I know who I am voting for now

45-35!

Number 5 Texas beat number 1 OU convincingly today. Texas' resounding 45-35 victory puts the 'Horns firmly in the driver's seat for the Big 12 championship and allows us to use "national championship" and "Mack Brown" in the same sentence for the first time since the Vince Years.

Next week's showdown with Chase Daniel and the number 3 Missouri Tigers (assuming they take care of business against Okie State tonight) looms huge. Is there any doubt where EPN's College Game Day will be on Oct 18?

And, not least, we can start using the terms "Heisman Trophy" and "Colt McCoy" in the same sentence as well.

VERY exciting!

Um, ooookaaaayyyy

Certainly looks safe enough...

Ouch

Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ''Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.'' He calls and asks for some condoms.

The woman says, ''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?''

''No,'' he says, ''I'll suffocate!''

The real Iron Man

Football Friday: Texas-OU, 'nuff said

The best weekend of college football is upon us, with many lesser lights also worth a mention. Let's get to it, shall we?

And yes, I know the logo is two years old. It's the best I can find.

Onward!

Colleges

Oklahoma St (+14) @ Missouri
Big stuff in a small town (yes, I've been to Columbia, and I don't recommend it), this one ought to be a shootout. Okie State is not bad at all, but the Tigers have it goin' on. I like Missouri to win, probably by double digits, but I don't know about 14. I'll take the points.

Penn State @ Wisconsin (+6)
Would someone please bury the Nittany Lions? I am so beaten by those third-grade unis and worn-out Joe Pa. Enough. Gimme the Badger Badger Badger Badgers.

Kansas St @ A&M (+3)
I don't think anyone in Vegas has seen the Aggies this year. They barely beat a terrible Army team. Kansas State is no Great friggin' Power, but surely they can beat the lame-o Aggies by more than 3, can't they?

Arizona State (+28) @ USC
It ain't easy being a Sun Devil these days. It probably never is - Tempe is a dump, although Mill Ave has its charms. Regardless, they are a long way from competitive. I wonder how USC will play out the year, but a demolition job here will be a good first step towards redeeming themselves.

Tennessee (+12) @ Georgia
Look no further; here is your Redneck Game of the Week. The SEC has slipped, and Tennessee's demise has been a big part of it. I still love the Big Gay Orange, but Phil is going to have to start paying his players a lot more if he's gonna get competitive again. Georgia mops the floor with the Vols, with a big "wa-hooo" echoing through the empty heads in the stands.

U LA La @ North Texas (+21.5)
Todd Dodge is inquiring about getting his mail forwarded back to Southlake. Poor guy.

OU vs Texas (+6.5)
The Biggie. I can't wait for this one. The Sooners are the better team, Stoops is the better coach, and the stars seem to be in alignment for OU to win and win convincingly. However, Colt McCoy is a one-man army these days. I like the Longhorn defense, although I will readily admit they have seen NOTHING like Bradford & Co. They say never bet with your heart. But, I'm not betting. I'm only running off at the mouth. I like the 'Horns.

Boston University vs the overly large head of Michael Dukakis
I was there during the "Massachusetts Miracle". I knew Lloyd Bentsen and you, sir, are no Lloyd Bentsen. Wait, what?

Pros

Jacksonville (+3.5) @ Denver
Hmm. I like both teams. I really like Cutler, and wish good things for him. However, I think Jacksonville has more. I'll take the Jags.

St Louis (+13.5) @ Washington
The Rams are so bloody awful, but a new coach may give them a bit of life. This is potentially a trap for the Redskins, and I would LOVE to see them step on their weenies. My usual rule is to take 10 points or more when they're given, and I won't break that rule here.

Oakland (+7.5) @ New Orleans
I don't get this. The Rams get nearly two touchdowns at Washington, but the Raiders only get seven and a half at New Orleans? The Saints showed me something against the Vikings the other night, despite the turnovers. Seven and a half is nowhere near enough. Give me the Saints.

NYG @ Cleveland (+7.5)
I keep waiting for Eli to turn into Eli. It will happen. Here? Good a place as any. Go Browns!

Dallas @ Arizona (+5)
The Cowboys will come out and steamroll the Cardinals to silence all the whiners back in Dallas. Adam Jones will have three interceptions and a punt return for a touchdown. All will be right in Cowboyland again next week. Really.

Comedic Value Game of the Week
Not as many choices as usual. This week, usual-CVGW-suspect Detroit is at Minnesota, and the presence of Adrian Petersen gives that game at least a little cred. From here, it looks like Cincinnati @ NYJ is the biggest battle of the inept to be found. The only question is which junior high unis will the Jets be sporting?

Go (insert your team here)!

The best one-line description of the bailout I have seen

From Doonesbury on Oct 9:

"...a game that privatizes profit, but socializes risk."

Put this way, it makes perfect sense. I am finally pissed off.

Feelin’ a landslide a-comin’

Is it just me, or do you get the feeling that the Nov election is going to be an Obama landslide of historic proportions?

I read an interesting MSNBC article today about some of the unknowns which confront the pollsters this year: The Bradley-Wilder Effect, undercounting of big segments of potential voters, and the change in the electorate itself.

The “Bradley-Wilder Effect” is, apparently, the whiteys who won’t vote for Obama based strictly on race, but who are ashamed to admit it when polled. The effect is named for two black candidates who ran for governor in the 80’s – Tom Bradley in CA and Douglas Wilder in VA. In both cases, pre-election poll numbers held steady for the black guy, but the white opponent received substantially more votes than the polls had predicted. This phenomenon has occurred in other elections as well, and there are studies which suggest it might be due to Ed Earl and Viola sitting in their double-wide, repentant enough to know they shouldn’t discount Obama just because he’s a Nee-grow, but still unable to resist the impulse to vote for the honkey just to keep everything all-white.

I think this was a bigger problem in the 80’s. I think we’ve come a long way since then. The phenomenon still exists, but I think the people out there who won’t vote for a brother just because he’s a brother will, by and large, tell you so. I don’t think there are as many closet racists as there used to be. If you’re still a racist in 2008, you’re old school enough to be pretty open about it.

The other two items on the list of pollster-panic-inducers – undercounting the young and the changing face of the electorate – are fairly closely related.

Pollsters call people on their home phones. The problem with this is there is a large, and growing, segment of the population who don’t have landline home phones. Up to 20% of the population is mobile-phone only. And that segment of the population is mostly young. And the young voter is overwhelmingly pro-Obama.

In addition, during the primaries, we saw many, many young and African-American voters hit the polls, many more than have in previous elections. Obama has galvanized these segments of the electorate in a way that John Kerry never could. A lot of people who haven’t voted before are likely to head to the polls, and most of them will be wearing blue.

The financial mess couldn’t have happened at a worse time for the Republicans, as well. The financial mis-management of the country we’ve seen for the past 8 years has come home to roost. I know, a great many things have been in the works for a lot longer than that, but the reality is the average American thinks George Bush broke the world economy. Can either McCain or Obama fix it? Hell, I don’t know. Get us off oil, and anything becomes possible.

The Palin move turns out to have been a mistake. A HUGE splash at first, a major shift in pop culture, and a Vice-Presidential debate that actually got watched, sure. But now the initial steam has been expended and we find out that, while she’s still sorta librarian-hot, if she were a guy she’d have been Dan Quayle’d out of town weeks ago.

The insane “I’m suspending my campaign to go work on the bailout” thing from last week was the final nail in the coffin, if you ask me. I’m sure it sounded great sitting at the conference table. When I first heard it, I was astonished at McCain’s guts for trying it, and thought it had a real chance to work. But it didn’t; it backfired big time.

All this leaves me thinking that we may be on the cusp of some real history here, boys and girls. I am going to go on record as predicting a HUGE win for Obama-Biden. Like, unmistakable-mandate huge.

I’m not going on record saying that’s good or bad. I’m not even going on record as saying which way I’m going to vote (like it even freaking matters – I live in Texas). I’m just saying that’s the way I see it.

Daily YouTube: A stroll down Amnesia Lane

From the late 60s/early 70s: Jeannie C. Riley sings "Harper Valley PTA" live in Nashville.

Maybe it's just me, but this seems surprisingly relevant in today's nutty culture.

Full throttle

Then there was the dude who decided to go for a little nude swim in the moat around the Japanese Emporer's palace. It took police about an hour to collect him out of the water.

I sorta doubt the Japanese were as amused as I am.