Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Update from Sportsville

Editor's Note: This was written last Sunday, prior to Cowboys-Redskins. I'm not sure that changes anything. Just thought you should know.

I need to apologize to all my fans.

I have let you down. I have let myself down. My blogging has been HORRIBLE this football season. If you were to take a peek into the chaos that is the inside of my melon, you might cut me some slack.

Well, some of you might cut me some slack.

OK, none of you would cut me any slack whatsoever. In fact, you'd likely give me a lot more grief than you have.

I feel guilty for abandoning you during one of the greatest college football seasons ever in the history of ever. I've forced you to turn to the likes of Frank DeFord, Rick Reilly, and other ink-stained wretches for your sports insight. What have any of THOSE guys ever done?

I'm so sorry.

My goodness, what a season it has been in D-1 college football, hasn't it? Any debate left regarding the identity of the premier football conference in the land? I didn't think so. You can have your SEC, which is still a fine conference full of outstanding teams. I will take that Big Twelve Conference, if you don't mind. This has been the first weekend since late Sept when there wasn't a titanic clash of national powers somewhere on the Plains, and the pace picks right back up next Sat night in Norman. The delicious scenario of a three-way tie for the Big 12 South looms likely, as I am betting both my kidneys and all of my lungs (what?) on Oklahoma to beat Tech.

I mean, come on. If you're gambling major organs, who do you trust more? Stoops, or that pirate guy?

The poll, bowl, and Championship scenarios are too many, and too complex, for my simple little pea-brain to grasp. All I know is this could be precedent-setting, historical, and a hell of a lot of fun.

And thank the sweet, sweet Creator of Us All we have D-1 college football to hold our attention. Because the local pro sports scene is the worst it has EVER been.

The Rangers are dead, buried, forgotten, etc for the rest of the year, giving us some measure of relief from that misery. However, the boys of Autumn and Winter are faring no better.

The Mavericks? My God, has a window ever slammed shut with so much force and finality as the Mavericks' championship opportunity? This team SUCKS. Somewhere, Avery Johnson is doing shots of Tabasco sauce, soaking his feet in pots of jambalaya, and laughing his New Orleans ass off. The Kidd trade was a disaster, and we're only now seeing just how big a disaster it was. Cuban has proven to be far too much of a player's owner. Donnie Nelson is hiding under his desk, attempting to avoid the public and thus blame for this mess. Dirk is sitting in a massive leather wing chair in his darkened map room, wearing only BVDs and a helmet with a spike on it, taking the occasional slug from a bottle of schnapps, and wondering how his career turned into such a mess. And Rick Carlyle is trying to remember why this job looked like a good idea 4 months ago.

The Mavericks are done. They will not be good again for at least 5 years. The only question worth pondering right now is what does Dirk have to do to get into the Hall of Fame without a ring.


The Stars are no better, although it's harder to figure out what the heck has happened at the StarCenter in Frisco. What, exactly, is different this year? Were the now-departed spares like Matty Norstrom so important?

I have no idea. However, it seems like a coaching change may be enough to spark this bunch. I hate to say that, as Tippett hasn't done anything really badly, and he's a stand-up guy. However, for whatever reason, he seems to have lost his room. A new voice may be what's needed. The talent seems to be here – last year's playoff run would sorta indicate it, I think. I see reasons to hope for the Stars, but something has to be done to shake the thing up before it's too late.

And the Cowboys? The biggest disappointment of them all, and the most unexpected. We should know pretty quick tonight whether there is anything left to look forward to this season. If the Cowboys can come out, slow the Redskins a bit, and get the ball down the field some, things may be OK. If we get a whole bunch of drops and Marion Barber 2 yard dive plays, and a couple of three-and-outs, I think we're done.

How were we fooled so badly? How did this team, which looked so good at times last year and early this year, implode so quickly and so completely? How did the coach respected as a defensive visionary fail to build a competent defense out of so many high draft picks and expensive free agents?

It has been more than 30 years since Dallas was completely shut out of the playoffs in every major sport. I fear that streak is about to end.

No comments: