will change it.
However, it's pretty compelling to consider what the world would be like if Private Tandey had squeezed the trigger...
This is the story of one Henry Tandey, a private soldier in the 5th Duke of Wellington regiment during the First World War. An exceptional soldier, he was awarded the DCM, the MM, and the Victoria Cross for bravery under fire. In fact, he left the service in the 20's as the most decorated private soldier of the War.
The most fascinating part of Tandey's amazing story is his actions around Marcoing on 28th September 1918. On this day, the day he also won his VC, he had a dazed and wounded German infantryman in his sights. Tandey held his fire, as the battle-weary enemy soldier never raised his weapon. The young German, a corporal from Austria named Adolf Hitler, nodded in thanks and walked off.
I'll leave to you to read how both men, and, ultimately, the world found out the identity of the parties involved. It's entirely plausible that Hitler was the German spared by Tandey, and is, in fact, likely.
History is full of what-ifs. It's pretty pointless to wonder most of the time - what if Franz Ferdinand hadn't gone to Sarajevo, what if the Germans had taken Moscow in 1941, what if Khrushchev hadn't backed down over Cuba, what if Gore had contested the election more aggressively? Those things happened they way they did, and no amount of wondering will change it.
However, it's pretty compelling to consider what the world would be like if Private Tandey had squeezed the trigger...
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Daily YouTube MAXIMUS: Political songs
Political campaigns, especially for President, make normal people into idiots. Today's example:
Equal time, though, tragically, not nearly as silly:
Now THIS is more like it...:
And it gets even awesomer:
By the way, I still haven't made up my mind...
Equal time, though, tragically, not nearly as silly:
Now THIS is more like it...:
And it gets even awesomer:
By the way, I still haven't made up my mind...
Valentine's Day funny
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
Today's blonde joke
Vern walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM . He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Vern and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Vern says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Vern placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Vern, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Verne replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news and so I knew he would jump."
The blond replied, "I did, too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
The blonde looked at Vern and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Vern says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Vern placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Vern, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Verne replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news and so I knew he would jump."
The blond replied, "I did, too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
More cute'n'cuddly hate from Hamas
Tomorrow's Pioneers, the Palestinian pre-school TV show which brought us the lovable, hate-filled, Nazi mouse Farfour, who was beaten to death by a fictional Israeli policeman (how ludicrous is the previous sentence?), now brings us a new, even-more-huggable, even-more-psychotic, fuzzy children's character: Assud the Bunny.
Assud (which translates to "Lion", sort of an interesting moniker for a rabbit) tells Sara'a, the kindly child host of this truly evil program, that he wishes to "finish off the Jews and eat them."
Things like this make me want to tear my hair out. These are the actions of people who have no regard for the improvement of conditions for their people. They are not concerned about the lives and minds of their children. They are not interested in discussion or compromise.
How, then, is Israel supposed to deal with these people?
Assud (which translates to "Lion", sort of an interesting moniker for a rabbit) tells Sara'a, the kindly child host of this truly evil program, that he wishes to "finish off the Jews and eat them."
Things like this make me want to tear my hair out. These are the actions of people who have no regard for the improvement of conditions for their people. They are not concerned about the lives and minds of their children. They are not interested in discussion or compromise.
How, then, is Israel supposed to deal with these people?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Gaza intervention appears inevitable
It appears the IDF is going into Gaza in a big way, and in the near future. Nearly continuous rocket fire, in addition to last week's suicide bombing, have pushed the Israelis into an untenable situation.
From the Jerusalem Post, via Jewish Issues Watchdog, here's some analysis of the plans. I'm encouraged by the amount of talk dedicated to the exit strategy. If the IDF is going in, they need to know how to get out as well.
The end game between the Israelis and the Palestinians is harder to see right now than at any time in recent memory.
From the Jerusalem Post, via Jewish Issues Watchdog, here's some analysis of the plans. I'm encouraged by the amount of talk dedicated to the exit strategy. If the IDF is going in, they need to know how to get out as well.
The end game between the Israelis and the Palestinians is harder to see right now than at any time in recent memory.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Funny fun-fun
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabbie, St. Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie."
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "This is heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie."
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "This is heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."
Monday, February 04, 2008
Super Bowl: How. Could. This. Happen.
I, along with most of America, am stunned by last night's events. How could the New England Patriots blow 18-0 by losing the Championship Game of the NFL to the New York friggin' Giants?
I will admit a certain fandom of the Pats. But, more than that, I am a fan of greatness. And a 19-0, NFL Champion Patriots team would have represented greatness. All-time greatest, in fact. Screw your arguments for the Lombardi Packers. Sorry. If the Pats had won, they would have gone down as the greatest professional football team ever.
Alas, it is not to be.
Let's face it, the Giants whupped the Pats in every phase of the game. Their offense did enough against the vaunted Patriot D. They won the field position battle in the punting game. And their defense, especially their front four, absolutely had their way with the heretofore unstoppable Patriot offense.
And now we can look forward to Eli showing up in as many commercials as Peyton.
Kill me now.
I will admit a certain fandom of the Pats. But, more than that, I am a fan of greatness. And a 19-0, NFL Champion Patriots team would have represented greatness. All-time greatest, in fact. Screw your arguments for the Lombardi Packers. Sorry. If the Pats had won, they would have gone down as the greatest professional football team ever.
Alas, it is not to be.
Let's face it, the Giants whupped the Pats in every phase of the game. Their offense did enough against the vaunted Patriot D. They won the field position battle in the punting game. And their defense, especially their front four, absolutely had their way with the heretofore unstoppable Patriot offense.
And now we can look forward to Eli showing up in as many commercials as Peyton.
Kill me now.
Suicide bombing in Israel
For the first time in more than a year, a Palestinian militant blew himself, and as many Israelis as he could, to little bits. This time it was in a shopping district in Dimona - coincidentally the home of Israel's nuclear facility.
The wall between Israel and the Palestinian territories seems to be doing its job, as this deluded cretin, and his accomplice, who was blown out of his socks by police, appears to have come over the much more porus border with Egypt. Israeli authorities are concerned that a number of militants used the recent chaos at the Gaza-Egypt border to sneak into Egypt. From there, they would be able to easily explot the long, impossible-to-control Israel-Egypt line.
In Gaza, the families of the murderers passed out sweets to celebrate their relatives homicidal activities while people danced in the streets.
And in other news from the area, Egyptian troops tried to seal off the badly breached border fence with Gaza, as the Egyptians try to get a grip on the border crossing which has turned into the Palestinian version of the Cincinnatti Who concert in recent days. Hamas, who's leaders have probably not yet finished the copies of How to Win Friends and Influence People, is pursuing an interesting path towards legitimzing their role as governors of Gaza.
I try to be charitable. I really do. But reading stories like these make it very difficult for me to find sympathy for the average Palestinian. Their lot in life is, for the most part, crap. They've been repeatedly shafted and relentlessly used by their own leadership and that of the larger Arab and Islamic world, and hope for them is nearly non-existent. But, by the same token, they've allowed themselves to be put in this position and, after 60 years, they have produced no credible alternative to the thugs and criminals who currently pass themselves off as "Palestinian leaders". So, who's really to blame for where they are?
The wall between Israel and the Palestinian territories seems to be doing its job, as this deluded cretin, and his accomplice, who was blown out of his socks by police, appears to have come over the much more porus border with Egypt. Israeli authorities are concerned that a number of militants used the recent chaos at the Gaza-Egypt border to sneak into Egypt. From there, they would be able to easily explot the long, impossible-to-control Israel-Egypt line.
In Gaza, the families of the murderers passed out sweets to celebrate their relatives homicidal activities while people danced in the streets.
And in other news from the area, Egyptian troops tried to seal off the badly breached border fence with Gaza, as the Egyptians try to get a grip on the border crossing which has turned into the Palestinian version of the Cincinnatti Who concert in recent days. Hamas, who's leaders have probably not yet finished the copies of How to Win Friends and Influence People, is pursuing an interesting path towards legitimzing their role as governors of Gaza.
I try to be charitable. I really do. But reading stories like these make it very difficult for me to find sympathy for the average Palestinian. Their lot in life is, for the most part, crap. They've been repeatedly shafted and relentlessly used by their own leadership and that of the larger Arab and Islamic world, and hope for them is nearly non-existent. But, by the same token, they've allowed themselves to be put in this position and, after 60 years, they have produced no credible alternative to the thugs and criminals who currently pass themselves off as "Palestinian leaders". So, who's really to blame for where they are?
Some Jewish for ya
Jewbilation (n.) Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish.
Torahfied (n.) Inability to remember one's lines when called to read from the Torah at one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah. (OR from the Hagadah at Passover)
Santa-shmanta (n.) The explanation Jewish children get for why they celebrate Hanukkah while the rest of the neighbors celebrate Christmas.
Matzilation (v.) Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it.
Bubbegum (n.) Candy one's mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to her own children.
Chutzpapa (n.) A father who wakes his wife at 4:00 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper.
Deja Nu ( n.) Having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your mother's face, but not knowing exactly when.
Disoriyenta (n.) When Aunt Linda gets lost in a department store and strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes.
Goyfer (n.) A Gentile messenger.
Hebort (v.) To forget all the Hebrew one ever learned immediately after one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
Jewdo (n.) A traditional form of self-defense based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.
Mamatzah Balls (n.) Matzo balls that are as good as your mother used to make.
Meinstein - slang. 'My son, the genius!'
Mishpochadots (n.) The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face and collar after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a reception.
Re-shtetlement (n.) Moving from Brooklyn to Miami and finding all your old neighbors live in the same condo building as you.
Rosh Hashana-na-na (n.) A rock 'n roll band from Jewish Brooklyn.
Yidentify (v.) To be able to determine Jewish origins of celebrities, even though their names might be St. John, Curtis, Davis or Taylor.
Minyastics (n.) Going to incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth person to complete a Minyan.
Feelawful (n.) Indigestion from eating Israeli street food, especially falafel.
Dis-kvellified (v.) To drop out of law school, med. school or business school as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents and Uncle Sid. In extreme cases, simply choosing to major in art history when Irv's son David is majoring in biology is sufficient grounds for dis-kvellification.
Kinders Shlep (v.) To transport other kids besides yours in your car.
Shofarsogut (n.) The relief you feel when, after many attempts, the shofar is finally blown at the end of Yom Kippur.
Torahfied (n.) Inability to remember one's lines when called to read from the Torah at one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah. (OR from the Hagadah at Passover)
Santa-shmanta (n.) The explanation Jewish children get for why they celebrate Hanukkah while the rest of the neighbors celebrate Christmas.
Matzilation (v.) Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it.
Bubbegum (n.) Candy one's mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to her own children.
Chutzpapa (n.) A father who wakes his wife at 4:00 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper.
Deja Nu ( n.) Having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your mother's face, but not knowing exactly when.
Disoriyenta (n.) When Aunt Linda gets lost in a department store and strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes.
Goyfer (n.) A Gentile messenger.
Hebort (v.) To forget all the Hebrew one ever learned immediately after one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
Jewdo (n.) A traditional form of self-defense based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.
Mamatzah Balls (n.) Matzo balls that are as good as your mother used to make.
Meinstein - slang. 'My son, the genius!'
Mishpochadots (n.) The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face and collar after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a reception.
Re-shtetlement (n.) Moving from Brooklyn to Miami and finding all your old neighbors live in the same condo building as you.
Rosh Hashana-na-na (n.) A rock 'n roll band from Jewish Brooklyn.
Yidentify (v.) To be able to determine Jewish origins of celebrities, even though their names might be St. John, Curtis, Davis or Taylor.
Minyastics (n.) Going to incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth person to complete a Minyan.
Feelawful (n.) Indigestion from eating Israeli street food, especially falafel.
Dis-kvellified (v.) To drop out of law school, med. school or business school as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents and Uncle Sid. In extreme cases, simply choosing to major in art history when Irv's son David is majoring in biology is sufficient grounds for dis-kvellification.
Kinders Shlep (v.) To transport other kids besides yours in your car.
Shofarsogut (n.) The relief you feel when, after many attempts, the shofar is finally blown at the end of Yom Kippur.
Happy Birthday Curmudgeon!
Hey Curmudgeon!
It's your birthday and as a gift I give you a little bit of information:
351 days left of the Bush "Administration"
You may be getting older, but that light at the end of the tunnel
is not your approaching death,
it's a new hope for America.
Happy Birthday, my brother!
--Walt Whitman
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Today's ha-ha
A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!"
"What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '"We weren't making love."
"Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were."
Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.
The husband says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!"
"What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '"We weren't making love."
"Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were."
Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.
The husband says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!"
The craziest ad you'll see today
Back in the days when smoking was good for you, Camel bragged that more doctors smoked Camels than any other brand. I am TOTALLY not making this up:
Lost is back, and I'm still hooked
Saw my TiVo'd season premier of Lost late last night, and my addicition is back in full force. I won't bore you with theories or questions or detailed analysis. I'll just point you to a post from good ol' Keith, full of good questions, and a link to LostEasterEggs, the best site I've found for screen caps and anecdotal goodies (without going over the edge into full-blown psycho stalkerdom).
I'm so confused, and I'm disappointed that this season is likely to be cut short by the writer's strike. However, since the series now has a end date, I'm relieved to know that there will be an end, and most of the answers are coming.
I'm so confused, and I'm disappointed that this season is likely to be cut short by the writer's strike. However, since the series now has a end date, I'm relieved to know that there will be an end, and most of the answers are coming.
Daily YouTube: I may have to start watching Kimmel
My appreciation for Kimmel, girlfriend Sarah Silverman, and Matt Damon has gone up 100%. This is laugh-out-loud, spit-your-coffee-across-the-desk hysterical.
MAJORwarning. This was on late-night TV for a reason. No kids allowed. You've been warned.
MAJOR
New, utterly revolting terror tactic
By now, you've no doubt read about the latest atrocity (FAR too mild a word) committed by Iraqi terrorists. Two women with Down syndrome were strapped up with explosives, sent into Baghdad markets, and blown to bits (along with more than 70 passers-by) via remote control.
Mentally disabled women used as unwilling suicide bombers. Shall we count up the number of horrific, morally bankrupt points which show up in that statement? I get at least six.
Dear God. I don't know what to say. I am so speechless that I really wrestled with even writing this post. What can I possibly say that will accurately convey my horror, disbelief, revulsion, and anger at this cowardly, morally bankrupt act? There IS nothing I can say which will do my sentiments, or those of any human, any justice.
The terrorists, presumably AQ or a franchisee, claim to be doing God's work. I believe God is keeping track of acts committed in His name. The bill will come due for these miserable cretins in time.
When does the Enniskillen moment come in Iraq? When does AQ commit an act so repugnant, so cowardly, and so shocking that it turns their support base against them? If this isn't it, then God help us all.
Mentally disabled women used as unwilling suicide bombers. Shall we count up the number of horrific, morally bankrupt points which show up in that statement? I get at least six.
Dear God. I don't know what to say. I am so speechless that I really wrestled with even writing this post. What can I possibly say that will accurately convey my horror, disbelief, revulsion, and anger at this cowardly, morally bankrupt act? There IS nothing I can say which will do my sentiments, or those of any human, any justice.
The terrorists, presumably AQ or a franchisee, claim to be doing God's work. I believe God is keeping track of acts committed in His name. The bill will come due for these miserable cretins in time.
When does the Enniskillen moment come in Iraq? When does AQ commit an act so repugnant, so cowardly, and so shocking that it turns their support base against them? If this isn't it, then God help us all.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Zen and beef by-products
Today's joke: Said the Buddhist to the hot dog vendor: "Make me one with everything."
I have two questions regarding the above joke:
1. Do Buddhists eat hot dogs?
2. Are Buddhist jokes bad karma?
I have two questions regarding the above joke:
1. Do Buddhists eat hot dogs?
2. Are Buddhist jokes bad karma?
Monday, January 28, 2008
Bonus YouTube: David Lee Roth was insane
Heard this on The Ticket the other day, in honor of Van Halen's swing thru the DFW Metroplex of Love: Here's Runnin' With The Devil. Pretty garden variety Van Halen, right? Near greatness, for sure, and, of course, David Lee Roth's vocals are over the top.
Check it out as a baseline, OK?
Now go listen to this - it's the same bit, with every track removed except Roth's vocals. Absolutely hilarious!
Check it out as a baseline, OK?
Now go listen to this - it's the same bit, with every track removed except Roth's vocals. Absolutely hilarious!
Daily YouTube: A movie recommendation
I caught the Leonardo DiCaprio/Djimon Honsou/Jennifer Connelly movie Blood Diamond on HomeShowMaxChannel (one of 'em, anyway) the other day, and was quite impressed.
DiCaprio, whom I have come around on, is a very convincing Rhodesian smuggler who uses/helps Honsou's refugee Sierra Leonean fisherman find a huge diamond and get his family back. Connelly is a bit more than the usual bosomy love interest as an American journalist who helps Archer (DiCaprio) in an effort to get the real story behind diamond smuggling from the late-90s Sierra Leone war zone.
I've always been a fan of the white African - not the die-hard, bring-back-apartheid Afrkaaner fascists, but the regular dude and dudette who has lived in Zimbabwe/Rhodesia or South Africa for generations and is just looking to make his/her way. DiCaprio, though portraying an ex SADF special forces soldier of minimal moral constraint, pegs the accent and mannerisms of the southern African who's seen way too much carnage from way to early in his life.
Blood Diamond hits a lot of accurate historical points regarding the civil war in Sierra Leone, the terrible tragedy of child soldiers, the incredibly corrupt and manipulative diamond trade, and the sheer evil of blood diamonds.
Go check it out.
DiCaprio, whom I have come around on, is a very convincing Rhodesian smuggler who uses/helps Honsou's refugee Sierra Leonean fisherman find a huge diamond and get his family back. Connelly is a bit more than the usual bosomy love interest as an American journalist who helps Archer (DiCaprio) in an effort to get the real story behind diamond smuggling from the late-90s Sierra Leone war zone.
I've always been a fan of the white African - not the die-hard, bring-back-apartheid Afrkaaner fascists, but the regular dude and dudette who has lived in Zimbabwe/Rhodesia or South Africa for generations and is just looking to make his/her way. DiCaprio, though portraying an ex SADF special forces soldier of minimal moral constraint, pegs the accent and mannerisms of the southern African who's seen way too much carnage from way to early in his life.
Blood Diamond hits a lot of accurate historical points regarding the civil war in Sierra Leone, the terrible tragedy of child soldiers, the incredibly corrupt and manipulative diamond trade, and the sheer evil of blood diamonds.
Go check it out.
Not exactly news: China is funding all sorts of unpleasantness in return for oil
Writing in the International Herald Tribune, Nicholas Kristof reminds us of some of the less-than-savory aspects of China's policies in Africa, specifically Sudan, and how we might see protests against those policies show up this summer in Beijing.
The main point of Kristof's column is China's support for the Sudanese government's war on its ethnic African population in Darfur. This support shows up in the form of arms, dough, and political air cover. In return, the Chinese get access to Sudanese oil.
I hope its not a surprise to you all out there that the Chinese are supporting all sorts of rotten behavior around the world in return for access to oil. The West buys the bulk of oil production from the "good guys" (comparatively speaking, of course) in the petro-world - the Saudis, Kuwaitis, and the others who are not actively engaged in napalming villages. That leaves the Chinese, who's super-hot economy is gagging for energy, to buy from the really foul bastards who have stocks of that black poison.
Don't forget, the Chinese don't listen to Greenpeace or Amnesty International very closely either.
The Chinese are making deals with a variety of devils, and you suspect it will come back to haunt them sooner or later. Of course, being a bit less restrained in how they respond when those devils get rowdy may help keep the lid on for a while. The Chinese are probably a bit harder to pressure than your average Western democracy, and are likely to respond somewhat more violently than we might when pushed.
Still, it's important for us to remember that we are not the only military and economic super-power out there on the world stage.
The main point of Kristof's column is China's support for the Sudanese government's war on its ethnic African population in Darfur. This support shows up in the form of arms, dough, and political air cover. In return, the Chinese get access to Sudanese oil.
I hope its not a surprise to you all out there that the Chinese are supporting all sorts of rotten behavior around the world in return for access to oil. The West buys the bulk of oil production from the "good guys" (comparatively speaking, of course) in the petro-world - the Saudis, Kuwaitis, and the others who are not actively engaged in napalming villages. That leaves the Chinese, who's super-hot economy is gagging for energy, to buy from the really foul bastards who have stocks of that black poison.
Don't forget, the Chinese don't listen to Greenpeace or Amnesty International very closely either.
The Chinese are making deals with a variety of devils, and you suspect it will come back to haunt them sooner or later. Of course, being a bit less restrained in how they respond when those devils get rowdy may help keep the lid on for a while. The Chinese are probably a bit harder to pressure than your average Western democracy, and are likely to respond somewhat more violently than we might when pushed.
Still, it's important for us to remember that we are not the only military and economic super-power out there on the world stage.
Hamas taking shots from some of their Arab bretheren. Finally.
Abdel Rahman Rashed, a Saudi national serving as general manager of the pan-Arab al Arabiya news channel, said Hamas is responsible for the suffering of some 1.5 million Palestinians living in the Gaza Strip.
Writing in a Brit Arab-language paper, Rashed said, "Hamas committed a stupid act when it gave the Israelis an excuse to launch attacks in retaliation for a few antique rockets."
Ya think?
The PA joined the dogpile. Information Minister Riad al-Malki said the latest crisis was the result of Hamas's "insistence on creating an Islamic republic in the Gaza Strip." He also accused Hamas of trying to evade responsibility for the situation in Gaza by blaming it on the PA.
Nice trick. Kick out the rivals, then blame them for your failure to replace them.
Maybe the most interesting part of this Jerusalem Post article is the nugget about the food and fuel situation in Gaza. Hamas will have you believe that Israel's semi-blockade of Gaza has fomented an enormous humintarian crisis, as there food and fuel stocks are dwindling rapidly.
According to the PA, Hamas has forced Gaza bakers to close their shops, even though there is sufficient stock to keep them baking for the next two months. In addition, again according to the PA, if there is a fuel shortage, its because Hamas has stolen most of the fuel in Gaza for their own vehicles.
Once again, we see how fundamentalist Islamic "leaders" place their agenda ahead of the welfare of their populace. They are more than willing to sacrifice their people in order to "save" them.
Writing in a Brit Arab-language paper, Rashed said, "Hamas committed a stupid act when it gave the Israelis an excuse to launch attacks in retaliation for a few antique rockets."
Ya think?
The PA joined the dogpile. Information Minister Riad al-Malki said the latest crisis was the result of Hamas's "insistence on creating an Islamic republic in the Gaza Strip." He also accused Hamas of trying to evade responsibility for the situation in Gaza by blaming it on the PA.
Nice trick. Kick out the rivals, then blame them for your failure to replace them.
Maybe the most interesting part of this Jerusalem Post article is the nugget about the food and fuel situation in Gaza. Hamas will have you believe that Israel's semi-blockade of Gaza has fomented an enormous humintarian crisis, as there food and fuel stocks are dwindling rapidly.
According to the PA, Hamas has forced Gaza bakers to close their shops, even though there is sufficient stock to keep them baking for the next two months. In addition, again according to the PA, if there is a fuel shortage, its because Hamas has stolen most of the fuel in Gaza for their own vehicles.
Once again, we see how fundamentalist Islamic "leaders" place their agenda ahead of the welfare of their populace. They are more than willing to sacrifice their people in order to "save" them.
Funny. And true.
The Israeli Ambassador at the U.N. began, "Ladies and gentlemen before I commence with my speech, I want to relay an old Passover story.
"When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, he had to go through the nearly endless Sinai desert.
"When they reached the Promised Land, the people had become very thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his staff and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. The people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content.
"Moses put down his staff and went to a solitary corner of the pond to drink, and meditate in prayer. But once Moses returned, he found that his staff had been stolen.
"I have reason to believe ladies and gentlemen that the Palestinians stole the staff of our great Prophet Moses.'"
The Palestinian delegate to the UN, hearing this accusation, jumps from his seat and screams out, "This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no such thing as 'Palestinians' at that time!"
"And with that in mind," said the Israeli Ambassador, "let me now begin my speech."
"When Moses was leading the Jews out of Egypt toward the Promised Land, he had to go through the nearly endless Sinai desert.
"When they reached the Promised Land, the people had become very thirsty and needed water. So Moses struck the side of a mountain with his staff and a pond appeared with crystal clean, cool water. The people rejoiced and drank to their hearts' content.
"Moses put down his staff and went to a solitary corner of the pond to drink, and meditate in prayer. But once Moses returned, he found that his staff had been stolen.
"I have reason to believe ladies and gentlemen that the Palestinians stole the staff of our great Prophet Moses.'"
The Palestinian delegate to the UN, hearing this accusation, jumps from his seat and screams out, "This is a travesty. It is widely known that there were no such thing as 'Palestinians' at that time!"
"And with that in mind," said the Israeli Ambassador, "let me now begin my speech."
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Daily YouTube: The James Bond Theme
No clips from the movies, just that unmistakable Henry Mancini theme music. Greatness.
Today's modern marvel
From Modern Mechanix (what a great magazine!) in 1935, a non-floating, tractor-tread "ferry" used to transport Brit holiday-goers from shore to a resort island a quarter mile offshore.
I think you'd have to want that holiday pretty badly...
I think you'd have to want that holiday pretty badly...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Bonus YouTube: Paul Revere and the GTO Judge
I posted a link to a QuickTime of this ages ago. Here's the much-easier-to-view YouTube. Yes, that is Paul Revere and The Raiders, in full 18th Century regalia.
This car is worth more than all of my body parts combined.
This car is worth more than all of my body parts combined.
Daily YouTube: Rockets in Sderot
I've tried to make this point a few times: Imagine living your quiet suburban life in the Negev Desert of Israel. You've got your 4 bed 2.5 bath home, your Corolla in the garage, the wife and kids running around, you're spending your Saturday afternoon on the laptop getting some work done before you turn on the game.
All of a sudden, KA-BOOOM!! Those pesky neighbors from Hamas have just tossed another Qassam missile over the fence, and you're picking glass out of your sofa (if you're lucky) or your daughter (if you're not).
How do the Israelis do it?
All of a sudden, KA-BOOOM!! Those pesky neighbors from Hamas have just tossed another Qassam missile over the fence, and you're picking glass out of your sofa (if you're lucky) or your daughter (if you're not).
How do the Israelis do it?
Yesterday's tomorrow, today!
Now this is a fun one. From Modern Mechanix magazine circa 1932 - a subway (or overhead) series of endless moving belts for transporting people around a city.
How art-deco (and totally impractical) is this?
How art-deco (and totally impractical) is this?
Music, toys, and plutonium - quick hits from the privacy front
Got a couple of posts in the old RSS folder today which set me to thinkin'. They were from all over the place, but each had privacy as a central theme.
First, the "music" in the headline: Some dude named "Pete" (no relation) wrote to the Boing-Boing kahunas with some interesting tidbits on Amazon's "DRM-free" music downloads. Turns out they might not be quite as DRM-free as one might hope. Apparently, Amazon has some proprietary code in the tagging of each track. The whole idea behind true "DRM-free" files is that there's nothing proprietary, and the purchaser can do whatever he/she wants with it. Comments in the post seem to indicate there's nothing untoward going on here, but just the fact that it's getting some play makes me a bit nervous.
It's little things like this which keep me from completely trusting those fine folks at Amazon.
And speaking of enormous corporations doing some things you might not a) be aware of, or b) like: When you go to Build-A-Bear Workshop to, er, build a bear, you get a "Birth Certificate" for your new stuffed buddy. What you may or may not notice, in your consumer-spending frenzy, is the amount of info you're asked to key into the little Birth Certificate kiosk in the store. Name, address, email, birth date, gender; all this and more gets plugged into the orange-and-purple Seusserrific terminals before your certificate is spat out. What, pray-tell, does Build-A-Bear do with all this pedophile-starter-kit info? Nothing serious, one would think - I don't confuse Build-A-Bear with the organs of the police state.
The point is kids, and parents, are getting numb to this disclosure of very personal info for the most mundane of reasons.
If I had a dime for every time my 10-year-old daughter handed over my email address to everythinggirl.com or cartoonnetwork.com or webkinz.com or any of the half-dozen other sites she wastes HOURS on, I'd have a sack-full of dimes, brother. I never even think about it, and neither, obviously, does she. Perhaps we should...
Lastly, Cory Doctorow's new column in The Guardian has to do with all that very personal info which has been harvested by means nefarious and less so, and its ultimate fate out there in the electronic ether. Doctorow compares it to nuclear waste, in the sense that its safekeeping is at least as important as that of the weapons-grade plutonium coming out of the world's fission plants. It's release into the wild would have ramifications not unlike the nuke-napping of a whole bunch of yummy strontium-90 - whole civilizations can be laid waste by unscrupulous use of either.
Some sobering reading for a Tuesday evening!
Um, is this a good idea?
I certainly don't like to spend too much time trying to out-think the Israelis. Their situation is so far beyond my ability to comprehend, and I am so unable to put myself in their shoes, that I will give them the benefit of the doubt by default.
That is, until I read this little post-a-rooney on Wired's Danger Room blog: The Israelis are tinkering about with a "thinking" machine which can, under certain circumstances, take over national defense from those quivering buckets of protoplasm called humans.
The scenario is a massive "doomsday" strike launched by (insert name of hostile, nuclear-armed Islamic state here). Said unnamed state launches so many missiles that the humans are overwhelmed. The "thinking machine" acheives supreme situational awareness, and is able to calculate and execute actions and reactions more quickly and effectively than the best battlefield commander.
Zowie.
I saw the Terminator movies. I know where this leads. Count me out.
That is, until I read this little post-a-rooney on Wired's Danger Room blog: The Israelis are tinkering about with a "thinking" machine which can, under certain circumstances, take over national defense from those quivering buckets of protoplasm called humans.
The scenario is a massive "doomsday" strike launched by (insert name of hostile, nuclear-armed Islamic state here). Said unnamed state launches so many missiles that the humans are overwhelmed. The "thinking machine" acheives supreme situational awareness, and is able to calculate and execute actions and reactions more quickly and effectively than the best battlefield commander.
Zowie.
I saw the Terminator movies. I know where this leads. Count me out.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Don't click "Buy It Now" on this one!
Here's an auction for four tickets to this Sunday's big Packers-Cowboys NFC Title Game at Texas Stadium. Only four grand gets you lower-level seats.
Um, wait a second....
Um, wait a second....
Monday, January 14, 2008
Australian kids are stupid, too
Corely Delaney, a 16-year-old suburban Melbourne kid, recently threw a party while his parents were away. Who amongst us hasn't done the same? When I was in high school, I had PLENTY of parties whilst the folks were off in parts unknown. There was (gasp) alcohol involved, perhaps a drinking game or two, a number of people crashed out on couches the next morning; the usual high school shenanigans.
Well, young Mr. Delaney took it a few steps further. Actually, quite a few steps further.
Young Mr. Delaney, presumably with help from his juvenile delinquent friends, posted adverts for his party on MySpace and via text message. Enough people found out about this bash that 500 of them showed up for it.
Trust me on this one: 500 16- and 17-year-olds, drinking in someone's back yard, with no adult supervision, is a recipe for disaster. This combination is NEVER going to produce good results.
As you have no doubt surmised by now, the party spilled into the neighborhood, with drunken 16-year-old douche bags smashing windows, vandalizing homes, shouting obscenities at the neighbors, etc. Someone called the cops, the aforementioned douche bags started pelting the first responders with bottles, and things went from bad to worse.
It took 30 cops, a police helicopter, and a K-9 squad to bring things under control. Victoria state police are considering billing Mom & Pop Delaney for the approximately A$20,000 spent in cleaning up young Corey's mess.
A couple of priceless quotes from young Corey himself seem to indicate that he hasn't quite learned his lesson yet:
"I can't remember. I was just off my head. Can't remember."
But when asked what advice he had for other teenagers planning a home alone party, (Delaney) appeared unrepentant and told the Nine Network: "Get me to do it for you.
"Best party ever, that's what everyone's saying."
Why Lou Reed Is Cooler Than You (and me).
My particular personal pantheon is larger than most -- but it is because I have keyed in tightly to the myriad of aspects that float in front of our faces. These seeming dots before our eyes, dust storm, light dance -- are all discordant, yet all one. It sounds as if it were time to launch into a Whitman poem, but this is neither the place nor the post -- for it is time to talk about Lou Reed.
I first heard a Lou Reed song when I was 14 or 15 (a dot before the eyes). It was "Sister Ray" from the White Light/White Heat album. I was gonked at my friend David's house and he put on this record for me and we lay on the floor and let the music crawl gently across the rug and snap into our brains. Oh my god -- I think I sh@* myself listening to that, be it gonked or be it real (nay, we are but men) -- but oh my god. The sound -- the churning churning churning and telling me all about transvestites and smack and ding-dongs -- oh -- my -- god -- suburban Jew middle class meltdown.
Later there was "The Blue Mask" an album of highs and lows -- the title track being the most honest assessment of how pathetic and self-deluding and mud covered we are. And I noticed it was true, but had to push it away, and I pushed it away some more -- it is only lately after a series of poor choices again and disregarding people in my life, again -- I see my Blue Mask in the mirror.......
If you want, I can make you a sandwich. It will be tasty and you will be glad to eat it. Get comfortable: slacks and slippers, sweaters and socks. Breathe Deeply and Let the Tension Ooze out of your toes. Now let's listen to "Black Angel Death Song" and see where you go.
"Kicks"
Some day we all got to pray........................
I first heard a Lou Reed song when I was 14 or 15 (a dot before the eyes). It was "Sister Ray" from the White Light/White Heat album. I was gonked at my friend David's house and he put on this record for me and we lay on the floor and let the music crawl gently across the rug and snap into our brains. Oh my god -- I think I sh@* myself listening to that, be it gonked or be it real (nay, we are but men) -- but oh my god. The sound -- the churning churning churning and telling me all about transvestites and smack and ding-dongs -- oh -- my -- god -- suburban Jew middle class meltdown.
What do you expect from me now after something like that? How could I ever listen to Rush again?
Nothing -- NOTHING -- in my life had prepared me for an experience like that -- damn you Lou for breaking me open.
Later there was "The Blue Mask" an album of highs and lows -- the title track being the most honest assessment of how pathetic and self-deluding and mud covered we are. And I noticed it was true, but had to push it away, and I pushed it away some more -- it is only lately after a series of poor choices again and disregarding people in my life, again -- I see my Blue Mask in the mirror.......
Lou Reed beats your god every time!
If you want, I can make you a sandwich. It will be tasty and you will be glad to eat it. Get comfortable: slacks and slippers, sweaters and socks. Breathe Deeply and Let the Tension Ooze out of your toes. Now let's listen to "Black Angel Death Song" and see where you go.
"Kicks"
Some day we all got to pray........................
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Cowboys - Giants: For the record
I have a bad feeling about this.
I hate to say it. I really do. I am on board with this group of Cowboys. Hell, I'm even a TO Owens fan now. I would love to be wrong, and to see this thing keep going.
But I can't get past the recently-sputtering offense, the season-long inconsistency on defense, and the deal Jerry Jones made with Satan back in the early 90s, where he got a decade of dominance and the name of a good plastic surgeon in exchange for his soul and Quincy Carter.
I hope I'm wrong, and I'll gladly take the abuse of one and all if I am. But I foresee Giants 24 - Cowboys 10.
May God have mercy on us all.
I hate to say it. I really do. I am on board with this group of Cowboys. Hell, I'm even a TO Owens fan now. I would love to be wrong, and to see this thing keep going.
But I can't get past the recently-sputtering offense, the season-long inconsistency on defense, and the deal Jerry Jones made with Satan back in the early 90s, where he got a decade of dominance and the name of a good plastic surgeon in exchange for his soul and Quincy Carter.
I hope I'm wrong, and I'll gladly take the abuse of one and all if I am. But I foresee Giants 24 - Cowboys 10.
May God have mercy on us all.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Daily YouTube: The Korean War
I'm currently reading David Halberstam's The Coldest Winter (genius book - pick it up), about The Korean War, and enjoying it immensely.
The book starts with the UN forces up around the Yalu and Chongchon Rivers, in far North Korea, thinking the war is over and they'll be home in time for Christmas 1950. Just as MacArthur's command is thinking about victory parades, the Chinese Army shows up and takes the Americans completely by surprise.
Today's YouTube clip is part of a 15-installment series about the war. This one focuses on The Chinese Surprise.
The book starts with the UN forces up around the Yalu and Chongchon Rivers, in far North Korea, thinking the war is over and they'll be home in time for Christmas 1950. Just as MacArthur's command is thinking about victory parades, the Chinese Army shows up and takes the Americans completely by surprise.
Today's YouTube clip is part of a 15-installment series about the war. This one focuses on The Chinese Surprise.
Hardline brouhaha: The story that won't die
A bit more info on the Greg Williams vs. The Ticket/Hardline story emerged this week, as Ticket parent company Cumulus Media released a statement indicating Williams has resigned. No further details were forthcoming in the statement, from management, or from the on-air staff.
As we've mentioned here before, it's unlikely you're going to see much, if any, detail around this story discussed in public any time soon, if ever. There are big legalities and big bucks at stake here (The Ticket is, and has been for some time, a money factory; one which Williams lawyers would love to raid), and the surest way Cumulus, Ticket management, or the on-air staff can kill the golden goose is to start blabbing. Perhaps, some day when the dust has settled, Richie Whitt will write the details for The Observer or for himself. But we're a long way from that day.
Reading comments on Unfair Park, and the few which have been left here, sort of amazes me. It's striking how many listeners feel personally betrayed, and how many have sworn off The Ticket in general, The Hardline in particular. This is entertainment, and pretty sophomoric entertainment at that. Don't get me wrong, I am a loyal listener and regularly laugh out loud at the pranks, on-air chaos, double entenderes, and general mayhem regularly featured on the airwaves at 1310 AM and 104.1 FM. But it's just entertainment - filler for the time I spend in the car morning and evening. I don't owe these guys anything, the don't owe me anything. We have a mutually beneficial, if anonymous, relationship, but neither they nor I lose any sleep if I don't listen.
With all that said, I'm still enjoying the Hammer-less Hardline. Friday's show, with drop-in guest John Rhadigan, had all the giggles it's ever had. I like the chemistry between Rhyner, Davidson, and Balis, and, let's face it, Greg Williams had barely been contributing to the show for months prior to his disappearance. I don't miss him at all.
As we've mentioned here before, it's unlikely you're going to see much, if any, detail around this story discussed in public any time soon, if ever. There are big legalities and big bucks at stake here (The Ticket is, and has been for some time, a money factory; one which Williams lawyers would love to raid), and the surest way Cumulus, Ticket management, or the on-air staff can kill the golden goose is to start blabbing. Perhaps, some day when the dust has settled, Richie Whitt will write the details for The Observer or for himself. But we're a long way from that day.
Reading comments on Unfair Park, and the few which have been left here, sort of amazes me. It's striking how many listeners feel personally betrayed, and how many have sworn off The Ticket in general, The Hardline in particular. This is entertainment, and pretty sophomoric entertainment at that. Don't get me wrong, I am a loyal listener and regularly laugh out loud at the pranks, on-air chaos, double entenderes, and general mayhem regularly featured on the airwaves at 1310 AM and 104.1 FM. But it's just entertainment - filler for the time I spend in the car morning and evening. I don't owe these guys anything, the don't owe me anything. We have a mutually beneficial, if anonymous, relationship, but neither they nor I lose any sleep if I don't listen.
With all that said, I'm still enjoying the Hammer-less Hardline. Friday's show, with drop-in guest John Rhadigan, had all the giggles it's ever had. I like the chemistry between Rhyner, Davidson, and Balis, and, let's face it, Greg Williams had barely been contributing to the show for months prior to his disappearance. I don't miss him at all.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Daily YouTube: Gigantor
Gigantor was a favorite cartoon of my from my squidhood. I guess I was watching reruns on the 24-inch Zenith black-and-white in the basement. I haven't seen this in about 35 years, but it all came back to me as I watched these clips. Surprisingly, the 12-year-old kid controlling a billion-dollar flying robot made a lot more sense in those days.
I bet this would hold the attention of today's average 7-year-old for about 10 seconds.
I bet this would hold the attention of today's average 7-year-old for about 10 seconds.
How to make a million dolllars (limited time offer)
The James Randi Education Fund (JREF) is offering a cool million bucks to anyone who can perform a paranormal act. This would (presumably) include things like bending spoons with your mind, levitating, teleporting, or making things disappear.
The catch is that you have to do it by March 6, 2010.
It's worth mentioning this offer has been on the table since 1998. No one has claimed the prize yet.
No bits allowed. You have to actually do what you say you can do. Get cracking, people!
The catch is that you have to do it by March 6, 2010.
It's worth mentioning this offer has been on the table since 1998. No one has claimed the prize yet.
No bits allowed. You have to actually do what you say you can do. Get cracking, people!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Daily YouTube: George of the Jungle
My 7-year-old son is singing this song approx 400 times a day. In his honor:
The latest "Jews Report"
From Jewlarious and Yisrael Campbell (such a face!), the latest installment of The Jews Report. Strictly news. Strictly kosher.
Go check it out!
Go check it out!
Bonus YouTube: Bill Gates' last day at MSFT
I can't figure out if this is self-deprecating or obnoxiously arrogant. Oh well, its mildly amusing either way...
Daily YouTube: Genius advertising
For the record, Bud Light makes me gag. But I must admit I like the current "Dude" ads. I can only find two of them online:
Update 01/13: A few more:
Update 01/13: A few more:
Scouse jokes
The UK version of our Aggie jokes, some of these Liverpudlian jokes are well amusing, mate:
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up tothe counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year".
The Scouser said "You're bullsh*tting me!"
The man behind the counter said "Well you started it!"
-------------------------------
If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle
-------------------------------
Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked it would be mugged
-------------------------------
What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
A Burglar
-------------------------------
What do you call a Scouser in a tie?
The accused
-------------------------------
What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.
-------------------------------
What do you say to a scouser in a uniform?
Big Mac and fries please
-------------------------------
What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night?
What you looking at?
-------------------------------
What do you call a scouser in a White Shellsuit?
The Bride
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up tothe counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replied "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is £200,000 a year".
The Scouser said "You're bullsh*tting me!"
The man behind the counter said "Well you started it!"
-------------------------------
If you see a Scouser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle
-------------------------------
Why does the River Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked it would be mugged
-------------------------------
What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
A Burglar
-------------------------------
What do you call a Scouser in a tie?
The accused
-------------------------------
What's the difference between a Scouser and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, and the other's a coconut.
-------------------------------
What do you say to a scouser in a uniform?
Big Mac and fries please
-------------------------------
What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night?
What you looking at?
-------------------------------
What do you call a scouser in a White Shellsuit?
The Bride
Thursday, January 03, 2008
World's greatest error message
A while ago, we posted a series of fake, but funny, error messages one might see thrown up (ha!) on one's monitor. A giggle, but not real, right?
Well, here's a real one, which appeared when a user installed Adobe's upgrade to Creative Suite. Not only has it failed, it's failed "catastrophically".
In fairness, the error is related to Intel's Active Management Technology, and not an Adobe product. It's still funny, though. As long as it's not happening to you.
Well, here's a real one, which appeared when a user installed Adobe's upgrade to Creative Suite. Not only has it failed, it's failed "catastrophically".
In fairness, the error is related to Intel's Active Management Technology, and not an Adobe product. It's still funny, though. As long as it's not happening to you.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
New Year funny fun-fun
A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it."
So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it."
So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."
Daily YouTube: The Falkirk Wheel
Located in Falkirk, Scotland (the same place, I believe, William Wallace went to pick a fight about 750 years ago), the Falkirk Boat Wheel is the first, and only, device of its kind. It's function is to lift and lower boats between the Forth and Clyde Canal and the Union Canal.
I can't do it any justice in writing. Watch the video and you will understand. Is this thing worth the time, money, and effort it clearly took to build? I have no idea, but it is cool to watch:
I can't do it any justice in writing. Watch the video and you will understand. Is this thing worth the time, money, and effort it clearly took to build? I have no idea, but it is cool to watch:
Wikiffiti
If you've looked anything up on Wikipedia, you've seen those little [citation needed] tags. Any user can slap a [citation needed] tag onto a "fact" or assertion they take issue with. This is intended to encourage the author or another contributor to put up or shut up - prove the assertion is true by citing a primary source, or take the assertion down.
This is one of the great methods used to keep Wikipedia entries reliable and (more or less) factual.
Matt from biphenyl.org has printed a bunch of "citation needed" stickers and distributed them to his friends. You'll start to see these stickers pasted to advertisements, graffiti, anywhere you see a claim of dubious veracity.
This is all part of Operation Mindf**k, which sounds intriguing. Sort of strange in a "these people have too much time on their hands" way, but intriguing.
This is one of the great methods used to keep Wikipedia entries reliable and (more or less) factual.
Matt from biphenyl.org has printed a bunch of "citation needed" stickers and distributed them to his friends. You'll start to see these stickers pasted to advertisements, graffiti, anywhere you see a claim of dubious veracity.
This is all part of Operation Mindf**k, which sounds intriguing. Sort of strange in a "these people have too much time on their hands" way, but intriguing.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Daily YouTube: The NHL plays outdoors
The shootout from today's NHL Winter Classic, played outdoors in Buffalo in a snowstorm. This was a GREAT idea by the NHL, which needs more good ideas in a big way.
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